I'm not coping with this

[MummyB2010]

Hi all,

I am 9 days overdue and booked to be induced on Sunday.

I had been having minor contractions since 3am yesterday at 40, 30 then 15 min intervals during the day, but at sweep appointment yesterday cervix was totally closed and behind babies head out of reach.

Contractions have really ramped up since midnight last night, building up to about 5 mins apart for an hour or so but then tailing off. I have got it back up to 5 mins apart 3 seperate times, only for it to tail off again each time. I am keeping upright and active but to no avail. Between contractions I'm fine (e.g. posting on here!) so clearly very very early labour.

I'm embarrassed to admit, the contractions are really really painful, sometimes reducing me to tears (I do not usually have a low pain threshold). Internal exam today confirmed that cervix is now in a favourable position but not dilated one iota! I am absolutely gutted that the contractions have been causing me so much pain since midnight last night and I have made no progress at all. Although cervix has moved considerably so midwife has confirmed that this is real labour, she also felt/saw my contractions and confirmed as the real thing.

Midwife also confirmed that this baby is 'a bit back to back', so she has said that is probably the reason for the additional pain and failure to progress past 5min intervals. Quite clearly there is a very long way to go yet for me.

I just can't sit or lie down, so have next to no sleep for the last 2 days. If I do nod off, the contractions which wake me a few mins later are so intense that it's quite scary.

I have always felt so positively about this birth and my ability to cope, but the way things are going it seems I appear to have totally overestimated myself.

Am I struggling with this early stage because baby is partly back to back, or does anyone have any experience similar to mine?

I'm so scared that the worst is quite clearly yet to come. Can anyone offer me any advice?

I can only say give yourself a break, what will be will be and you dont want to wear yourself out. The first 5cm seem to take the longest and the more realxed you are the quicker it will happen, you will also need your energy levels topped up, so have a snack and a snooze. I know that isnt what you want to do but you will be fine.

Focus on the lovely baby you're going to get at the end of this. If you have an exercise ball, roll around on it as much as possible (will encourage the baby to move to the right position). Watch a funny movie (a guaranteed feel good one of your choice), eat some food and try and ignore the contractions as much as you can (I know its hard - I had 2 days of contractions with DS1 in early labour - but sitting there timing and fearing the next one to come wont help), do some baking or something else to take your mind off things and try and breathe through your contractions (nice long slow breathes). If you can eat, eat something now and have a bath if it helps you relax. And who knows, once the baby moves round abit it may well be that you've already had the worst of the contractions...

Good luck.

Thank you so much.

I am taking your advice and just trying to go with the flow a bit more. Not bothering to time the contractions, just breathing through each one as best I can and then forgetting about it and trying to keep active to encourage baby to better position.

Really thought I was well on my way this morning before I was examined!! silly me.

This sounds very like my early labour with DD. Is there anybody there with you?

Although DD wasn't OP, I had back labour throughout and we think that because she had a hand above her head she kept pushing herself up off the cervix and slowing dilation. The contractions weren't agonising or anything like that but they were strong enough that I couldn't sit, lie or sleep for three days.

It was the tiredness and lack of any end in sight that I remember as the biggest negative from labour, not the pain. I'm not someone who needs much sleep and 24 hours awake is no big deal for me. After 48 hours I was feeling it, and by 60 hours straight awake I was losing hope. I credit my MW with supporting me through this bit.

The only things that helped were stomping up and down the stairs, having DH apply very strong pressure to my lower back (I had bruises for a week and he strained his thumbs), and being in warm water (unfortunately MW encouraged me to get out of the pool eventually because she thought that being so comfy in there might also be slowing my labour down...).

I won't tell you to rest, sleep, doze etc.. because I know it probably isn't possible with contractions at this intensity. Do try moving around, spending time on your hands and knees and maybe running a warm bath or shower.

On the encouraging side, 0-6cm was a really slow process but from 6cm to DD's birth was less than an hour....

My second labour was more painful and more difficult than my first (quite unusual) I discovered she was back to back once I got to 9cm, so you have my sympathy. What helped me to get her into the right position was to go up and down the stairs sideways and empty my bladder.

You are doing really well. Don't berate yourself for "not coping well" you are doing brilliantly!

Good luck - and keep posting!

Have you got a TENS machine? When I was induced with DD2 I slapped the TENS machine on and lay in bed. I don't know how much sleep I actually got, but I'd often wake up finding I'd dozed off after pressing the boost button while in early labour. It helped - I don't know how much, but it helped. Given how tired you are it might be worth a try.

I had a long (although thankfully fairly painless) latent phase with DD1. But once labour got going she was out within 7 hours. Fingers crossed your body's just doing all the work now and your active labour will be straightforward and not too long :).

