excited but getting very nervous too...

[fanny75]

After 35 weeks of reading the pregnancy threads I thought I ought to check out some of the childbirth ones, which, possibly, was not wise! I am a little worried that I am going to be a total wuss when the time comes. I was wondering if anyone had any nice calming advice that I can focus on? Today I'm trying to focus on meeting my little person who's bouncing around quite happily inside me, and I'm trying to ignore how we'll actually meet. I'm not sure that it helps that I have never spent any time in hospital before, and that I'm in France and I'm worried that my limited French might desert me in my hour(s) of need. Also, I know that the French just LOVE any excess of medical intervention, I've been told in our antenatal classes that I'll have all sorts of wires and drips attached - is this normal? Perhaps I shouldn't have watched quite so many episodes of Casualty...

I dont have any advice but I am also worried..I am 39 weeks and just want the baby out but am also scared about the whole thing..its awful because you have no idea what to expect.

he he hi kitten30!

fanny75 am 40w on Thurs and absolutely crapping it! Can't wait to meet her but also so so scared of the unknown!

I am such a control freak and the worst thing about the whole thing is all the uncertainty!

The best advice I've got is don't look on the horrific births and tears threads on mn! (too late for me....!)

Yeah and I would add to that..stay away from you tube videos ..again too late for me. I think sometimes ignorance can be bliss..would have saved me a whole heap of worry! To be honest though I do feel that crap that the fear is fading and I just want an end to it now.

I'd say make sure you understand what all the potential interventions are for and what the pros/cons are. Then decide what you'd like to do in certain situations and make sure your birth partner knows your preferences and what is important to you.

You certainly wouldn't have to be attached to drips/monitors if everything is going smoothly, but some of that may be down to hospital policy.

I am 37 weeks and the baby can stay just where it is for the time being

I have just left work so have been in bed all day, need a hair wash and should be up and about getting stuff done. I'm not scared about the birth, even though it's my first.

I think my advice would be to try not to be too scared as it can raise your anxiety and your adrenalin which is bad when trying to give birth. Oh and get loads of sleep!

Just remember, the baby will come out one way or another and there is no right way.

I've finally sat down with my hypnobirthing cd which was recommended to me from other mumsnetters. I was quite enjoying it until the neighbours started doing some DIY and dh stomped passed. It's got loads of good points, esp about the adrenalin thing. I shall have another go today.

I think the arguement for the drip is that its for 'just in case' so that if I suddenly need something then they haven't got to stress hunting for a vein - which makes sense. I think too that in France they're so matter of fact about everything, after all I'm certainly not the first lady to have a baby, so really I should just relax and let nature do its thing. Mmmm... easier said (typed) than done!

The fear is the worst bit, honest! I was scared too for definite (first labour). My labour didn't work out the way I planned, got to 8 cms in the pool, not even gas and air....lovely. Then nothing, tried all sorts of positions, but gorgeous DD was brow presentation and there was no way she was coming out on her own. Was moved to surgical hospital (from MWLU) and had epi and forceps. She came out with 2 tugs without a scratch on her.

At the time I was scared, confused and in pain. BUT: It really wasn't that bad looking back. I had forgotten a lot of it, and felt resentful I didn't get the natural birth I wanted. I felt like I hadn't worked hard enough. DH has filled in a few blanks and now I feel better about it!

Try not to worry. It is a natural thing that your body will do its best to handle. If it can't, modern medicine can do wonders. Like I say, the fear/nerves when it kicks off are the worst bit, but sooo exciting as well! At the very beginning I didn't really want to believe it was happening, with every contraction I got more and more excited!

Thanks ninkynonker..that was reassuring and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks.

