What is giving birth in hospital really like?

[diyqueen]

Only 12 weeks (with my first) so maybe a bit early to be thinking about this, but have been thinking ahead to the birth a bit lately (and having weird dreams about it...!). The only options here are home or hospital - no birth centre near, which would have been my preferred option. At my booking appointment I said I'd have a hospital birth, thinking about the first time being unpredictable/quite a long transfer time from home to hospital if needed/knowing medical help was close for baby if needed. However, I am feeling a bit nervous already at the thought of being in hospital. The process of birth itself doesn't really scare me, but the thought of being in a strange, clinical environment with lots of strangers seeing me at my most vulnerable really does - I'm quite a private person and don't normally like being touched by people I don't know, and really do not want any more medical intervention than necessary, though worry if I'm scared/not relaxed this is exactly what will happen. I am aware though that when in labour I may really not care so much and just be focussed on getting the baby out! If anyone who's given birth in a hospital after feeling similarly about it could tell me how it was for them in the end I'd really appreciate it.

From what you've said, I would suggest a homebirth.

If you do need to go to hospital for any reason, your birth partner will need to be very assertive, to make sure you get the privacy you would like.

Have you been to look round your hospital?

I would only expect lots of strangers if it all gets complicated

But if the idea of being in hospital puts you off then I would look at homebirth instead

hmm, well.
I felt a bit the same as you, partly because I had never in my entire life been in hospital for anything.
When it actually happened I didn't mind the hospital-ness of it all and felt quite positive about it, after all, they looked after me and the baby came out safely.
HOWEVER when I look back on it with the benefit of hindsight and understanding more about the birth process (and having had 3 dcs now) I think they were quite crap actually - with dc1 I had a typical 'cascade of intervention' experience ending in epidural/ventouse and it may have been sparked off by various bits of crap care early on, eg they didn't bother to show me how to use the gas and air, I didn't get the least bit of encouragement from anybody just a negative 'oh, you're not making much progress'.
With dc2 I didn't go in soon enough and gave birth literally within 5 minutes of arriving at the hospital (hence 2nd stage labour in the car, not much fun) and with dc3 the hospital sent me home despite my history of progressing rapidly and we had to call the ambulance to our house and I gave birth in it.
So in retrospect all 3 experiences would have been better, and the last 2 actually safer, had I gone for a home birth.
Also the night I stayed in after dc1 was born was pretty miserable - I think it would be much better to get to know your baby and establish breastfeeding in a home environment.

so unless you are a very long way from hospital I think a home birth is a good option.

'I would only expect lots of strangers if it all gets complicated'

unfortunately you can get lots of random midwives even if it doesn't; eg if you're there across shifts, or they are busy so you get different people coming in to see you each time.

Thanks for the replies. Homebirth does appeal in some ways but as I said, a bit of a long transfer time and the health of my baby is really the most important thing - and the hospital seems quite a good one - so on balance am planning a hospital birth. I may be just being really silly about it all - have never been in hospital before which may have something to do with it. If anyone who felt similarly before their hospital birth could share their experience on the day (especially if positive) I think I'd find it reassuring -think that's all I'm after really! :)

oh sorry - my post not really helpful then

I think you do care less about the privacy aspect than you think you will - everyone there is so used to it and matter-of-fact about it.

Thanks Seth, just seen your message after posting back and it's all kind of what I was thinking about, though is reassuring to hear that the 'hospital-ness' not a problem. I think the way to go will be to be as clued up as possible beforehand about what might happen/what I might be offered.

Obviously, we would all like an easy labour at home. I always dreamt of having our baby in our bed. But realistically I felt a lot safer in the hospital.

It was very comfy, and we had a huge delivery room to ourselves. My DH was sitting in fantastic armachair, and I convinced him to watch Match of the Day. We did nit see or hear any other woman in labour.

The main thing though is, that when complications arose, as unfortunately they did, we had two very competent ob-gyns, a peadiatrician, midwives, anesthetitians, epidural, etc. on hand. I never ever felt scared, and I have a lovely 2.5 old DS [in love emoticon].

When it became clear that I need instrumental delivery about 10 people (consultants, midwives, cleaners?) appeared in our room, all introducing themselves and shaking my hands while my legs were in stirrups. I did not find that strange at the time

But you might see hospitals differently, as I am a so-called old mother.

it depends on the labour, my second birth was just me dp and the midwife. ok the docs popped in, but they left us to it, i did allow a couple of students in for pushing as wanted some cheerleaders!!!

remember that you do have choices, most times the cascade occurs is cos not unreasonably, people request epidurals!

main downer, and i am being honest, is hearing other women.....

Sorry about my late nightspelling

diyqueen when you say its quite a long transfer, how long is it? This is the main thing that would affect my decision in choosing a homebirth.

Please take a look at this website which has lots of info on Homebirths.

