Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Clitoral stimulation during labour

127 replies

chrispt · 22/09/2010 01:01

Hi all

I'm a Dad to be (7th Oct)and have been researching all sorts of subjects with regards to natural pain relief for my wife. In my searches (from the run of the mill to the bizarre) i found one which, although not popular in all circles, intrigued me and inspired me to ask for thoughts.

Who has used clitoral stimulation during labour? Not necessarily to orgasm but as a distraction. Did it help? Anything that flagged up as better than other methods?

This will be our first child so we are planning on going to hospital.

I would assume the increase in oxytocin would help along with massage and breathing.

Any feedback would be gratefully received.

Many thanks
Chris

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
motherinferior · 23/09/2010 23:34

Oh, and you ask about alternatives - let me recommend (a) a hot water bottle - it may be quite useless, my first labour was only helped by walking up and down (for hours. And hours. And really quite a lot more hours), but in my second it was really helpful wedged into the small of my back (b) drugs. They give you lovely drugs. Gas and air. Have a quick toke if you're looking round a labour ward in any case. Nothing quite like drugs, really, for pain relief in labour.

Original poster
chrispt · 24/09/2010 11:47

Wow, What a response!

Of course, i have chatted to my wife about this and we've gone down the route of whatever feels right at the time will feel right at the time.

We didn't want to rule out something that could help, just because we felt it was embarrassing.

I was just wondering if any of the ladies on here had tried it and whether they felt the pain relief was effective.

Keep posting, but i hope my good intentions don't land me with a broken nose from an anonymously offended mum ! :)

Many thanks

Chris

OP posts:
pluperfect · 24/09/2010 13:34

Brave man. This kind of questioning and supportive attitude will stand you in good stead in the delivery, no matter what. Sometimes you need to do a bit of hustling in your/DW's/DC's interests, and she will be a bit busy!

MollysChambers · 24/09/2010 13:47

Snort.

Natural pain relief is a glorious idea in whatever form it may come (ahem, no pun intended). However I found childbirth hurts like a motherfucker. Don't rule out the drugs.

narmada · 24/09/2010 14:07

OP, you are not a troll. Apologies. But you did make me laugh. And. Just. NO!

Marjee · 24/09/2010 16:27

Dh gave me a nice neck and shoulder massage in early labour, that was really relaxing and may have sped things up (I had a very fast labour) but I definitely was in no mood to let him fiddle anywhere else! If you're both willing to try it can't do any harm but be prepared for her to swear at you!

I'm quite suprised at the number of women here who didn't like their back being rubbed - I still have scars on my back from where dh rubbed the skin off and I was still screaming at him to rub harder! Blush

sanfairyann · 24/09/2010 16:30

rofl

can a woman be prosecuted for GBH if she was in labour do you think?

ShatnersBassoon · 24/09/2010 16:55

"No Dr, hold off on the anaesthetic. I know a vasectomy can be painful, but a few weeks ago, my husband said he wants me to stick my little finger up his arse during surgery to see if it distracts him from the pain."

It's great that you're willing to get involved at the business end, but don't be surprised if you're given short shrift when the time comes. Rehearsals in the meantime might not be a bad idea though.

SoupDragon · 24/09/2010 17:02

"i hope my good intentions don't land me with a broken nose from an anonymously offended mum !"

Holy crap! I would seriously advise you not to try this out on an anonymous mother.

nicky80 · 24/09/2010 18:40

Ah this thread has brought a smile to my face. I do however think your wife may not be too happy about the idea of you doing that in the hospital...I mean I imagine some of the medical staff would just think you were some sort of odd pervert because I dont think that is something they see everyday. Its lovely you want to help your wife but I think unless it was a home birth this one may just be out of the question.

EdgarAllInPink · 24/09/2010 18:55

i will second smilehomebirths point - even if she has a hospital birth she may spend much of her labour at home anyway - 60% if first timers deliver at home if they have a planned HB.

My DH is totally converted to HB because is much more relaxed and he felt like he really helped me (with back rubs - really really helped with the pain)

although of coure it's up to the lady in question!

