If you had a shite birth- please please complain about it!

[Thandeka]

I did and just got my letter response (DD is 9months though - (lots of misdirected mail issues apparently and to be fair I didn't even send my letter til DD was 3 months).

They have acknowledged every single one of my concerns and are putting procedures in place so hopefully things like what happened to me won't happen to other women. It has even gone to the chief exec (though I only complained to head honcho in midwifery).

It has helped me enormously towards "closure"
plus I really hope it makes a difference for other women.

I should have complained about my treatment after a miscarriage. Seven years on I still regret not doing it

Thats great. Well done and I am glad you got things resolved. What sort of things happenned to you?

hideous horrificness
left on own for long periods
failed cannulas
failed epidurals
failed ventouse
forceps and episiostomy
on back in stirrups to push having not eaten for 24hours
can't get 9.5lb baby out
DD is oxygen starved on NICU for a week post delivery having spinal taps, ECG's MRIs for suspected brain damage.
No help with breastfeeding (proudest achievement in life is that am still breastfeeding my DD)
EVIL EVIL BITCH midwife told me off for crying, said had PND, gave me dangerously inaacurate advice about breastfeeding my tube fed daughter.

Whole experience was simply horrible.

I should also have complained and maybe even had a case against the hospital - DD was also oxygen deprived and has long term problems as a result. I was similarly told to 'just deal with it and stop crying' by doctors and nurses and DD developed an eye infection through neglect in NICU.

However, for me writing a letter would be out of the question as I can't think about those awful days in hospital so my way of dealing with things is to try and move on. Well done for writing your letter AND getting a response and I hope it does help to improve procedures and practice in hospitals.

So sorry to hear you and your dd had such an awful time.

I made a complaint about ds's birth, it was nowhere near as bad as what happened to you but it was traumatic in its own way and it could have been much calmer. I still haven't heard anything back but I'm glad I did it and I agree that women should complain when midwives make mistakes or things never change.

Such a good thing you did this. It's not just the medical mistakes that are made - it's the unkindness that's unacceptable too.

Hope your dd is doing well now, and fantastic that you are still bf her after such a difficult start.

I never dared complain cos I always imagined the response would be along the lines of; 'you've got a healthy baby so you've got nothing to complain about'. My midwife was so 'cold' and unsupportive. It is great that you were able to find the emotional strength to make a complaint Thandeka. x

Good on you! Women are totally vulnerable and disempowered when in agony and safeguards need to exist so that crap decisions are not made or forced on people. The number of shit births I have heard of has got me terrified of delivering my son due next month. If everyone just accepts a shitty service then nothing changes for other women and this is one of the most important times of your life and is not to be ruined by incompetence. If it was any other area of medicine people would be in huge shit when things went wrong.

Is 6 months too long to leave it? It was only one person but what they did probably changed the course of my whole delivery and may be the reason I ended up with EMCS :(

Maninthemooncup I left it longer than that, ds was 10mo when I complained. Good luck!