Giving birth without a birth partner

[rhools]

Has anyone given birth in hospital without a birth partner? My husband works away from home and it will take him about 2 hours to get to the hospital. My first labour lasted 8 hours, I was in hospital for 2 hours before DD1 arrived. My second labour lasted less than 2 hours, I was at the hospital for a midwife's appointment when I had a show, I had to stay in hospital as my blood pressure sky rocketed, my husband arrived and DD2 was born 40 minutes later.

I'm worried that DH won't make it to the hospital in time for DC3's birth so I wanted to get some reassurance/nice stories from others who've had to have a baby without a BP.

I don't have personal experience of this, so I'm sure someone will be along to answer your post who has shortly.

But my mum delivered my youngest brother 9 years ago on her own (she had a BP for me and my other brother) and she got on fine. It was a quick labour, luckily went very well, no complications and was home quickly.

The midwives were excellent with her and one was with her most of the time.

She actually says she got on better on her own. Easier to concentrate etc but she was a single parent so different circumstances.

Hopefully it works out ok and you go in to labour when your DH is closeby :)

Good luck

As long as you're getting one to one care from a midwife who engages well with you I'm sure you'll find it ok.

Michel Odent (famous French obstetrician)argues that women have easier labours when their partners aren't present - because they're less inhibited. Don't know what you think of that!

Feel sorry for your dp though - will he be gutted to miss the birth?

I gave birth to DS, our third, on my own. Hospital was quite far from home, involving a boat journey and we have two other young children.

It wasn't ideal, I was on my own a lot, but I made it. I completely disagree with Odent, who has a penis and therefore has never given birth.

Dh was there for DD1 one but not for the others (He was at home looking after the older ones as it was the only way for me to have peace of mind).

So 3 birth without partner but the midwifes were fantastic and I cannot think of one moment were I have been left on my own relatively short labours though which might explin it)

I desagree with Odent as well, it was not easier because DH was not here, it was just more relaxing for me to know the children had someone I trusted totally to look after them IYSWIM.

My dh was there but didn't actually do anything useful as I recall. He drank tea and did the crossword I didn't actually require him to do anything at any point though....I did have a mw and student who were there all the way through and I would have been fine with just them.

Do you think you might be more likely to have a midwife with you all the time if you don't have a partner?

I was left on my own, Shaz. Quite a bit.

Didn't matter that I was on my own.

Are you planning a hospital or home birth?
Do you have any neighbours or friends close by?
how far away are you from the hospital?

I think that if you have a stressy DH then Odent might be right, but with a supportive DH, less so. His idea is that a calm woman who has had children herself is more likely to give the new mother confidence than a nervous new Dad.

I had a hospital birth without a birth partner, and it was OK. I was in a different position to you, though as my partner passed away. I couldn't think of anyone I would have been comfortable with being there, who was also availble, iykwim. I was left on my own a lot,tbh, but was fine.

I had a hospital birth without my dh there due to the regulations in the hospital my ds was born in (not in UK).
I had one, and sometimes two, midwife(s) with me all the time though.

Do you have a friend who could come with you to keep you company during labour? Its quite good to have company, have some help, someone to get your drinks etc. Saying that, if your labours are quick, you probably won't notice if there is someone else there or not!

But I think you'll be fine on your own. I had DC4 on my own and it was fine - good in fact - I was very tuned into what was happening and the MWs instructions.

With DC1&2 I had friends as birth partners, and they were brilliant.

However you do it, its all about you and your baby. Good luck, I hope it goes well.

i'm a great fan of giving birth on your own.

dh stayed in whilst i was in labour and left when my waters broke and it began to get messy.

worked for us for both dd1 and 2!

i totally agree with the Odent inhibition bit.

plus i really enjoyed that bit of mystique, secrecy and first moments alone with my baby.

I live close to the hospital that I'm due to give birth in, about a 10 minute drive. I have friends who live close by, but I don't feel comfortable having a friend as a BP. I think I'd rather do it on my own if DH can't be there then have a friend with me.

For DD2, I was left on my own a bit as the midwife got the labour room ready (they were busy cleaning it - I guess births are like buses and my DD2 was the third birth that afternoon) which I wasn't expecting and wasn't happy about it at the time - cursing everyone for abandoning me . This time round I'm expecting to be left on my own for some of the time I'm in labour it so I don't think it will be a problem as the expectation is there iyswim.

My DH was at both the previous births and was a very calming presence, I found he helped me focus on breathing/pushing/relaxing (obviously not in that order!) and made me feel less panicky.

I'm sure I'll be fine, just pre-labour nerves. I'm 35 weeks and getting bad BH and back ache so thoughts of labour are all I seem to be thinking about at the moment!