Original poster
chrispt · 24/09/2010 22:29

Hi all.

It makes me realise very few women has used this as a way of pain relief. Which surprised me since it has been shown to reduce pain very effectively. I just wanted a few first hand accounts.

I have been looking into all sorts of ways that pain can be eased. In no way did i want to come across as sex obsessed as this wasn't the aim of the stimulation.

Thank you all for your thoughts though.

We can't wait for little one to arrive and as helpless as i will be in the process, if there is ANY way i can help her through, that's what i'll do.

Kind regards

OP posts:
digggers · 24/09/2010 23:49

I used it in my labour and it did help up to a certain point. Eventually the pain got too intense for anythingto help, and I was pretty much tripping of it, out of reality. But then I had a 46 hour back to back labour with the drip for the final 3 hours. Gas and air only. Lots of nipple and clitoral stimation throughout. Feel free to ask questions

colditz · 24/09/2010 23:55

Epidural.

Seriously.

I slept while I dilated 5 - 9 centimetres.

zazen · 25/09/2010 00:06

It does work, as does nipple stimulation, but she'll probably find that she'll feel more comfortable doing it herself. She may find too many hands spoiled the birth Grin

bring a tennis ball in to rub her lower back with and also be prepared to wait outside if she wants you to - women in labour are very particular and can get annoyed and irritated by people fussing over them.

your DP may not care to have any helpless man trying his best to alleviate her pains around her at all, so you had better think about getting helpful in other ways not relating to your DP's labour, and think of practical things like stocking the fridge and deep cleaning the house.

Good luck.

motherinferior · 25/09/2010 11:37

'it has been shown to reduce pain very effectively'...I'd have to see a controlled, randomised study, of a large number of women, with comparisons to other methods of pain relief, before I was convinced, I'm afraid. A few anecdotes won't cut it.

I really do recommend gas and air. Especially when you're looking round the ward. They had to prise me off the stuff when I was looking round the labour ward in my second pregnancy. Fabulous.

Marjee · 25/09/2010 12:12

Yes gas and air is lovely! I feel quite cheated as I arrived at hospital 26 mins before ds was born so I only got to use it for a short time. Next time I'm steering well clear of the raspberry leaf tea and turning up at the first twinge!

StealthPolarBear · 25/09/2010 12:17

Nine months too late for that I think :o

Seriously, good luck to you both for the birth.

Faaamily · 25/09/2010 12:18

PMSL

Get serious.

zazen · 25/09/2010 22:13

Motherinferior, I can see your dead man's grip on the mouthpiece now!! LOL Grin

BudaisintheZONE · 25/09/2010 22:24

Go for it!

PotPourri · 25/09/2010 22:30

Have heard of a couple shagging during labour, between contractions (yes, RL)!

On this and your other pain relief idea - I think - er no!!!!!!!

PMSL!!!

Backinthebox · 25/09/2010 22:31

OP if you really want to help your wife I can recommend having a one to one active birth session (we had ours with our independent midwife.) My husband felt a bit lost during my first labour, which admittedly was 42 hrs long and he ran out of ideas as to how to help. But with our second baby he felt much more confident and was able to offer a lot of help. We both went into the birth of our second child with the idea that there were no hard and fast rules, and things that had been either helpful or useless first time round were found to have surprisingly different effects second time round.

I think it would take a brave man though to try the clitoral stimulation techique. It might work, but there are a lot of cultural ideas to overcome that will most likely make it very difficult.

piprabbit · 25/09/2010 22:41

During labour I felt, in a very real sense, that I was in the process of splitting like a ripe plum - and it hurt like hell. The idea of any additional pressure (however slight) anywhere below the waist, was terrifying.

So, not for me, despite thinking it's a top idea for dealing with migraines Grin.

marriednotdead · 25/09/2010 22:58

Have giggled my way through the first 3 pages of this thread- thanks for starting it OP.

Having had an epidural with both dcs, can confidently say that an entire box of rampant rabbits would have made no impact Grin

Prior to the epidurals kicking in, I would happpily have killed anyone who even suggested bean flicking...