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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Childcare during birth

12 replies

mumbybumby · 19/09/2010 01:43

Hi everyone,

Not sure where to post this to be honest but I wanted to find out about options for childcare while I am in labour with my second child.

I don't live near any family and my mum is having an operation which will mean she can't come and stay with us either.

I don't know many people that well up here and the people I do know have children of their own and don't live particularly nearby.

So what are my options?

I'll only need the support during the labour/birth as DP can look after DD after that (she will be 23 months).

Thanks in advance - want to get this sorted as it is stressing me out already!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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ShinyAndNew · 19/09/2010 02:59

I believe emergency foster care can be used in situations like this. Or a local child minder maybe willing to help, if it is arranged well in advance and they get to know your dd before hand.

Otherwise check with neighbours. I have a new(ish) neighbour and had both her dds today. It's a pleasure to have then, tbh, and I am unsociable at the best of times. You might just be surprised at the number of people willing to help when children are concerned.

spinspinsugar · 19/09/2010 06:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatDamnDog · 19/09/2010 07:24

I know what you mean, we're in a sort of similar situation. I'm 39 weeks now and in the end MIL came last weekend and is staying until baby arrives, because I wasn't well for a couple of weeks and we really couldn't be sure that I wasn't going to have to have a section at short notice or was going to have to be in and out of hospital (an hour away) every couple of days until baby comes. As it stands now she's here I'm well again so I feel guilty but she's happy to stay and help with DS in the meantime. Do you have the sort of relationship with any of your in laws that would make a similar arrangement possible?

Otherwise I would talk to the friends who have their own kids - even if you don't know them well enough to just ask them to help, you could open the conversation by asking what they did when they were in the same situation, and you might get some ideas or even an offer of help! I also agree that a local childminder may be a good idea, although you would need to ensure your DD gets to know her first :)

mummytime · 19/09/2010 07:34

I've asked various friends to look after mine (not bestest friends, but just people I knew). I have also been at Toddlers when two women were agreeing to look after each others kids when each had their babies.
I have also been in the awful position of having to find someone to keep an eye on my kids, whilst I took my husband into Hospital with meningitis. In that case I had to ask someone quickly, and preferably someone who lived close. Unfortunately one of the two people I'd have asked first was having a birthday party, and the other was going to it. I ended up just asking someone I knew a bit, and she willingly took on my two who she didn't know that well for an unspecified amount of time. People really are fabulous in a crisis.

Bumperlicious · 19/09/2010 10:27

I really wouldn't worry about the ones who have kids, they are probably best placed to look after your DD, and people like being helpful.

I have stressed about this a bit though, as my friends all have really young children, so my plan is that one of a list of local friends will take DD, and then I will can my SIL who is about an hour away who can pick DD up from said friend (everyone has been issued a list with numbers and addresses ) to take her over night.

It's is stressful, and tbh that is the bit I am most worried about with regards to this impending labour.

mousymouse · 19/09/2010 10:41

you can ask around local nurseries, most offer emergency childcare for a fee.
when dd was born we had a list of possible babysitters for ds including neighbors with children, a nursery worker and work colleagues.
we gave each a sheet with phone numbers and his daily routine in advance.
worked out well, went into labour saturday night, dd born sunday lunchtime, my best friend looked after ds for the day.

Original poster

mumbybumby · 20/09/2010 20:23

Thanks for replying everyone - am going to look into it a bit more. As a last resort MIL could have her but I really don't want to go there (long story) as I would probably spend the whole labour worrying about DD!

OP posts:

Habbibu · 20/09/2010 20:27

The thing is, friends with young kids may well have more in the coming years, so you can always return the favour. We had a list of possibles, who all knew they were vaguely on standby - as it turned out, it was 6 am when we had to go to hosp (so friends with small children were already awake when we called!) and dh went back to get dd just after lunch. I'd gone over in the evening to babysit when the same friend went into labour anyway. Loads of people offered for us.

Original poster

mumbybumby · 20/09/2010 20:36

I know you're right and I can think of at least two people who would be happy to have her (and I would be happy too!) so that's got to be a start. Labour was very long last time so keeping my fingers crossed that it wasn't too long ago so my body should be a bit quicker this time! :)

OP posts:

undercovamutha · 20/09/2010 20:45

I was frantic about this when I was pg as my parents live a few hours away, my dad works, and he uses their only car. Plus my mum is disabled so can't look after DCs on her own. FIL is an elderly widower, lives a few hours away, and has NEVER looked after DD.

However it all went okay. I left my DD with a friend (who had 2 DCs of her own) for an hour whilst I went for a quick check-up after my waters broke. Phoned my parents and asked if they could come when my dad finished work. Picked my DD back up from my friends. Stayed at home for as long as I could. Parents arrived after about 4 hours. An hour later, DD had gone to bed and I went back into hospital. Had DS shortly after, DH stayed with me, and then he went back home early in the morning to take DD to playgroup, as parents had to go back home cos of my dads work.

There is always a way! I worried SO much beforehand - but it all went to plan.

Original poster

mumbybumby · 20/09/2010 20:55

Thanks for the reassurance undercover, I feel far more stressed over this one than I ever was last time! I'm probably just being crazy :) am going to ask a couple of people to be on standby just in case and see if my brother could travel up (3 hrs ish)

OP posts:

toja555 · 24/09/2010 12:49

i am due in 6 weeks with No.2 and have asked a couple of friends + my DC1 childminder if they could have him in emergency. If it happens that no one is available at that date, DH will have to look after DC1 - and I have been preparing myself mentally to give birth on my own, if that will be the case.

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