Imminent birth abroad - when should family visit?

[Yika]

I'm a few days overdue and booked for an induction in 3 days' time if my baby (first one) doesn't appear spontaneously.

I live in Belgium where the normal hospital stay is 5 days.

my mum will come while I'm still in hospital, but I don't know what to suggest to others e.g. brother and his family. (They've said they will come whenever convenient to me, for a weekend visit.)

Is it worth me saying to come while I'm still in hospital, or shall I wait till I'm back home (in which case I could already agree a date with them now and they can book it). Seems to me the latter makes more sense, as we'd be able to do more together, go for walks with baby etc.

Of course we don't absolutely have to decide now but it would make things slightly easier for me to have an idea in advance. They are about 5 hours' drive away.

I'm also a single mum and don't know how much the baby's father will be around in the first few days.

I should also add that while I'm normally very close to my family, I've been going through an extremely stressful time emotionally and in this instance they are not necessarily the ones I would turn to for support (though I'll still be glad to see them).

Any thoughts/similar experiences appreciated.

My mum came over after 3 weeks (I'm in NL) and she stayed in a hotel. That was soon enough and having her in a hotel meant she wasn't "in my face". However, I had a c-section, kraamzorg and a partner to help. If you end up having a c-section then you may welcome the extra help with open arms - is your mum's schedule flexible?

Thansk a lot. I think something like that would probably work for me too. (Had to look up 'kraamzorg' which sounds like a fab arrangement! yes, my mum could be flexible if I ended up having a c-section.

I'm in Spain. My parents came over on day 4 when I was at home, but they didn't stay with us. Really useful though as they took over the cooking / provisioning / cleaning, so dh and I could concentrate on baby and sleep. I think my dad went home after 4 days and my mum stayed on for another week.

Then my sister came to stay (this time in our flat) in week three, and again it was great to have someone to take care of cooking etc, especially as dh had gone back to work by then.

How supportive do you think they will be? Do you feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of them? Are they the type to tell you "sit down and relax, I'll make you a cup of tea", or would you be up making them something to eat? Would they pitch in and push the hoover around? How well do they get on in Belgium language-wise?

Basically, this is the time when you have to be a bit selfish. You will need to SLEEP, feed baby, eat food (often one handed while feeding baby)... you may be feeling a bit fragile both physically and emotionally. So make your decision based on what you REALLY feel you would like.

FWIW my best friend offered to come and stay in the fist month and I put her off as even though we've known each other for years I kneqw that I would feel I "owed" her a good trip abroad, and so would want to go out etc.

Hi there,

They are pretty supportive and we all muck in once in each other's houses so hopefully I will be able to send them to the shops/get them cooking etc.

They can all muddle through with French but Brussels is great for that as everyone (even the people on the checkout at the supermarket) speaks English!

yes it's not quite the same wiht friends, is it? I think I also wouldn't want a friend to stay although a few have very kindly volunteered.

Sounds like your family were very supportive!

Still no baby then (have you got tired of that question yet?!

Have you come to any decision yet?

btw when I was bored and overdue I cooked up a load of bolognaise sauce and froze it in portions. It was great for my first "solo meals", when it was just me and the baby. I just had to heat it up and bung it on some toast. So my advice is to cook a bit for the freezer if you have the energy now

Hi there Cies - no, no baby - I'm now 8 days overdue and very bored! Induction booked for tomorrow but I'm having some twinges now so I think things are starting to move at last! (I went to the gym to help things along :o)

Yes I did come to a decision - my mum will come on my last day in hospital and help with the transition home. Rest of family will come and visit in a couple of weeks' time, so that we can actually spend time together as opposed to them just visiting in the hosptial for an hour.

I might go and make some bolognese sauce now, that's a great idea!

Oh Good luck Yika

Littlemad was born in NL and I agree about the Kramzoorg - she was amazing (also kicked exh's butt a bit as well!)

My Mum and Sis had 2 trips where they were practically on the plane thinking I was in labour (actually at the airport) in the end my lovely Sister BIL and DN came the day afterwards and came to the hospital and Mum and Dad arrived at the house exactly (they timed ringing the doorbell to the minute!) a week after littlemad was born.

At the time I wasn't that close to them either, but it's amazing the power of a newborn baby.

Hope you have a blissful time with your new bundle.