Sex following Pregnancy and Childbirth

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I have not had sex for about 19 months now.

I was very sick during my pregnancy and have a 10 month old son.

I have had sex once after my baby was born.

I tore badly but it has healed.

I do not have sex as I do not feel like it.

I am so tired from bf, and my baby does not sleep through, so we take it turns and now we have graduated to sleep in different rooms, someone sleeps with the baby and the other gets a decent nights sleep.

My DH helps in any way he can with bringing up the baby.

Is it a case of waiting until I stop breastfeeding?

We have a brilliant relationship, always have but is this a bit strange?

I also want to have another baby - and then figure it might be another 2 years without sex (once pregnant) and sleep.

I thought about booking a 2 week holiday away with everything done to help things along.

I should add my DH is gorgeous and adorable and wonderful.

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I'd say it's probably longer than most people stop having sex for around the time of having a baby, but it's definitely not 'strange'.

My DH often ends up in DD's bed in the mornings when she comes in to ours and takes up a HUGE amount of space for someone so small, and she's 3.

nothing wrong with booking the holiday though, sounds like you could both do with a break.

sometimes forcing yourself to have sex even when your not in the mood can get you in the mood once you've started. not having sex can become a habit and all the advice says the more sex you have, the more you want. IME if I can relax myself and get DH to focus on pleasing me before getting too worked up himself, then I actually get into it and enjoy it but he has to initiate it since I am usually not in the mood since falling pregnant.

I wouldn't say it is strange but would echo what chillichill is saying.

is there anybody who could take the baby overnight for you so that you both get some time off. By 10 months dc should be able to take some expressed bf from a bottle or cup or some formula if you are comfortable with that.

You shouldn't have to wait until you stop bf because that won't solve the problem of a waking baby and your tiredness. If you are still feeding at night you would still need to do a formula feed.

I bf dd until she was 1 and it didn't utterly exhaust me but by 10 months she was sleeping through most nights (although only from around 9 months).

If you are utterly exhausted (more than you would expect from having a newborn) have you considered you may be anaemic (sp?)

Thanks but I don't give my baby expressed milk or formula.

The baby never has taken to a bottle or cup for milk - will only take water in a cup.

The baby has just recently started to sleep through the night.

We have no one that could take the baby for a night - that is why I was thinking of going to a villa for a break but DH has just had some pressing work come in so we will not be able to go away for a while now.

It might be a case of checking my iron levels.

Not very romantic but what about planning sex a bit. We have a 7 week old and on a couple of nights have decided that when he goes to sleep, we will get on with it. It wasn't fabulous sex to begin with but it was good to get the first time with all the nervousness over with so we could enjoy it next time.

Another reason to think about as a cause of tiredness is postnatal depression - might not be the case but always worth a thought.