Dad at birth

[hazchem]

I'm wondering if anyone has had thier own father at thier babies birth.
I'm planning a home birth with my partner there and my mum.
Both my mum and dad are flying over from Oz. My dad hasn't asked to be at the birth but I'm wondering if he might be good for me and my partner
My dad has helped at quite a fews so would be able to help my partner help me if that makes sense.
I'm 50 50 each way on inviting him.
am i being a bit weird?

...yes!! Would never have my dad on mine and I do love him to bits!!

Hazchem, mine has been at the birth of all my children although only in spirit I'm afraid. He died the year D1 was born.

I had an excellent relationship with my father and trusted him implicitly. He would have been brilliant and just been there for me.

I made the mistake of telling my Mum (who I did not want at the births) that if Dad was here I would want him at the birth as was not sure how DH would cope. She took this to mean really that I wanted her there, and was actually quite upset then that I did not ask her to be there even to the point of asking me on a number of occasions if she could be there. Aaargh.

Yes ask him if you have that kind of supportive relationship. Not sure in what capacity he has helped but if you want him there ask him. I would have if I could. Good luck I had two homebirths and they were wonderful.

I didn't but if you're close to your dad it might help you and your dp to have him there. As you're having a homebirth I assume he'd be in the house anyway so you could just wait and see how you feel at the time and ask him to come into the room where you're giving birth if you decide you want him there.

Fwiw I'm normally quite shy and reserved but when I was in labour I could not have cared less who saw me naked so don't let embarrassment get in the way of your decision.

my dad would be hopeless. he faints at the sight of blood!!! my mum would of driven me crazey and i wouldn't of relaxed.
as it happened with ds1 it was just me,a trained mid wife and a mid wife in training. this was fab( hubby in navy and missed it all by 8 hrs one of my best friends missed it by 5 miutes!)
with ds2 it was mid wife, me and dh( just he turned up 27 hrs before labour started!!). both were quick births and i was very relaxed with both.
if you are happy with your dad being there then go ahead

How do you think your dad would cope with seeing you in pain? I think my dad would love to be at the birth (and would probably drive me insane with his astrological theories and acupressure rememdies) but when the real pain came he'd be so worried that he'd distract me and I'd be so caught up thinking about his feelings that it'd put me off. Men aren't great at the pain thing, but if you think your dad could cope, then it could be really special.

No you are not weird, my dad was at dd birth 5 years ago, my mum sadly died from lung cancer when I was pregnant so it was a really nice to focus on something positive ans for my dad to be included plus he wasn't at my birth as he is quite old fasioned so I think he really wanted the opportunity to witness a birth.

thanks all so much for your comments and stories. It's is really encourgaing to hear other peoples stories.

I saw my dad support my mum through a very long labour with my brother as well another birth that my mum, myself and my dad all attended. (I guess we are a family of doulas!)

My parents will be about 15 minutes walk away when they are here (our second bedroom is just two small for a double bed) so maybe i could see how i feel on the day.

It's still so far off. End of Feb.

My Dad is a GP so I joked he could deliver baby if it quick (they were staying when DS1 (DC2) was born. My mum pointed out he'd be no use at all as other than her births he hadn't seen any since he was a junior doctor.

I wouldn't have minded him being there if my mum was anyway, but might have been a bit about him seeing me with no clothes on. I would have minded him seeing me otherwise though.

I would say to him (or your mum) that he's very welcome to be in the house, even if its just to make you all tea and he shouldn't feel that he's banned from the room you are labouring in. He might not be comfortable watching. So not inviting him, but making it clear he doesn't need to wait outside.

It depends. I have a great relationship with my Dad, but occasionally he still has a tendency to "Dad" me. He's mostly great at remembering that I'm an adult now and can run my own life, but I suppose that he looked after me for so long that it's not surprising that he slips sometimes and tries to guide or coach me. If he had been at my labours and tried to instruct me, I would have exploded with rage, I think. I just wouldn't want someone there who hadn't been through it themselves, and possibly felt the authority to tell me what to do.

But then, I wouldn't have wanted my Mum there either, because she would have been so distressed at seeing me in pain that she would have been useless. Probably worse than useless, as she had two pretty traumatic births herself and would have been angst-ridden at seeing me go through something similar.

I think I'd say yes, if and only if my dad was an obstetrician. Given that he's a retired pub landlord, that'd be no.

bag ofholly i bet your dad would be an expert at wetting the babies head!

I think it could be very distressing for a mum or dad to watch their daughter in so much pain. It's hard enough for the partners.

I know two sisters who've had their dad there with them at their births.

Their dad was quite young, and a professional women's football coach. They said he was AMAZING and they were thrilled to have him there.

My dad (bless him - died earlier this year ) would have found it very distressing.