[[http://www.birthchoiceuk.com/ This one is also good for looking at the statistics for your local hospital.

Sorry, I'll try that one again Birthchoice UK

I am also wondering what "quite a long" transfer actually means - because mostly you would transfer in for reasons that are not an actual emergency (you decide you want an epidural, are getting tired, something) - and if you think about it, if you opt for a hospital birth you will be going in in labour anyway! If you go for the home option you can always change your mind.

I had an induced labour with DS and although I was monitored regularly there weren't a lot of people around me all the time. DH and I were left alone a lot to get on with things, it is true that at every shift change I was introduced to a new midwife and at the point they decided I needed syntocinon there were a lot of people in the room but otherwise I wouldn't say I was touched by a lot of people. When I delivered I had 2 dr.'s, a midwife and DH so not masses of people. Once the shift had changed I had the same midwife until the next shift change (was quite a long labour- induced at 10pm weds and gave birth at 11.20am Friday and was in hospital the whole time). I personally was focusing on myself and didn't pay attention to much of what was going on unless I needed to and didn't hear other women at all.

We have a half an hour drive to hospital which I feel is too long in an emergency so I chose a hospital birth again this time, luckily as I am 12 days overdue today with no signs of baby arriving so am booked for another induction tomorrow morning.

I didn't have a tour this time as I am at the same hospital but when I went when pregnant with DS they wouldn't book me onto a tour until I was at least 34 weeks so looking around may not be possible yet.

I would go for a home birth in your situation.
You say a Birth Centre would have been your ideal option, and tbh, a home birth is a far closer match to that than a hospital birth.

I had my first in a MLU, which was only a couple of miles from my home, whereas the hospital was about 20 miles away, so really, the transfer time would have been pretty much identical from home. At that time we lived in a very cramped house, and also I wanted the chance to stay in the MLU for a few days following the birth as my DH was straight back to work. Those were my only reasons for choosing it above home. In every respect, it seemed a very close match to home - one midwife right through, own bedroom with 'normal' pine bedroom furniture etc. As boogeek says, most reasons for transfer aren't emergencies anyway.

I think you are wildly overthinking the hospital thing. I gave birth in hospital and it was very pleasant and the atmosphere among the other new mothers on the ward was lovely. And I had no intervention - just a totally plain natural birth - and absolutely no pressure to have any (on the contrary).

And it is very reassuring to be in a hospital with good neo-natal facilities and an operating theatre - you never know!

My hospital birth was fine. I was on a drip because of mecornium, but was kind of left to it unless I asked. The midwives were wonderful, supportive and friendly - and when there were problems at the end they jumped on it very quickly.

Also got a lot of support from the postnatal team with breastfeeding, and general dealing with a newborn stuff.

Because things changed so quickly in my birth, I'm very glad we were at the hospital. Thankfully, there were no problems, but if there had been, I know they would have been dealt with immediately due to the number of people there were in the room when I delivered!

I was offered pain relief, but it was fine when I said no, and when I said yes; I felt under no pressure to have it more medicalised than was necessary, and under no pressure to "hurry up".

Go and have a look round your local delivery suite, talk to your midwife about your concerns. It will help you just to share it if nothing else :)

"and we had a huge delivery room to ourselves."

out of interest, is there ever a situation where a woman is delivering in a room with another woman doing the same?

Same as Sethstarkaddersmum, I was unphased at being in hospital the first time round and thought it was fine, but with hindsight it was bollocks, downwards spiral of intervention which luckily didn't descend too far. I think I would've been absolutely fine at home with no intervention, if only I had been able to get over my society-induced feeling that it would be safer in hospital in case of trouble. I don't think I knew then that statistically the risk is about the same for low-risk mums. I had no idea how much going to hospital and being in hospital would affect my natural labour. I thought my labour would progress along the same lines whatever situation I was in - I now know that is wrong.

I had three lovely hospital births, large private delivery room with en suite, lots of care and attention during and afterwards. Suggest you go on a hospital tour (most offer them) and see what you think of the facilities.

I had two hospital births and second was a section so stayed in longer than usual (baby was 11lbs 9oz so got stuck!), I found each time a nice experience.

I did pay for private rooms though and I think that made all the difference, the midwives do pop in to see if you are ok and to introduce themselves when there is a shift change but I didnt find this instrusive and I certainly wasn't poked or prodded unnesercerily.

Generally people only mention the negatives about hospital births as that sticks in their minds but I have very fond memories of it being just me and the baby the majority of the time, no phones ringing all the time like it does at home and just getting to know each other. Very special time for me.

Where are you? Ask maybe in MN local for experiences of the hospital you'd be at.

My 2 hospital births were fine, second was at a busy so was on a PN ward :( but was only for a few hours as I gave birth at midnight.
First time was private room, clean bathroom, one midwife only etc.

Wgen I say private I mean just the room - about £120 where I live. I don't mean private care which would be a whole lot more than that!