Try not to worry, it does hurt but you'll cope and if it was really that bad we'd all only have one child! I would do it again a million times for my ds so it can't have been that bad. Good luck and remember that at the end of it you'll get a gorgeous little baby xx

It wasn't as detailed as I wanted but was/am balancing a baby. If it helps,dd is 4 months now nearly and despite pain I would do it all again tomorrow. In fact,am already excited about number 2 in a few yrs...if it was that bad I wouldn't be! It genuinely is the most amazing experience. Painful,yes. Scary (only cause of lack of control),yes. But absolutely amazing.

i think knowing that if you need it you can have pain relief helps and makes it a little less scary. I had 2 epidurals with my 2 so at the actual birth I didn't feel pain but they weren't straight forward, easy births and at no point did I ever think it was that awful and I couldn't go through it again. good luck to you all.

Thanks ladies...I am doing my best to keep calm and just think if I cant handle t then there is always epidurals.

All I would say is it is never as bad as you imagine it will be. I ended up having an epidural as my labour was v long and that was wonderful and stopped me getting so tired I managed to push DD out myself. I started off in the pool and that was wonderful pain relief too with gas and air (one extreme to the other!). As corny as it's sounds, it all stops when your baby is born and even if they are stitching you up you are so focused on your baby.
I look back on the day as I gave birth as one of the best of my life. Good luck.

NinkyNonker, ever considered being a labour cheerleader? You could start a new trend! I'm 36 weeks and have wobbles every now and then when I think of what's ahead of me, but your post was so reassuring and thanks to you I'm now having a very welcome bout of excitement!

Oooh, I like the sound of that! My labour was far from perfect, but overwhelming and like I say...I'd do it again tomorrow. I wish I'd paid more attention to the feelings of excitement instead of the nerves at the time to be honest! But I guess that is the power of hindsight, I was singing a different tune for a day or so after the event, but talking it through with DH put everything in a different light. I'm almost jealous of others who are about to have babies, all the excitement ahead of you.

Also worth noting that I felt fine after, yes the day or so in hospital was uncomfortable but once I got home I was on such a high. Everyone is different, but it isn't always a disaster zone. Just remember to never feel guilty about anything you do feel, if you are tired and overwhelmed that is normal. If you are buzzing and bouncing off the walls that is normal too!

Be excited, your body is about to do something amazing!

Try to labour at home for as long as you can/are comfortable. I used a handkerchief with frankincense on it to regulate my breathing. When I had a contraction, I would put the handkerchief over my face and breathe. The smell of the frankincense was strong and made me slow down my breathing. Much easier than trying to remember to breathe slow.

Can you go to the hosp/find out more about how things work in France?

I found it really helpful to see the ward, typical room etc in advance and understand it all a bit more.

Will you have a birth partner who speaks good French? No idea what the culture is there re: childbirth but if someone can translate/speak up for you a bit it might help.

Anyway - whatever happens try to relax as much as you can in these last few weeks and concentrate on the fact that it doesn't have to be scary.

I watched/read lots about childbirth (even scary stuff) as I thought if I was pre-warned of things that might happen then I would be less worried if it happened to me. Also more able to say no thanks to any intervention I wasn't happy with at that point. I felt really informed and confident that I understood physiologically at least what was going on.

I had 3 days slow labour before going to hospital, that was as bad as it ever got to be honest. Hypnobirthing and TENS machine were brilliant, had G&A at 8cm and that was it.

I kept waiting for it to start 'properly' hurting and it honestly didn't. Some contractions were full on but not terrible and I knew they wouldn't last that long, and that each one was a step closer to meeting our baby.

Pushing was amazing, just felt like a huge overwhelming force that I couldn't resist (a bit like being sick IYKWIM).

I tore and needed some stitches but they didn't hurt either and didn't hurt after.

I promise that it really was fine, absolutely nothing like I'd imagined and actually a really nice experience. I know some/lots of women have a crap time but it definitely doesn't have to be like that so don't be scared.

OOh I like that idea..that you were waiting for the 'proper' contractions. This thread has chilled me out a lot! Thanks.

A friend said the same thing. She had a lovely waterbirth, no pain relief, 2.5 hrs pushing. (First baby.) Said the contractions hurt, but kept waiting for it to get worse. Said pushing was less painful than the contractions!

Just passing through to wish you all good luck. at you all getting to have that 'meeting the new baby' moment soon... it's so, so lovely. Even after an emcs

Enjoy!