so I made the decision to have a c-section - feel a bit wierd!

[ginger2000]

had my 36 week appt with consultant today regarding VBAC v C-Section. Was totally convinced I would be saying that I was happy for a trial by labour and that I really wanted a VBAC. However, my old hospital had written to him regarding my dd's birth which resulted in a EMCS and after asking a few questions, his answers really made me think that an ELCS was the best option.

I just feel a bit strange now - I am relieved I have made the decision (and I do think it is the best option based on what the notes and the consultant said) but the 'failure' to give birth 'properly' is still praying on my mind and I feel somehow that i have taken the easy option.

Not sure what I am asking really - but I guess, how can I make myself feel better about this decision???

Thanks BagofHolly - you talk sense - it shouldn't matter how we choose to give birth at all! People are hideously judgemental though about all sorts of things aren't they?

To be honest - it wasn't really ever about what other people thought, more about my feelings of failure after DD's birth. I just hadn't imagined it going pear-shaped as I had pretty much sailed through pregnancy (same this time) so i just wasn't prepared with the barrage of negative feelings about myself I had for AGES after - so much so I cried when I went to visit a friend in hospital after she had a baby because it bought back the memories.

Therefore, I KNOW this is the right choice as no one can guarentee it won't happen again (thanks Haliborange - your second delivery is exactly what I want to avoid although you sound so positive now!) and all the positive comments from people who have had ELCS's have made me feel so much better in myself.

Lets just hope the breastfeeding goes according to plan or I might find that becomes the next thing to beat myself up over!

My fellow ginger, please, do not beat yourself up. You will soon have another gorgeous baby, and all that matters .

Good luck.

I can totally see why you would want an ELCS this time.
Having read your post the only thing I would also suggest, is that malpresentation is not always about 'posterior' I can be a combination of a pelvis that is a narrower shape a sizeable baby and/or things like babies head not being tucked or having a hand up by the head, or just slightly twisted.
If I was supporting you (where do you live? I'm happy to traval up to an hour or two away from Liverpool)I would use the Spinning babiesx techniques, which I have found very helpful in these situations-
www.spinningbabies.com/baby-positions/cpd
Many doulas will work at a reduced rate if you have financial digfficulties. Doula UK also have a hardship fund you can accesss. A doula can also support you if you have a planned or emergency cesarean and with feeding.
Not trying to say there is a 'right' thing to do, just that there are options.
Good luck!
Selina x

had my elcs 15 half weeks ago after having emcs 1st time. best descision i ever made.

everything was calm, organised, babysitters booked. went in and DD came out less than 2hrs later.
perfect

don't worry bout feeling u taking the easy option, it is a major op!

As for cs being the "easy option" anyone who has had one knows it is not. Mine were both emcs, and I am told that an elcs is much less painful, but honestly I can cope much better with labour pains than post-op pain. I have had a few operations and was shocked at the lack of aftercare following a cs: no advice on wound care before you leave the hospital, the surgeon does not come and speak to you afterwards like they would with any other op, and they can be shockingly mean with the pain relief (last time I was given paracetomol for the first 36 hours until I made a massive fuss). So, no, you aren't taking the easy option, although you may well be taking the sensible one!

I had an elective c-section first time round due to placenta praevia and it was great. Apart from the general scare and worry re placenta praevia the whole operation went as smoothly as it could ever be (with a CD that we gave the operating theatre manager to play?!) and everyone involved in the theatre coming in before the operation to introduce themselves and say what they do. Op was done at 9 and I was out in recovery with baby latched on by 10... in a private side room.

This time round, am hoping for a VBAC - am I MAD?!?! well, I have 4 days to change my mind....!

Good luck drcrab! Hope it all goes well for you - for what its worth, I found labour fine(although appreciate didn't get to feel the pain of crowning etc) but am sure you will cope just fine!

Selina - thanks so much for coming back to me. Your advice is really interesting and I do understand that there is more to malpresentation than 'posterior' - I have read extensively on this whole subject!! I have looked at spinning babies before and agree that there are options. But I think I have made my peace with my decision and am going to go with the c-section on the 27th.

I totally agree its not the easy option to have a c-section and that's one of the things that bothers me especially because its not the pain of labour that is making me choose an ELCS more that I just need to be sure the baby will get out without the trauma of last time!! - I struggled a lot last time with infections etc but think I will generally be much more with it this time!