Birth after a previous back to back..how does it compare?

[ldeeanna]

Hello, I hope you can help me. I had a baby in November and went through a traumatic labour, 36 hours long ending up with an emergency caesarean. She was back to back and the pain has scared me so much that as much as I want to have another baby one day..I think I will never have the guts. I think if I was pregnant then I would probably live in fear. Also my friend had a stillbirth two days after me and so as much as I am so lucky to have my baby..I now asscociate pregnancy and labour with general doom.
Is labour after a back to back birth miles easier..I heard it is, I'm living on that hope. I have searched for threads to find out but without luck. Or is the pain no different and I am just giant baby?
I really want to go over my birth notes but no one will help me..they never get back to me. I lost a lot of blood in the caesarean and the epidural wasn't strong enough so I felt the pain of the operation and it was dreadful..part of me wonders if they do not want me to see the notes because they are hiding something or they have just written 'this girl is a pain in the arse'!!! I am enjoying being a mum so much but I am just full of questions that I don't think is healthy! Thank you for reading this.

I had a 42hr first labour with mal-positioned baby, ending in emCS which unfortunately did not go smoothly and I ended up having a GA and baby going off up to SCBU. It was all a bit of a mess really. I employed the services of an independent midwife for second baby, and intended to have a normal hospital birth with IM as a supporter. As it was, second baby just popped out in the corner of the bedroom about 4 hrs after I was deliberating whether I was in labour or whether it was the same stomach bug my daughter had!

What happens in one labour and birth is no real indicator for what can happen in subsequent births.

Thank you so much-just to hear those two stories makes me feel miles better that it could be less painful next time. What is a GA? Sounds horrific..I was lucky that my baby was ok. Thanks again for taking the time to reply, I will keep those quick birth stories in my mind!!!

GA = general anaesthetic. There were complications with my CS and the spinal block was beginning to wear off (I didn't feel any pain but the sensation was starting to come back in my legs,) so the anaesthetist knocked me out - I didn't get much more than a minute or so notice that this was going to happen!

I found the services of an independent midwife to be absolutely priceless second time round. Many people associate them with homebirths only, but the 3 IMs I had the pleasure of working with were happy to involved in a plan for a hospital birth yet sprang into action brilliantly when it became clear my second baby was in much more of a hurry than his sister! You will probably find an IM in your area who would be happy (obviously for a fee, though) to go through your notes and discuss what happened last time and how it was unusual.

yes, a non back to back birth can be much much easier. the pain is not really comparable tbh (well for me neway) i found the 2nd one so much easier, so much quicker and the contractions have a proper start and stop to them with a slight break in between like how you normally hear them described unlike the back to back constant no stop pain and slowww progression.
my 2nd one i was so surprised how easy he was, because with my first one even to get to 3cm was so painful and after that i just had an epidural but it took days and me & baby both ended up quite unwell afterwards due to how long it took. 2nd one just seemed so amazingly simple and easy compared to that.
maybe try to contact them again about your notes though, it could help to go through them. that is really bad to be able to feel the csection operation!!!

I hate to say this but apparently having 1 back to back makes it very likely that you will have another one.
HOWEVER I have a different story, back to back labour where I got to 5cm without a bother, then waters broken and dear god the pain was horrific. Then i got the epidural, and DD born 3 hours later with episiotomy but nothing major so its not always a horror story.,

my second baby was back to back and it was a fine 6 hour labour!

so, it doesn't have to be terrible, even if the next baby is OP.

the pain of a non back to back labour i wouldn't say is easier. it's very different though.

my third was out in 45 minutes

oh and i also had a hideous painful first labour which i totally didn't cope with

second one (which was the back to back one) i had no pain relief, and it was all just fine

so really honestly, your first birth experience doesn't have any bearing on subsequent ones IME

DS1 was back-to-back, 48 hrs, terrible pain with no rest between contractions, needed epidural and ventouse.

When pg with DS2 I didn't lean back for the entire nine months and bounced on my birth ball every bloody evening, no way was I letting him turn round the wrong way. He wasn't back-to-back and although still painful as fuck it was a much better labour.

DS1 wasn't back to back - birth was fine. Gas and air and massage only.

DS2 - back to back - horribly painful and traumatic with failure to progress resulting in forceps with spinal. No comparison IMO.

My 1st was btb, horrendous, long and assisted. My 2nd was also btb, much quicker, very painful, also assisted. My 3rd was btb but turned in the pool during labour, a dream compared to the others.

I also had a back to back with DS1, 53 hours of horrific pain, took 36 hours to get to 2.5cm!!!! My contractions at that point were 90sec long with only a 5/10sec gap. Went in for emCS as his heart almost stopped but managed to deliver with ventouse and forceps (despite the full spinal). Was in recovery for days and could barely breastfeed.

Anyway, I forgot all that!! And I did spend my entire 2nd pregnancy either stood up, sitting bolt upright or lying on my front/side to avoid him being back to back.

DS2 was a 3 hour labour, barely felt the contractions and pushed him out in under 5mins with no need for pain relief. DH has a short video of me informing the midwife this was a piece of p**s compared to my first.

This thread is lovely to read! We are ttc number 2 and a second b2b labour would be my worst nightmare.

Thanks for starting it ideeanna. If you found the birth traumatic I would definately recommend getting hold of your notes and talking through them with a midwife. I think you need to contact the information officer at the hospital and they will send you a form for you to request your notes. I think you usually have to pay (I did for mine - £50) but it was money well spent.

