worried about elcs after horrible first birth

[yummytummy]

hiya, hope there is someone who has been in a similar position to me who has come out the other side and can advise!

basically i had a very traumatic 1st birth with ds and still get upset thinking of it now (he's 3) had a very long second stage, failed epidural and then basically ended up with episiotomy and third degree tear. had to then have forceps which only worked on the 3rd go. anyway the healing from all that took a long long time and had to have physio and revision of scar surgery etc etc.

anyway at the time the consultant said i could have an elcs as i know there is no way i could risk going through that type of thing again. apparantly the shape of my pelvis means labour will always be long. i know i may not tear but with risk of incontinence etc and damaging scar tissue even more when its only just recovered, i just dont want to take the chance.

really i guess i just wondered if any of u had similar 1st birth then how did you compare healing after an elcs. was it easier and did it help to not have the trauma of a nasty labour and birth? did u have less pain?
did u feel better to have had an uncomplicated elcs?

also may sound silly but what does the scar look like and exactly where is it?

have always felt unlucky as most people i know have had very straightforward and quick vb's and dont really understand my worries.

phew, epic post over, hope someone can help.

(oh btw am 22 weeks at the moment)

Well I never had the labour you describe but did have a very awful one which ended in emergency section...so my 2nd baby was born via planned section. It was fab...SO relaxed and non-scary compared to my first experience. I was abl to see DD as she was lifted out... saw NOTHING of my wound...DH went with D to get her washed and weighed...and then she was popped on me. Lovely.

The scar sits right where your bikini line is...there is a naturalcrease there...it is a short scar and hardly visible.

Can't comment on a second birth as I'm still getting over a very similar birth to you 6 months ago (third degree tear and subsequent repair surgery). Consultant has told me I'll need an elcs next time too for identical fears of incontinence and re-tearing. Tbh whilst i don't plan on getting pregnant for a while - still too petrified to have sex :( but I just know that bring mentally prepared in advance for an elcs will for me, help massively. Good luck!

thanks for the replies. i know what you mean luceeloo, i didnt want to get pregnant again until the consultant assured me i could definitely have an elcs. no way would i have done it without! it def helps alot.

You sound just like me 4 years ago. V, V traumatic first birth that ended in emergency section. Terrified of giving birth again but desperately wanted a second child. I had an elective cs with ds2 and it couldn't have gone better. And afterwards it was like all the bad memories of the first birth got covered over with the good ones from the second. It was tremendously healing in all sorts of ways. The scar is very low down and not very big at all. I bf ds2 (for 2 years!) and, since everyone who was supposed ot help me post-birth wound up with the stomach flu I took care of ds1 who was 3.5 and ds2 for several days after coming home from the hospital.

I had a lovely birth w dd, G&A, 2nd deg tear only, all healed up. But when I became pregnant w my DTs I was so happy that I would be offered an elcs, which I gladly took up (even though they pushed and pushed - hahaha - the natural birth option, right up to the moment I walked into theatre bless them). The elcs was wonderful - I behaved myself afterwards w regard to exercise, wearing huge pants for ages etc etc, and everything healed up nicely and the scar (still a bit purply after 5 mths) is v discreet. Loved my elcs

yummytummy sorry you had such an awful time.

I have had 3 elcs. All were fantastic experiences.

My scar is very low down on my abdomen, well below where my bikini sits. Its less than 6 inches across and has faded to a silvery colour.

Ask me anything u like.... about the elcs I mean

I had a similar birth to you but had an em cs at the end as the instrumental delivery/rotation failed. I have ptsd too 3yrs later but caused by the labour/delivery attempts, not the cs. The actual cs bit was fine. More than fine. Pain gone. And the physical recovery from that was just fine.

The scar is right down below the hairline. It's about 5 inches long, very, very thin and white. You cannot see it unless you have your nose pressed against it. Is honestly not noticeable in the slightest.

