Male midwives

[lollypoplady]

Just curious, would you feel as comfortable having a male midwife as a female one?

I would love to say I would feel equally comfortable with male or female... but honestly, I wouldn't. I just couldn't bear any man other than DH touching me.

I had a number of women MW's, one who was very good (some not so good) and one very good man. He was very, very kind to me, did more in terms of changing sheets, making me more comfortable, carrying me together with my husband (I had a 'walking' epidural but couldn't really walk!) than any of the women.

Beforehand I might not have thought I would be so comfortable with him but I knew as soon as I met him he would be great. He said some exceptionally kind things in a very sad situation (stillborn).

I had a male mw in hospital for the birth and he was great. Very calming manner.

I shall always remember one episode while I was pushing. I was mid push, giving it all I could, and he calmy said, "relax now Cies". I lay back there, enjoying the respite, then pushed again with the next contraction. Afterwards it emerged that ds had had the cord wrapped around his neck and the mw had wanted me to stop pushing to unwind it. But the way he had phrased it didn't make me worry at all.

This in total contrast to the way my antenatal classes had said it would be (the female battleaxe of a mw had us all practising pushing, then suddenly yelled STOP PUSHING and we all had to pant )

Hmmm - in an ideal world my preference is for an experienced female midwife who has given birth herself. (With DD I did hire a v. experienced IM with 4 children.) Thinking about it, I usually do request female doctors for smears etc.. just because I feel more comfortable.

But I'd definitely rather have a competent and friendly male midwife than a female battleaxe who put my back up.

In an emergency situation or if expert medical advice was needed, gender wouldn't be top of my list of priorities...

I had two midwives at my delivery, the female's shift ended at 5pm and David took over - he was lovely much better than the female. My view is that once you have seen one birth you have seen it all. He even stiched me up after my epesiotomy. I only got David because a Muslim woman refused him to attend to her? Don't see what the problem is at all... It was better for hubby too as they had stuff in common to talk about while I was otherwise occupied.

glad to see im not on my own any more with more recent posts!

My midwife following the birth who visited us a home was a real dragon - I hated her, absolutely no sense of humour and very matter of fact in her approach. I couldn't wait to get her out of the house.

I quite like the idea of a male midwife - the men I have seen during the course/aftermaths of my labours have always been exceptionally kind, courteous and genuinely empathetic.

This is a gross generalisation (so apologies)but I think there is a tendency among woman, particularly those that have their own children, to be a bit blasse about birth where as men seem slightly more amazed and respectful of it.

In theory I would be fine with it. I find male nurses are often more sympathetic than female ones because they want to be doing the job, they're often naturally that way so it doesn't feel forced and they're just generally more balanced.

I had a male MW stitch me up after DD1 was born, and they're the only stitches i didn't have problems with!

I wouldn't mind, not sure what DH would say though.

A male midwife delivered my 2nd DC. He was lovely.
When I met him, he asked whether I minded him looking after me and said that he wouldn't be offended at all if I said no! I didn't have a problem with it and he was great :)

Personally I'd be fine, but I think it's important to recognise that this is one area where individual women should have a choice to express their wishes - some women wouldn't feel comfortable and this should be accepted as a perfectly reasonable choice.

I had a male community midwife who came after I went home, and he was great - won an award for best community midwife a while later. He didn't need to look at my stiches or anything but MrNC was around so I'd have been OK.

I don't think it makes a difference if a mw has given birth or not - I've had problems before with female docs thinking they know how periods/pregnancy etc feel because they've been there, whereas at least if a mw hasn't given birth they know they don't know how it feels!

I'd be happy with a male or female midwife - to me it doesn't make a difference as long as they know what they are doing.

I'd also be happy with students in the room. My friend is studying Midwifery and so I know how important it is for them to be there and learn.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I generally like to trust all professionals in all professions.Naive much?! But rather that than be a walking skeptic .I trust the times we live in and how life moves with them.

Absolutely would not bother me so long as he was competent, compassionate and maybe not too good looking (joke)

Not bothered for sweeps, aftercare, breastfeeding advice etc either. Though not sure what all this "checking of stitches" is that you all mention Nobody seemed to give a toss about my (fairly crappy) needlework.

i had a fantastic male midwife with dc1 and found him better than some of the female ones who sometimes had the attitude of I did it without all the fuss so what's your problem. Male midwife was much more empathetic.

i dont think you get a choice.

I had ds3 3 weeks ago and had a female student mw for most of it who was very good, better than any had had before (ds1 had one female midwife who almost killed ds1 with her incompetence, ds2 had 2 female midwives who only saw briefly at beginning and end, no help at all). Baby got a bit stuck towards end and needed a bit of help at the pushing stage so she called the senior midwife in to help who was male. I have to say he was great as was very camp and amusing but also wasnt taking any shit and told me to, basically shut up and push which was just what I needed at that point. He then did my stitches afterwards. He was clearly gay but even if not I don't think you care what gender they are during childbirth as long as they help you and give you gas and air!

Had plenty of male doctors looking at my private parts during my two complicated pregnancies, so can't say I'd have been worried about a male midwife. Not even sure having a midwife who'd been through labour is necessarily such an advantage- after all, she's been through her labour, not my labour.

I really couldn't have cared less. I think there might have been some men in the room at the end, its all a bit hazzy, and I didn't find out how risky things had got till a while afterwards.

If I was to have another baby, I don't think I'd mind - guess you leave your dignity there the first time

Sure, why not?

I saw a male MW (should that be MH??) and he was nice, pleasant etc, not during labour though, but there again, by the time my labour had progressed to the epidural/cs stage I didn't have much of a clue who was in the room or not and if they were male, female..

Always midwife - from the old English, meaning with woman...

My gynaecologist was male (and looked rather disconcertingly like that orange antiques man) the obstetric nurse was female and a hardfaced witch.

Tbh, I reckon once you get to 9mths, you've had so many people with their hands up your nethers and their face in your fanjo, it matters not a jot whether they're male or female.

Now, had the question been "could you have sex with a gynaecologist" I might answer differently.