I ended up asking a midwife friend to go through my notes with me and it was hugely helpful although quite emotional.

Good luck

p.s. I said the same as you, I will never be able to have another. I can't face another labour or traumatic birth. I read Sheila Kitzinger's book Birth Crisis which helped too (you can read bits of it on Amazon).

My DD is 20 months now and I feel like I can face doing it again. But this time I know more about birth, I understand why mine turned out the way it did and I have somethings to try to avoid a second birth going the same way.

Deal with the last birth before worrying about the next. (((hugs)))

My first baby was back to back, my 2nd wasn't. The pain was no different, but the labour was a quarter of the length of the first so a lot more bearable!!

Have you thought about taking HypnoBirthing classes? to help you to understand your last birth and prepare positively for this one?

Also if you want to discuss your previous birth you can call Sheila Kitzinger (or another volunteer) via the Birth Crisis helpline. Would be well worth doing, or a volunteer from the Birth Trauma Organisation.

This is a really helpful thread thank you Ideeanna - I came on specifically to look for something like this and hope you don't mind if I hijack slightly...

Am having a massive meltdown at home at the moment as I'm 40+4, and my first labour was back-to-back, 33 hours and horrific, virtually no break between contractions in last ten hours, was totally disorientated and sick, and can't bear the thought of it again. I've been doing all the right exercises and keeping my posture good at all times, and last week I was told the baby was in perfect birthable position. Although I've been having sleepless nights thinking about labour, I just kept telling myself it was bound to be better as the position is better this time. This morning I've been told that the baby has now turned back-to-back. I am terrified.

The midwife saw how horrified I was at the news (sounds melodramatic but I totally crumpled and had to stop myself from being sick) and said that I should go for a second consultant's appointment on Thursday 30th on her suggestion of a caesarean. What I'd really like to know is how I can make sure labour doesn't start before then My theory at the moment is that my anxiety has made me late this time, but I don't know if I will be able to hold out or not.

Sorry for the hijack, and getting back to the point, Ideeanna, I really hope you get given a useful appointment to discuss your birth, as it sounded very traumatic and there is definitely a service available for you. If it happens that you do decide to get pregnant before getting this appointment, I'm sure your midwife would refer you with no delay, but I understand why this would be the wrong way around for you!

On my other note - does anyone know how to prevent the onset of labour? [desperate face]

You poor thing! I've not read the whole thing so I may be repeating what others have said.

First - if you've had one section then your consultant will almost certainly back you up if you wanted to go for an elective next time. They may even recommend that you do.

Second - I've had 3 labours. The last one was back to back and it was the shortest but most painful of the three. If it was like mine then I don't think you're a wuss at all. I have never felt the need for an epidural before but this time I desperately wanted one (though it never happened ).

Why don't you ask your gp to talk you through what might happen if you had another? Do you think this could be some post traumatic thing? Perhaps you could ask about counselling?

My first was back to back. Was prepped for an emergency section after 17 hours but consultant managed to turn her in theatre and got her out with ventouse.

Second baby was well positioned. Spent final 6 weeks on all fours as much as poss to make sure (I did not want another back to back)! Delivered her in around three hours with a bit of gas and air. It was intense but the pain with her never reached anything near the pain with DD1 (and I had an epidural with her!). Was a very positive experience. I would go as far as to say I actually enjoyed giving birth to her in a weird kind of way.

With my third, she kept turning in labour. I told them she'd gone back to back. I recognised the pain straight away and pretty much demanded an epidural straight away.

I completely understand why you're scared. Back to back labour is horrific. Please don't let it put you off having more though.

FWIW, slightly different aspect here! DD1 was the right way round but came out with fists under her chin which gave me really nasty back ache and was really painful, MW said it would have been like a back to back baby. DD2 was back to back, came out back to back and didn't hurt as much, no back ache! I had SPD which helps apparently as pelvis more stretchy, but still, considering I ran out of gas and air just before I had to push... now that was painful but no backache was fantastic. I had both at home and DD2 in water. DD2 labour half time of DD1, recovery faster, just better (apart from gas n air issue).

I have a qestion, DD was back to back long labour end in forcepts delivery. I felt almost all of the pain in my back.

I'm currently 37+5 week's with seconed, if baby isn't back to back where do you feel the pain is it in your tummy? Just want to know as now worring I woun't realise when I'm in labour.

I can't believe what I'm reading...its soo helpful. After giving birth to my son 21 months ago and now 6 months pregnant I've been under the illusion that either I was a complete wimp in my first labour or that just that all labour would be horrendous. 48 hours of absolute torture with a back to back birth of which I was unaware until the last few hours.Two epidurals as the first came out, unsympathetic midwives, a doctor that suggested that I wasn't contracting so couldn't have been in so much pain so early on...blah blah.. it was the most traumatic experience of mine and my husbands life. BUT now reading these posts..there is hope! I identify with so many of you posting and feel well repreived and well that I'm actually looking forward to the next labour. Ive got up from my reclined position and am now going to spend the next three months making sure the little un is blooming in theright position!!!!

ideanna contact the PALS service of the hospital where you had your baby and ask them to put you in touch with the head of midwifery - they shoulkd make arrangements for you to go through your notes to understand what happened (at no charge)

Had back to back labour with DS and it ended in emcs...am 15 weeks with DC2 and determined to try everything to keep this one in optimal position for birth

Am not currently doing anything special as I think its too early (although am walking to and fro school twice a day which can only be a positive thing). WHen do I need to start doing the sitting forward/birth ball thing?

How will I know if this one goes back to back?