OP, I was in your shoes 2 months ago. DS1 was an EMCS, I had a fairly unpleasant post-op experience and I was very keen to try for a VBAC with DS2. At 39 weeks I was told DS2 was breech. I managed to persuade a consultant to at least consider ECV, but DS2 was a whopper and in an awkward position so they felt it would put to much strain on the uterine scar (and would be unlikely to work). So I was booked for ELCS with 3 days' notice.
Like you, I was devastated. I wans't really concerned about "doing it right", but I had really wanted to avoid the consequences of another section (post-op recovery, potential breastfeeding problems, etc). Most of all I wanted the chance to experience a VB. I felt so negative about the ELCS that I even worried it would interfere with bonding with the baby.
I spent a lot of time in a head down position at home trying to get the baby to turn, and also tried moxabustion, but he stayed stubbornly breech. I did consider other options, did lots of research on the internet, and went back for weveral discussions with the obstetric team in the couple of days before the ELCS. I felt that I couldn't justify the potential risks of breech VBAC (I would have considered it if I'd had a previous VB, because then the risks are lower). I thought about waiting until I went into labour, in case the baby turned at the last minute (although I was told that this was unliely to happen), but the evidence suggests that outcomes for mother and baby are worse if CS for breech presentation is performed during labour. By the day before the ELCS, I had accepted that ELCS was the safest way for DS2 to be delivered, and felt a lot more positive about the whole idea.
I can honestly say that the ELCS was a positive experience, and very, very different from an EMCS. The whole process was much calmer, staff introduced themselves properly and had more time to explain things, there was none of the panic and drama of an EMCS. It was strange not to have any labour, and quite surreal to walk down the corridor to the theatre thinking "In half an hour's time I won't be pregnant any more and we'll have met DS2". Little things made such a difference - we were given a choice of music to play during the procedure, the screen was lowered immediately after DS2 was delivered so that I saw him as soon as possible.
Recovery was much easier and much faster compared to the EMCS. Because the surgery is elective the surgeon is able to operate more slowly, causing less trauma to the tissues and minimising blood loss, so there is less post-op pain and healing is quicker. I was walking around the next day, home after 2 days, and walked (very, very slowly) around the corner to the park on day 3. I didn't need any pain relief stronger than paracetamol and anti-inflammatories. I felt relatively normal after 3 weeks, and 8 weeks on I feel great.
I will always have a small regret that I didn't get to experience a VB (we're not planning a DC3). It is a uniquely female experience and I would have liked to have known what it felt like. There is also something exciting about waiting to go into labour, and in the element of uncertaintly about how events will turn out. I am glad that I got to experience at least the early stages of labour with DS1. I coped pretty well during DS1's labour until things went pear-shaped at 4cm, and part of the desire for VBAC with DS2 was driven by curiosity - how would I cope during the later stages of labour, pushing etc. I will never know now - but DS2 was born safely and is well, as am I, and in the end that really is all thsat matters.
In reality, given that DS2 was a hefty 9lb6oz and I am only 5'4", it is quite likely that I would have ended up with an EMCS if he had turned and I had been able to attempt VBAC. ELCS was the right choice for me and for DS2 - a different birth experience from VBAC, but also different from EMCS.
Remember that even with ELCS you should be able to have some input into the birth - e.g. what music is playing when the baby is born, how you find out the baby's sex, who holds the baby after he/she has been born and checked over, skin-to-skin, breastfeeding etc.
Sorry for the essay - I remember how upset I was when I was first faced with youruation and I hope some of this is helpful. Finally, good luck and I hope all goes well for you and your baby!