Are you trying positioning moves to get baby to move round before it descends any further? I've read that this is important to help progress - get on your hands and knees or lean on a ball instead of being more upright. If baby comes round, it'll be able to put more effective pressure on your cervix.

The Spinning Babies website gets recommended a lot:
spinningbabies.com/

Have you tried lying on your left side leaning forwards onto a cushion a little? Might help you get some rest without compromising positioning.

I cannot believe how much better I feel already, thanks to everyone for your good advice. I'm quite shocked at how easily I wobbled and doubted my body's ability to deal with this!
My baby will be here soon, and I haven't even had to be induced like i thought I would. Thanks for helping me to get a grip!!
I will come back and let you know how I'm getting on xxx

is this baby number one? your cervix has to move forward, thin out and then dilate, which takes time.. as you now know !

an OP baby does not put equal pressure on the cervix which can mean a slow and painful strt to labour

use a birth ball, if you need to rest, lay on your left side, try wallowing in the bath

eat and drink lightly, rest when you need to and your body will do what it needs to do

hopefully you won't need induction x

Back to back labour is rumoured to be the most painful, had it with DD who also took a long time to arrive, you have my sympathies.

You sound like you're doing really well so far, only thing I'd add to the good advice above is keep upright and active as long as you can. I paced the house for 27 hours of my labour and am pretty sure that's how I got DD to turn right way round.

Hope it's going well for you Mummy! That little bundle will make it all worthwhile.

What you really must do is focus on what is most important at the moment - and that's keeping us updated here!!!

"I have made no progress at all" - yes you have! Your cervix needs to move forward before anything else can happen. So your body is doing just what it should and definitely making progress. Thinking good thoughts for you.

glass of wine. 2 paracetamol. jump in a nice hot bath. make your DP look after you and do whatever you want him to.

I had totally unproductive contractions for about 3 nights prior to my induction date, it was horrendous and frustrating and yes, really painful so I do sympathise wholeheartedly. The contractions WILL be getting you somewhere though, I was gratified to learn that I was 2cm when I arrived for induction and it only took a tiny dose of the hormones to tip me over the edge (so to speak) into a very straightforward, manageable and quick labour.

You are doing really really well - this last bit is the absolute worst and it WILL be over soon and then you WILL meet your amazing new baby in just a few short days. Please come back and tell us how it goes!

This is so very common I am amazed you don't hear about it much in ante natal classes. I had this first time round, in labour for 5 days on and off with v. painful contractions. DS was OP too. It is very wearing. Just try and rest whenever you can. Your body is doing what it needs to do.

If it's any consolation, it didn't get progressively more painful, the contractions eventually got more and more frequent and the birth itself was lovely!

How are you doing MummyB?

Hope you're progressing, same thing happened to me, I was fine once they let me have the gas and air! It was hard, I think mainly due to lack of sleep and not knowing what was happening. Seems to happen to quite a few women, but not much talked about usually. Good luck!

Happened to me too - 3 days slow labour at home, honestly it was as painful as it got all the way through.

I couldn't sit/lie and so couldn't sleep - DH and my mum took it in turns to sit up with me overnight which was nice.

Baths were good and I did doze off in the bath between contractions. Worried I would be too tired for 'proper' labour but it was fine in the end and actually quite easy and nice (but not OP so I know not the same).

I had my TENS machine on right from the start and I really think it helped.

Hope you're doing OK, not long until you meet your wee one.

Agree with sofasurfer.

I think it's an incredibly common start to labour, but we don't tend to hear much about it, and also all those telly programmes where the mother suddenly has a massive contraction and delivers within 5 minutes don't help!

My first baby was poorly positioned, and it doesn't help. Also, as many others have pointed out, labour doesn't follow a consistent pattern. Those first few cm may take forever, but then you might find you dilate the last 5 cm or more really quickly. I remember feeling very despondent after being in the MLU for hours, and having dilated only 1 cm since coming in, but then I suddenly dilated several cm quite quickly.

Keeping mobile is paramount. A baby doesn't stay passive during labour - so the more you can keep mobile and helping it to hopefully move into a better position, the easier it should be in the long run.

sounds just like mine was, and I can say those first few days of early labour were the worst (mentally, not the pain though). DD was also back to back, when they finally broke my waters, the contraction came fast and hard, but as I knew I was actually finally getting there, I was OK.

The being tired before it really threw me out and you can only walk around so long (trying to make it happen, grrr, wish I had saved my energy).

You'll be fine, it will be a daze soon enough. I know similar people who had an epidural just to get some sleep/rest. Personally I wished I had saved the time I spent being mobile, just in an upright position (toilet was great) so I had more energy to try different positions at the end.

If they break your waters, just have any pain relief you might want ready before hand

Of course looking at the time, LO may already be here.

I find it doesn't get talked about, as it gets dismissed as exaggerating.

good luck