Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

ELCS after 3rd degree tear

5 replies

Dee78 · 01/10/2010 11:12

I had my DS at 42+1 after a 26hr labour. He was a planned home birth that ended up in hospital with a drip, failed ventouse and keillands and simpsons forceps in theatre as he was back to back and had his chin sticking out. I ended up with an episiotomy turning into a 3rd degree tear.

My son was battered and bruised and still has a scar under his eye form the forceps and he had a huge caput on his head for ages. All in all it was quite a traumatic delivery and although I am currently booked for another homebirth, due to continuing faecal incontinence issues several midwives have informed me that at my 20 week consultant appointment I'll be recommended to go for a section.

My problem is although I accept the birth I had and in fact felt completely informed and respected at every point, the post natal care I received was horrendous. I was threatened by a midwife that my 8lb14 baby with an apgar score of 10 would get brain damage if I did not top him up with formula, I was prevented from breast feeding except from once every four hours, the midwive once in the night took my baby away to top him up with formula and never brought him back and when I went looking for him half an hour later a strange woman not in uniform in the staff room was holding him and complained that I wanted him back. They tried to give me heparin that was for another patient and for two days had two drug charts running for me.

The point is every time I think of having to stay alone in this hospital I start crying. Our hospital will let partners stay over if you are in your own room but section patients have to spend the first night on a ward. Has anyone heard of people being allowed to stay in their own room from the first night and can anyone help me come up with arguments as to why they should let me please?

I have posted this on the end of the ELCS after trauma thread so sorry to re-post but I'm just constantly crying now and unable to sleep so could really do with any advice.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bigstripeytiger · 01/10/2010 11:19

That sounds awful.
Did you make a complaint about the care that you recieved? If so then that might make them more careful.

Are there any other hospitals near you that you could go to?

If you do have to go to that hospital again maybe you could make out a plan for how you want to be cared for in hospital (things like 'I do not want to be offered formula unless my baby has been assessed by a paediatrician and it is felt necessary for my babies health.')

It is also possible to stay in hospital for a short time. I left hospital the day after both my sections, as I thought that I would get better care at home.

Good luck.

Dee78 · 01/10/2010 11:39

I didn't make a complaint at the time as I just wanted to get out of there. My mum kept telling me to complain but I think I just wanted to forget about it. Apparently I can sit with a midwife and go through my notes as I had a traumatic birth but it's not the birth I have a problem with, it's the aftercare so I don't know if this would help. I do intend to do this after my consultant appointment though.

The other hospital nearby is apparently just as crap and ours is the only one that lets partners stay over so I don't think that would help as I think I'd be just as worried if left on my own there.

I'm just hoping they'll let my husband stay over but don't know how realistic this is

OP posts:
bigstripeytiger · 01/10/2010 12:13

It might help - you could go over the aftercare bit too, and they could explain things to you (dont know if that would help or not), but the midwife might be able to help you with a plan for your wishes for your aftercare. IF you have it written down then that might helo you if you are feeling pressured once you have had the section.

Dee78 · 01/10/2010 12:21

Thats a good idea, if they are willing to do this. I think it would make me feel a lot more prepared. I'm concerned they'll just deny it all though.

OP posts:
Dee78 · 01/10/2010 20:15

I have arranged an appointment with the midwives to discuss this for next week, has anyone any ideas what I can realistically ask them to commit to?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page