I've googled for a similar scar to mine and it's like this only mine's even less obvious than that.

hi thankyou so much for info on the scar, the pic was v helpful showaddywaddy, 1st time i ve seen one! really not bad dont know what i was expecting!

goplayout, what did you find hardest about elcs recovery? i am just worried about not lifting ds (who will be 3 then) and how much toddler stuff i will be able to do iyswim?

thanks in advance to everyone!

Hi Yummytummy,

I had a horrendous first experience of birth. I was induced, then had a prolonged second stage, resulting in an instrumental delivery and a 4th degree tear.

My second dc was born at 39 weeks by ELCS. i am currently pg with my third and she too will be born by CS.

The cs was a much calmer birth experience. The recovery was painful sometimes but nowhere near as bad as recovering from a bad tear. And yes, it was much better not having had such a traumatic time.

The scar is just below the bikini line and barely visible now.

Lastly, I do know how you feel when you compare your own birth to others who have had a lovely birth experience. For a long time, I felt cheated and sad that I've missed out on that. I've largely come to terms with it now and I'm just grateful for my lovely dc's

HTH

Out of all of my mummy friends only one or two had a "good" birth experience, lots of EMCS's etc. I ended up having an EMCS after a long labour, failed epidural and foceps. The relief when they said they were taking me for a CS was indescribable.

The recovery was fine, and from hearing friends stories easier than recovering from tears etc. I have a neat scar like all the posters above. I do have a slghtly odd numb bit on my tummy that's about 2" square, but it doesn't bother me in the slightest, it's my little badge!!!

I hope to ttc in the next year, and as soon (hopefully) I get pg I'll be booking myself in for an ELCS. There is no way I am risking going through the same experience again.

Good luck

Hi Yummytummy,

Gosh your first birth sounds awful - not surprised you want an ELCS.

I had an EMCS after a long but not too traumatic labour with DS1. Like ICDIB I was so relieved when they took me through to theatre.

I can hardly see my scar at all - it's under my pubes (I do have a bit of a massive bush though !)Thc area above is slightly numb on the surface, which does feel a bit wierd but it's nothing really, especially not compared to some of the down below injuries some people suffer.

I'm now 41 weeks pg with DS2, saw midwife today and my cervix has not even begun to efface! I was hoping for a normal birth but really don't want to be induced so I'm having an ELCS on Friday, unless by some miracle I go into labour before then.

Nobody I know who has had an ELCS has regretted it. To my knowledge the recovery time tends to be quicker than for an EMCS. I was a bit worried about lifting DS1 - that was my main reason for wanting a vaginal birth this time. But to be honest I've struggled to lift him for a while so he's pretty used to it now! By 3 most children can understand if they have to be gentle etc. I have just bought him a junior trampoline on ebay - he's a bit old for it but I need him to have somewhere to bounce other than the sofa!

Don't worry about the ELCS. Seems like a breeze to me. I can't describe how relieved I feel knowing that it's the most likely birth I'm going to have! I'm so excited!!!! Will let you know how it goes!

I had a horrendous birth with DS1 so had an ELCS for DS2. It was wonderful. Healing so much quicker, scar barely noticeable at all (DS2 is just 1), highly recommended!

DS1 was 2.5 at the time, and picking him up was something I was worried about, but actually it was fine, it was only for a very short time, I was able to lift him on to my lap pretty quickly, although not carry him about for a couple of weeks. But then at that age they don't really need carrying about; it's not like having one with an 18mo in tow or something.

I had a traumatic forceps first birth. Long recovery and longterm damage.

I had an elcs second time round. The hardest thing was waiting to be called down because I had to fast. Once in I actually enjoyed it, I was so relieved I hadn't gone into labour before my date, I was excited to be meeting my new DC.

I got a lot more skin to skin and calm first moments with DC2 than I did with DC1. I was in discomfort at first but not in pain. I was up and moving the next morning and the catheter came out after 24 hours without the months of incontinence the first birth caused.

