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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

fed up as there are so many things wrong with me 4 weeks post birth - need some encouragement

11 replies

Charlie111 · 16/11/2010 18:12

Dear everyone

i don't mean to moan or be fed up as i adore my baby and it was all more than worth it, but it's difficult when 4 weeks on there is still loads wrong with me and it keeps increasing with new problems... does anyone have advice on how to 'keep my chin up' or had similar experiences and fully recovered?

this is everything wrong...

  • 2nd degree tear thats been infected an is healing but really slowly... still an open wound as my perineum 'broke down'
  • piles from pushing so hard in labour
  • thrush on nipples and down below from the antibiotics
  • stretch marks all over that are horrid
  • still swollen fingers and feet and i cant get my weddiung ring on
  • masses of post pregnancy fat (reckon about 2 stone!)

help... its a depressing list...

x

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
japhrimel · 16/11/2010 18:15

What treatments are you getting? Anusol suppositories, anti-fungal treatments for both you and baby and probiotics seem like a must!

Charlie111 · 16/11/2010 18:38

I'm getting all the treatments - i have to keep all the tablets and creams in a bag with me as there are so many... it's rather depressing... so many meds to take.

I just cant wait for it all to get better!

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CarGirl · 16/11/2010 18:40

Try and remember that it took 9 months for your body to get into that state so the fact it's not great after 4 weeks isn't surprising.

Huge hug though, you've had a rough ride it will all start to improve.

elsiemarley · 16/11/2010 19:56

No one seems to tell you how hard it really is...yes, my body was in a right state both times and I recovered (am recovering from DC2). 4 weeks is still early, this time next week you will feel much better, and twice as better the following week.

I didn't keep my chin up too much TBH, just was very kind to myself and wore my pyjamas a lot, and accepted every last bit of help that anyone offered. Oh, and didn't worry if the house was a mess and did all my food shopping on line or sent dh out.

On a practical level, would fibrogel help, its meant to er, 'loosen the stool' and make the whole thing easier and less painful on both the piles and the stitches. Also, wearing a mighty and letting the area get as much air as possible is meant to help too and perhaps going commando (in your mighty) if you can helps.

Bio oil is good for getting rid of stretch marks and lathering it on make you feel like you are doing something to help.

The swollen hands and feet do go. I had a dreadful time, my mantra was 'this too will pass' and it did.

Hope you feel better soon, if you feel to rubbish have a nice cuddle with your wee one (the one bit of advice that the HV gives that you should definately ignor is that it's bad to let your baby go to sleep on you, it's the best thing when you are feeling crap IMO).

clarabellarocks · 16/11/2010 20:34

Please don't feel like you are the only one who this happens to. Whilst the media is full of these glam women days after giving birth (which is all false) it is very different from the rest of us.

First time round I was so sore after an episiotomy, piles, engorged boobs with nipples that bled and looked like craters, incontinent and overweight. So far removed from what I had been. And to be honest it was a long slow haul to get back to myself and was probably 4 months before the weight even started to drop off.

Just don't be too hard on yourself. One thing I found was that everyone tells the truth about birth but nobody tells you how hard it is afterwards and how you feel like you are someone else. Give yourself time and I wouldn't even worry about the weight for another few months - birth and pregnancy takes it out of you. Try not to get too down.

RememberToPlaywiththeKids · 16/11/2010 20:54

oh yes I can sympathise too. Horrid.

Can I highly recommend you go and see an osteopath? It should really help to improve your lymphatic drainage and immune system, which sounds like just what you need. Really.

CommanderDrool · 16/11/2010 21:01

It will pass.

in a year you will look and feel 100 times better. In two years you will almost be back to how you were before. Childbearing does leave indelible marks on your body but you will get used to it.

bethylou · 16/11/2010 21:06

Hey, I had a catheter bag strapped round my shin for a month after having each my two as my bladder went into shock, in addition to most of the list you have mentioned-very attractive!

I haven't said that to belittle your situation, more to say that yes, it's crap for a bit, but like you say, the baby makes it all worthwhile, and that 9 months on, most of the problems are a thing of the past for me and we're getting on with life again as a family of four.

Hang in there and be kind to yourself.

ricketyrock · 16/11/2010 21:06

God yes I agree with what everyone says Charlie. I am 11 weeks PP and only just beginning to feel normal. Piles, stitches, wobbly bits, wobbly hips, urgency when needing the loo, so on and so forth. And no one in RL talks about this. Also because I think people forget, because it is transient and does pass.

Also like Clarabella says we see these images of celebs 'snapping' back after 3 weeks and I for one feel pressure to be like this. It makes me angry actually, though perhaps I should just stay away from the Daily Mail celeb website! Now I've done it once I know that recovery from birth does take a long time and I'm learning to be patient and to not feel pressure to be back to 'normal' quickly.

muslimah28 · 17/11/2010 17:54

OP, i had everything you listed except the thrush. it was tough. it was really hard. but DS turned 6 months last week, and now the only thing left on my list is the excess weight to lose... you will get there too.

have a look at this recent thread to get some advice on what to do with your tear.

but as everyone says, don't underestimate how long it will take your body to recover.

Charlie111 · 17/11/2010 19:34

thanks everyone - it really helps to hear the stories and the advice

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