When do you hire a doula

[Secondtimelucky]

I've just started another thread, so forgive all the questions...

We're looking at hiring a doula for DC2. I am currently nearly 15 weeks, so due end of May. Does anyone know what stage in pregnancy you are meant to start looking/booking? Last time it turned out I left everything (from looking for NCT classes to ordering the pram) far too late, so I'm trying not to do that this time.

Also, any recommendations for someone in the Greenwich/Blackheath/Charlton area of SE London would be much appreciated.

It's never too early - doulas get booked up well in advance (I'm already nearly booked till April and getting enquiries for May).

You'll want to meet a few to see who you click with, have time to decide etc. You've then got your doula at the end of the phone/email for the rest of your pregnancy and though she probably won't do any preparation sessions with you until 35+ weeks she'll always be available if you need her.

Details of doulas local to you can be found at www.doula.org.uk - I know there are plenty who cover SE London.

Including me in fact Let me know if you'd like me to PM you my details.

There is a doula calle Sue Stephens who is good, I think she does that area. It is very important to meet a few doulas so you can choose one you really click with.

kentdoulas.co.uk/

We hired ours at 13 weeks, oh my gosh it was the best thing I have ever done and have already told her that she's going to be with me for number two.

Hermya what were the benefits for you of having a doula?

Gail One of my fears before the birth was that my DH would be left to make major decisions for me when I was high and tired off of the gas and air and whatever the hell else I'd been given by that point. I was scared that he would feel very overwhelmed and that we would come away from the entire experience feeling a bit rail roaded.

In the end my labour did go a bit squiffy, my DS had his head flexed weirdly and I didn't progress as I should have done. I ended up being transfered from the midwife led centre to the big hospital where I ended up with a forceps delivery. My doula was with us the entire time and I know that had she not have been there my DH would have felt very overwhelmed and wouldn't have known what to do. Also for myself, I knew going in that we were both being looked after and that there was an extra person who was looking out for us and was of a sound mind to help us make our decisions. She was with us before we went into hospital and she was able to tell us when she felt I was ready to go in.

Yes my birth didn't really go how I wanted, but I have come away from the whole experience feeling positive about what happened.

Me, my DH and my doula have talked about it and we know that with the set of circumstances we were given what happened was for the best. Considering how many people I've seen on here talking about how they've felt tramatised by their labours; I feel that the fact that I've come away feeling positive and able to look forward to the next one (crazy I know) means that for us it was really the best thing we could have done.

Oopps forgot I'd namechanged for something else, sorry Gail the above was me.

Thanks for your reply Hermya. My work colleague is considering a doula and has read up their info on their sites but wanted to know what the Mothers experience was so this is very helpful.
Just wondering if you had to make a decision between forceps and a CS and did she have input into this? Was she allowed to stay with you during the forceps delivery?

gail I am a doula and it rather depends on the situation as to whether doulas can stay during procedures such as forceps.

For instance, for a straight forward (as forceps can be) forceps delivery , cons may decide to procede in the delivery room, therefore anyone who is already present will stay, but if the lady has to move to theatre for the procedure as can happen sometimes, then usually only one birth partner will be allowed to accompany. If the lady chooses doula or dh is up to her but bear in mind that a failed forceps would probably end in cs so to think about that when deciding who to choose to go in.

Doulas have no medical input At all, on any subject, nor should they be giving medical advice, they are there to support parents choices, and empower parents with the necessary info to make informed choices about everything. They will protect mums birthing space but not at the risk of getting in the way of medics trying to do their jobs

Meet a few doulas and make sure the chemistry is right for all parties concerned, you will be sharing an incredible intimate and precious journey with this person and it has to be right.

Good luck. :)

Gail I had a low forceps delivery (head nearly out, but he got a bit stuck) so mine happened in the delivery room. I think I did narrowly miss out on theatre though(pretty glad I did). But Lia is right and our doula was very strict on this point. She wasn't there to make decisions for us and didn't have any medical input. Rather she was there in order to give us the space to enable us to make informed choices. You can't predict what happens in labour at the end of the day, but you can make sure you have the space in order to consider what the medics are telling you are your options and to explain the possible outcomes of each choice. It helps as you feel more in control of whats going on around you.

Thanks all.

Squiggley- yes, a PM would be great. Thank you! Would be great to know if you've done a birth involving QE/QE midwives (depending on whether the homebirth bit pans out) too.