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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Booked for ELCS and really scared

40 replies

YellowCecil · 01/01/2011 18:27

Hi all

I'm 37 weeks with my first and my baby is footling breech. ECV failed (and was ridiculously painful). Consultant talked through possibility of vaginal breech delivery but made it clear that at the hospital we are using it would be considered very high-risk and full of intervention. Basically there is no possibility of having the natural birth I imagined. VB would also be more dangerous for my baby, and so the only sensible thing to do is have a Section.

So, why then am I so terrified of the operation? I keep bursting into tears at the thought of it. It isn't just having surgery, but I also feel like I've already failed in some way because I can't bring my baby into the world "properly". I just never thought I'd have a Section. My DH is being very supportive but he doesn't understand, which is perfectly reasonable as I don't understand either!

I just wondered if anyone else felt this way about having ELCS, and whether the experience was as bad as they imagined? Did it really not matter how the baby came into the world once you had her in your arms? Or did it feel like the baby had been taken from you somehow and you'd both been denied an important experience?

Any thoughts or advice would be very welcome. I don't want this to stop me enjoying my new baby and at the moment it feels as though it might.

Thanks!

OP posts:

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Highlandgirl · 04/01/2011 11:18

YellowCecil THANK YOU for posting this thread...I'm due to have a CS and reading everyone's positives comments has been so lovely.

I hope it all goes well for you and congrats on becoming a Mama

Bethan when I saw my consultant last week, he told me if I called within the next 2 weeks or so they would book a date. Most likely to be at 39 weeks.

Highlandgirl · 04/01/2011 11:18

Sorry so about a month in advance for me, but I guess everyone is different and some consultants do get very 'booked' up..!

gallicgirl · 04/01/2011 11:23

I'm in a similar position and hoping very much that the ECV works so I can have my calm home birth.

However, I'm not worried so much about the c-section itself as the stay in hospital afterwards. I'm told it will be 4 days and I'm dreading the idea of sharing bathrooms and not getting any sleep on the ward and being apart from my partner for so long :( I know it all sounds silly and superficial but I think a stressed mum will make baby stressed too.

Meglet · 04/01/2011 12:28

gallic Does your maternity ward have private rooms? If they do then pester the midwives non-stop until there is one free. As for sharing bathrooms I only had one quick shower and was in for 3 days. Much easier to have a shower when you get home IME.

gallicgirl · 04/01/2011 13:09

Just one I think at the bargain price of £88 per night!

I should stop worrying until after the ECV really. These aren't important things in the grand scale of life.

Mind you, I'm still waiting for an appointment ofr the ECV - apparently they're "a bit short of doctors".

japhrimel · 05/01/2011 20:35

I had to have a semi-elective CS after a failed induction and whilst I'm still very upset at not having had the experience of birthing my baby, my CS was incredibly positive and relaxed and a very special experience.

I'd definitely get a single room afterwards if possible but dont stress too much about it. It can be really friendly on the wards and you can get better care in some ways as MWs are just around more.

clareanna · 05/01/2011 23:20

I agree the wards aren't always that bad- plus you will be high on hormones, adrenaline and painkillers so the time will be a bit of a blur. it means you'll be getting lots of rest which despite the best intentions never really happens at home, and you can get great help and advice on breastfeeding etc, so if you do have to stay in try to see the positives! Also visiting times for dps are very flexible so he can be there with you for a lot of the time- and bring you nice food and supplies!! Good luck! I've got my elcs in 4 wks time so this pep talk is as much for me as for you! Had an assisted delivery last time and was on the ward for 4 days - try to get a bed by the window if there is one...

goplayout · 06/01/2011 00:11

OP I can only echo what other posters have said. I had 3 CS and they were the 3 best days of my life!

They were all done at between 38 and half and 39 weeks.

My milk did take longer to come in than some who had VB, but I BF each DC for about a year, so CS didn't cause any long term problems for me.

Agree lying down on side was the most comfortable position to BF for the first few weeks. However I can honestly say that the vast majority of my antenatal friends who had VB had far more painful "bits" than me! Sadly some of them have long term problems caused by VB such as prolapses, double incontinence, severe tearing etc.

I can honestly say I have never for 1 second regretted the way DCs, came into the world, nor do I feel sad that I have not experienced VB. Each to their own though and I can understand that you must be v upset not be able to have to birth you wanted. But if baby doesn't turn and you have to have an ELCS, please try not to worry too much.

PaigeTurner · 06/01/2011 08:20

Gallic - my tip for the post natal ward is to sleep in the day while your visitors watch baby. It was a lot quieter than the nights.

