Birth reflection service, how do you go about arranging the chat?

[HermyaAndThePomBears]

Hi,

I want to speak with someone about my birth and basically go through my notes with someone. I've been thinking about my birth the last few weeks and I think it would help to speak with someone about it and ask what can be done differently next time.

How do I go about doing this? Do I just ring the midwife/health visitor or is there someone specific you have to ask?

Thank you

I found the number by accident on the internet so I just called and made the appointment without involving anyone else but afaik your health visitor should be able to give you contact details or maybe pals could help. I didn't have my debrief until ds was nearly 8mo because I had no idea that it was available in my area and when I told the mw that she was really shocked that the hv hadn't told me.

Fwiw I felt a million times better after my debrief. Good luck, I hope it helps you

I asked the health visitor and she phoned the lady who does it, it really helped (although I didn't think so at the time a couple of days later I realised I didn't feel so sad).

Hope you manage to sort it out, and I really would advise taking someone with you (preferably your birthing partner) it can be quite emotional :)

Yes, you can call the MW/HV.

If you can't get hold of them try PALS at your hospital, who will be able to put you in touch with a senior MW. I found PALS very helpful when I needed to do this.

HTH

Sorry such a long post, but this is what I did to debrief myself...

I can definitely recommend asking for copies of your birth notes as well, as there's nothing like going through them in your own time, with large glass of wine (and box of tissues) before discussing the major areas of concern with your midwife/health carer.

I waited 3 years 'till I felt that the time was right.

It was heartwarming to read some beautiful comments written by a lovely midwife towards end of labor, things I'd forgotten and make me smile/cry a little.

It was interesting that her notes were so positive and the consultant that kept popping in was obviously itching for a c-section from the off, judging by notes! I also discovered that the reason that myself and partner were told that the c-section was needed was not the reason listed in notes. In the notes, he'd decided I had taken too long, but we were told at the time that baby was too distressed and I was too swollen to deliver anyway. The distress and swelling was not mentioned once in the notes.

I feel completely liberated. Not cross- I know the NHS Maternity Services are crap anyway, so not supprised! None of this was my body's fault, and I know myself better than anyone else. That's all I need to know to prepaire myself for a better time with No.2.

Carly Do you write in for copies of your birth notes? Your reasoning for being better prepared for number two is why I want to do it. There is no way on this earth that I want to go through what I went through this time again.

You can get a copy of your notes by submitting a "subject access request" under the Data Protection Act. To describe it less ponce-tastically, just ask PALS what to do and they'll help you get the form you need.
The hospital may charge for the notes, but I think the charge should be fairly low - a tenner perhaps.

The thing is, you might find hyour notes pretty incomprehensible. The best way to do it might to be to arrange an appointment to go through your notes together with a MW.

HTH