I took it all gently and organised help (MIL and DM came up for a fortnight each to look after DC1 who was 19 months). I thought no lifting would give me the best chance of a good recovery and this time round I could plan. I recovered really well, was driving after 3 weeks and felt really good compared to my first awful birth.

My scar is just above my bikini line, very thin red line that is fading. I also found the second birth very healing. I was pretty traumatised by my first birth and the damage I was left with longterm. I had support from a maternity psychologist this time round before the elcs and the whole experience has laid a lot of ghosts to rest. I felt my elcs was the safer option for both DC2 and my health.

There is a thread somewhere here on childbirth of those of us going for an elcs after a traumatic birth - perhaps have a read through if you want more stories.

Had, like you, a v bad vaginal birth with dc1 that was mismanaged including complete lack of pain relief, dc was born blue after overlong 2nd stage, 3rd degree tear with long term consequences and infection caught from hospital. Later found out my notes labelled it traumatic.

The elcs was, by contrast, a pleasure! The toughest bit was having the spinal block put in but compared with childbirth, over in moments. Pain was v well controlled by medication, in fact my pain after the vb, unmedicated, was so much worse. My scar is 18 weeks old and is a neat line just above my pubic hair. Stomach is completely flat, no overhang, it just looks like a red line you would get if you burnt yourself on the oven and it will fade. Bleeding for about 10 days after, not heavy. Had no problems picking up NB and after the first 3 days pretty mobile but good excuse just to sit and bond.

There is a good MN thread for things to take in to hospital and general advice if you're having a ELCS. Things like sleep completely flat afterwards so scar doesn't pucker, take in Windese and peppermint to deal with trapped wind, take flip flops so don;t have to bend down etc. Will link if you want it.

V happy to answer any questions! Any pretense at modesty long gone after having children!

Hi Yummy Tummy

You asked what I found hardest re: elcs recovery. Tbh I can't remember anything being really awful. For the first couple of days in hospital my scar was very tender, but pain relief medication was good. In hospital I could walk round a little, shower myself, pick baby out of crib, hold for breastfeeding etc. In those first couple of days I think I would have struggled to bathe the baby by myself, but the midwife insisted on "showing me how to do it"... for all 3dc!

It was slightly annoying not being able to drive for a couple of weeks, but my consultant said that once I felt confident I could do an emergency stop without holding back, it was fine to drive. I waited a couple of weeks after each elcs and never had any problems.

There's only 18 months between DC1 and DC2, so I had 2 in nappies / double buggy to push / lots of mum & baby meet ups / older DC wanting to be picked up etc but managed all of it no problem. DH and DPs helped at home for the first week mainly with cooking, cleaning, assembling the pushchair, ironing etc, but I think I could have managed the essentials even if they hadn't been around to help (sod the ironing /vacuuming!)

I recovered quicker than lots of the other 15 mums in my 2 antenatal groups. Believe me, I heard all the gory details and sadly some of them still have long term problems (prolapse, incontinence etc). I am not saying cs is a risk free procedure or would suit everyone, but my experiences were fantastic.

Hope this helps yummytummy.

Would love to hear how you get on

I had an EMCS with DC1, though it didn't really feel like an 'emergency'. Basically, I come down with severe preeclampsia at 33wks so the baby had to come out and c-section was the the only way it was going to come out as there wasn't time to wait around for an induction of natural labour.

Everyone was very relaxed and professional, though there was about 20 people in the small theatre. The anaesthetist was amazing, provided lots of reassurance before and during the operation.

Hardly any vaginal bleeding, maybe they suction it all out. There is pain afterwards but its like an annoying stinging pain and alot more bearable than I imagined. Everyone marvelled over my scar as its extremely small and tidy.

I'm pregnant again, am aiming for a VBAC but don't want to be induced so would have no hesitations going for an ELCS especially as my consultant won't let me go over my due date.

kangaroocaught, would love that link if u can do it. the more info the better! i veer from relief that i wont have the horrendous labour, tearing etc again and fear of the elcs but it has really helped to hear so many positive experiences. would love to hear from anyone else too. thanks!