Lovethesea · 06/01/2011 13:29

Yellowcecil - hope you continue to feel better and to get excited about meeting your baby! Once they are here it all gets so much more intense and moment by moment - I hope by then you will be delighted to have him/her, albeit out the sunroof, and can move on to worrying about other aspects of parenting

I had a vb for DC1, all natural start but head wedged in sideways, agonising labour, mw mistakes, rush to theatre, distressed baby, high rotational forceps, massive tearing, bladder malfunction for months, lifelong weakness and issues now with pelvic floor and bladder muscles.

I had an elcs for DC2, all planned start, very quick in theatre, nearly needed forceps during the c-section as he was so wedged in too, no pain at all, heard his first cries, say him seconds later, cuddled him after a quick wipe and check, enjoyed my first moments, recovery was far less painful, birth far less traumatic. No worsening of my issues and DC2 was safely out without all the concerns about oxygen loss we had with DC1.

I enjoyed it. It was exciting.

madamimadam · 06/01/2011 21:11

Yellowcecil, I just wanted to add to the other positive stories here.

I was induced and then had to have an EMCS as DS's heartbeat became erratic. I'd been so sure I'd be having a water birth and was just as sure that I'd never need a CS and, tbh, just terrified of the prospect.

But the staff were simply incredible. I was so scared I was shaking when they gave me the epidural (all fine. Don't know how they did it) but I'd describe the whole experience as serene. I can't echo QTPie enough - it is just the most amazing experience and I couldn't believe that a CS could be, well, enjoyable!

In fact I'm even more of a 'cheat', as because of DS's complications, I never even went into 'proper' labour - but I see that as lucking rather than losing out, IYSWIM? I don't validate any other experience by how much pain I've endured, so don't feel I 'missed out' in any way. I am just indescribably relieved that I had a healthy baby and a wonderful experience.

I also don't think the 'miracle of birth' was any lesser or that it wasn't a 'proper' birth: to me, the fact that I'm lucky enough to be part of a generation of women that's been helped in this way and whose children have a safer passage into this world is something to marvel at. (I think my GGM would have given her back teeth for it.)

It didn't make the moment of seeing my DS for the first time any less mindblowingly incredible or perfect. Seeing him was all that mattered. There really aren't words.

Blimey, I do go on. But just wanted to say - at great length - as someone who'd never had an op before/wanted my birth to be as 'unassisted' as possible, it was just fantastic.

Good luck and I hope you both have a wonderful time

Panzee · 06/01/2011 21:18

I had ElCS for placenta previa and it was a fantastic, positive experience. I echo all these other stories.
I don't feel I 'gave birth' but I don't feel I 'missed out' and bonding was not an issue. He's most definitely my son!
Like earlier posters I too used the Golden Thread breath for when the spinal block was happening.
My milk came in on day 3 no problems.

I had about two weeks' notice too and someone lent me this CD. It really helped me come to terms with the fact I wasn't getting the water birth with added lentil weavery that I had hoped for.
I hope all goes well for you. :)

LadyBubbaAndBump · 06/01/2011 21:44

I cried my eyes out when I was told I had to have an ELCS with DD#2 for the very same reasons as you. I was sooooo sad to miss out on the experience, and to be honest I still feel a bit cheated every now and then, but the actual procedure was a lot less stressful - for my DH in particular - he's found that, having seen both, he much preferred the calm of the ELCS.

We had a laugh actually in the OR and the surgeon and anaesthetist were brilliant.

Good luck with it all :)

Imnotaslimjim · 09/01/2011 10:30

I had an ELCS to have DD, with 3 days notice. I went to consultant on the Friday, to be told I needed the section (severe SPD) and had her at 10.17 Monday morning!

I echo everyone else, it was a very positive experience and the staff were amazing. I was terrified about the spinal block. I don't have a needle phobia but the idea of putting a needle in my back made me want to vomit! I had a nurse sit with me while they sorted it out, and she was wonderful

DD was shown over the screen straight away, then given to DH as soon as she was checked and wrapped. I didnt get skin to skin til we were in recovery, and even then she had to keep mitts and socks on as she was cold, but it didn't detract from anything

I was in a private room due to a latex allergy and it was bliss. It was really quiet and I was even allowed extra visitors cos it didn't affect anyone else.

Stangirl · 10/01/2011 12:43

Just adding my voice to the chorus of approval. 1 ELCS here (and another in July planned). I was in awe of the actual procedure - so calm and efficient. There was no pain at all. I did have a bp crash which put the willies up the anaesthetist but I even enjoyed that bit as i found it quite funny in retrospect. Skin to skin in delivery room, lots of photos taken, bfing in recovery room and zero pain afterwards. Baby was calm and perfect.

I had one moment of worry about the spinal block - i asked what happened if I suddenly coughed - and the anaesthetist said they could handle anything, they were used to doing this with women having contractions for an EMCS.

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