Anyone take their mum in as well as their husband?

[lennon80]

I am thinking of having my mother in the delivery with me and was wondering if other people did this and how they felt about it. I am wondering if I will feel additional anxiety as my mum has not seen my 'down there' since I was a little girl. Of course I know I wont give a damn when in active Labour but just wondering other peoples thoughts and experiences with this before I make a decision. Just to add I am very close to my mum. Thanks.

[CurlyCasper]

I did and they were both amazing. As well as supporting me, they were there for each other. I hope it can be repeated if there is a next time. (Mum had to drive five hours in the night to be there!)

[saoirse86]

I had my mum and DP at the birth of my DD. I hadn't planned to have my mum there but she came round (I really can't remember what for) just as I was going into the hospital so she was able to drive us there and my partner could come straight in with me and didn't have to worry about parking. I'd been having contractions for 48 hours at that point so DP was really tired and I think he needed the support as well.
I'm very close to my mum but she has obviously not seen my bits since I was a child either. TBH at that stage of labour I really didn't care. She saw me bleed all over the house, in her car, on the floor in the delivery room, she saw my poo myself several times, but I really didn't care!
If you think she'll be a good support to you and your partner's happy about it then have her there. If you want her to leave at any point then hopefully she is one person who won't take that personally if you tell her get out.

[Tootlesmummy]

I think if I was having a natural delivery and my mum had been there I would have got stage fright and he wouldn't have come out.

I can't imagine anything worse.

[MummyQueenofPutridFleshandGore]

I was lucky enough to be at my my first grandchilds birth.I was very concerned about seeing my daughter in pain ,but strangely when the time came i was fine.Probably because my DD was panicking enough.I am proud to say that i saw my beautiful gd when she was only a head [hgrin]and i was second to hold her because dd,s partner was too scared to at first.

[Kateaw]

I would have loved my mother to be there and she would have come if I'd asked her. As it was she couldn't come anyway as my dad had a heart attack about a month before :(

So my mother-in-law asked if she could be there! I knew DH (most squeamish bloke on the planet) might not cope, reluctantly I said yes, so she could be there for him.

She learnt some new words that day

[RoxieP]

I really want my mum to be there as we are very close and I think I would be reassured having her there as she's been through it all before. Also my DP nearly faints at the sight of anything slightly bloody/gory on the TV so he will probably be about as much use as a chocolate teapot...

He says that it's not fair on his mum but it's hardly the same is it? She came with us for one of my scans and I felt uncomfortable with my bare belly out, let alone anything else!

[MummyB2010]

I have to say I'm slightly envious of the mother daughter relationships being described here. There is NO WAY I could stand my mum at the delivery. As much as I love her, i imagine she would end up totally taking over and driving me and DH completely crazy.

I want to share the birth of our first child with DH alone, but I totally understand it's a personal preference.

A friend of mine is very very close to her mum and asked her to be at the birth along with her DH. To my surprise, her mum actually said 'no' and that she thought it should be about her daughter and her DH, that she believed in her, knew she could do it and would be right round the corner if she needed her. I personally agree with that and really admired her mum for this.

But I guess it depends on what your DH is like in a crisis!

[lennon80]

RoxieP Your DP needs to realise having your mother there is a far cry from having your MIL there. In fact I would choose about 50 other people before I would want my MIL there and looking at my bits..no thanks!

MummyB2010 Gosh your poor friend, I would be really upset if my mum said no. My mum sees it as a privilege and wants to be there to support her baby (me) and she wants to be there to look after DH too as she thinks of him as her son. I think that mum was mean saying no, she is being patronising to say it is between her and DH, surely that is a decision for your friend to make?

[RoxieP]

I think my mum would love to be there but doesn't want to tread on my DPs toes - but I know if we both say it's fine she will be there with bells on!

[lennon80]

RoxieP I think any good mother would be there if her daughter asked. Lots of my friends took their mothers in as well as their husbands, I cant see why not if that is what you want. Your mum sounds quite sensitive about it all, and so she wouldnt step on your DP's toes by the sound of it and would only probably get involved when she felt she needed to or you needed her to. I didnt ask DH I just told him, at the end of the day it is me giving birth so I will have my mother there even if he wasnt keen (which of course is not the case as they get on great).

I would be heartbroken to think my mother was patronising enough to say it was a time for her and DH, I think that is a cop out personally?

[linziluv]

My mum was there for my first and will defo be there for 2nd!! She was bloody fantastic! Plus she's a nurse so that made it even better! My partner was shite in early labour, dismissing my contractions entirely so mum kept me company for the first 12 hours (of a 40 hr labour)...he even complained in hospital that he was bored and tired!!! ...he wasn't fantastic in late stages either asking completely useless questions most of the time.
I'm having this one at home (all being well) so would like my sister at the birth (I was present at my niece's birth) too, along with mum and my partner...although I anticipate him spending more time flicking thru sky!!...he's probs best outta the way anyway!