Homebirth - helping older child understand?

[JumpJockey]

I'm currently 20 weeks with dc2 and dd will be 2 + 2 months-ish when the baby arrives. We had dd at home and it was brilliant so am hoping to do the same again. At the moment we're thinking about what childcare for her if it's during the day, and have several people lined up willing to look after her. But, it's likely that the labour might start quite fast (she was 10 hours from first twinge to being born, of which I was asleep for the first 4...) so does anyone have any suggestions of ways to prepare her for how I might behave in early labour?

Ideally we don't want her in the room in case it's scary, but it's possible she might end up being there, in which case it would be really handy to have been able to give her an idea of what to expect. She loves picture books and we've got one on the new baby already, are there any good home birth for kids books? Thanks!

Hello Baby by Jenni Overend and Julie Vivas -
It will be perfect!!

Don't worry too much about your DD being there, I was initially worried and my DD slept through it all!!

Hi JJ, I'm thinking about this too as I also had a mega quick labour! I'm hoping it'll be in the night too and I won't be mooing too loud again (as I did the first time ) enough to wake T, but I do have a god friend who T knows well who will be on standby, either to take him out if it gets too much, or just play in a different room.
I like the idea of him being there, but also kind of like the thought of having some time just us with new bubs without having to look after a toddler too...

Another vote for Hello Baby here (it's also sometimes titled Welcome with Love). It doesn't depict a home scenario that most modern children would identify with (hippyish home birth in a cabin in the woods-type thing) but it's so, so lovely.

Another one is My Brother Jimi Jazz, which depicts a family preparing for a home birth.

Thanks for the suggestions, will look for that book then. loopy that's a gorgeous pic :)

I guess the not knowing how I'll behave is part of the concern - last time it was all very quick and relatively easy and there wasn't a vast amount of bleeding. My worry would be that this time it might be more painful or bloody and that I wouldn't necessarily want her to see that. Not sure how muich they remember from when they're 2!

Thats lovely.

DS age 8 was dead keen to be present for the birth of his brother or sister. I think we've now persuaded him its best not to.

I have compromised by saying yes he can come and inspect the placenta afterwards.

he is fascinated by the whole process.

...and meet the baby, obviously!

Good luck, JumpJockey!
I've just ordered that book too, my DD will be 2y3m when DC2 arrives hopefully in about 8 weeks time. Not sure how I'm going to manage to read it to her though as I got a lump in my throat just looking at the cover..

Loopy - your pic is fab too, also brought tears to my eyes.

I quite like the idea of DD being there in the room, providing she is OK with it. I guess we will have to have someone on standby to look after her if not though, if she either gets bored or upset. The only person we could really use for this is my mum though and I'm not sure how comfortable I'll be labouring with her in the house (she lives a couple of hours away) even if she is upstairs.
My current plan is to hope it goes really quickly and smoothly so we don't have time to sort anything / get my mum down :)

We've booked the same doula we had when dd was born, so she can help look after dd if (eg) it's in the middle of the night and she wakes up.

PinkElephant - sounds like a doctor in the making there!

I had a surprise homebirth. DS was in bed and sat with grandad (who just got round in time) talking about fireworks (I had ds2 on 6th Nov) DS1 thought I was having a big poo and wasn't worried at all! Lovely that they got to meet straight after the birth