almost convinced by homebirth article in the Guardian this weekend...

[elportodelgato]

I don't know if anyone else saw this article by Sali Hughes about homebirth on Saturday in the Guardian Family section? probably there is a whole thread about it somewhere but I can't find it...

I've never considered homebirth before but this article has really made me think again. I had a straightforward pregnancy with my DD but she was induced at 41+3 so I was in hospital so they could monitor the induction. Besides, it was my first baby and I would not have wanted to be anywhere except hospital. The whole labour was 7 hours in total and I did without any pain relief (not out of choice btw, would have loved something to take the edge off) until G&A for the pushing stage - I tore and had stitches but otherwise all was normal. It's entirely possible that I will be induced this time around too but if I'm not then I am really considering homebirth - can someone come and tell me if I am being silly and it's my hormones?

I almost cried when I read the bit about her being tucked up in her own bed in nice clean pyjamas with her new baby. It has made me really realise that my hospital experience last time was 'OK' but not amazing - busy London hospital, laboured for the most part behind a curtain in a ward which was not at all private or pleasant and I remember being hugely embarrassed when my waters broke on the floor. In the night following the birth the call button in my cubicle didn't work and no one came to help me. Because of my stitches I needed help to get to the loo etc but no one did this. I'd like to avoid all these downsides if possible and suddenly homebirth looks attractive. Can anyone offer a view?

I read it, and thought the same as you. Its a bit late for me (due in 3 days) but it has made me view it another way.

BUT she did have a 2 hour labour!

why not look into it for you then? I have heard nothing but positive feedback.

and agree the post natal ward is GRIM GRIM GRIM

Why would anyone say you were being silly? Talk to your midwife about it :)
www.homebirth.org.uk has a lot of useful information.

I had a home birth with my DS and ilike the writer of that article I'm not 'for' or 'against' hospital birth - i just think everyone should have the right to choose whats best for them. I was very lucky to have a midwife team who were very supportive of home births, when they suggested it to me it just seemed to make sense. other peopl i know who live in different areas haven't had this support and have either had to fight to have a home birth or it hasn't even been discussed as an option - most people just assume you go to hospital to have a baby.

we live about a 5 minute ambulance ride away from a big hospital - don't knw how i would feel if i didn't have that option close by tbh but having had such a fantastic experience first time round i would definitely want to do it at home again...

fwiw i had a straightforward 7 hour labout and DS was delivered in a pool in the front room i am sat in as i write this... and yes, one of the best bits was me, DS and DP being tucked up in bed together by the lovely midwives (who, incidentally had cleaned up so here was hardly any mess for DP to deal with) and left together in the comfort and familiarity of our home. She came back 6 hours later to check all was well and then visited every day for a week until confident BFing etc was going well. N sure you get that kind of service in a hospital...

i hope this helps you make your decision...

I have had 2 hbs and one at hosp. I loved be3ing at home:

privacy, my own food/space/tv, midwife just attending to me, cleaned up after, got given a bath and washed, put in PJs, given tea and toast in bed and baby tucked in with us, they even washed up!

no waiting to be discharged. no sharing horrible toilets/wards/hearing other people in labour/their babies crying

loved it.

I am hopefully about to have my 4th homebirth any time!

I can say that they have all been wonderful experiences: each one obviously different, but being able to just have a bath at home, change the sheets and get into bed is invaluable.

I feel safe at home. I would obviously go for a hospital birth if it looked necessary: this time around up until last week in fact, it was looking like I would maybe have to go in.

I think it's the simplicity of being able to potter in labour and be unrestricted where you are, getting the midwives to make a brew and get the jaffa cakes and not having yukky strip lighting!

It's lovely for your other kids to come straight in and see you and the new arrival and sit in bed together. Oh the list goes on!

Haven't read the article yet but will do. All I can say is that it can be a wonderful experience: not to say I am not cacking it about the birth!

Ahhh lovely article - very moving.

I didn't have home births with either of mine - 2 close misses - tried with DS1 but after 2 hours of the final pushing stage the midwifes made the 999 call for me to be transferred into hospital, and I had him 20 min later.

With DS2 thing happened so very quickly it was clear that the mid-wife wasn't going to get to me in time, so my husband made the call 999 to hospital I was admitted at 7.58am and had DS2at 8.01am!!!

45 min from start to finish

Interesting article. Have sent it to DH, we are considering a HB for DC2 in 4 weeks, but are wavering, especially DH.

I'd love to have this baby at home, but with an emergency CS last time, combined with the length of time it would take even a blue-light ambulance to get to hospital, I am cautious. The final straw was that last week I had some suspicious activity going on in my garage while OH was out, and feeling vulnerable and pregnant I rang the police rather than stomp out there with a big stick to see what was going on. The police said I was absolutely right to call them and they would be round immediately. Half an hour later I spotted them cruising up and down the lane looking lost. My house is not the easiest to find! I suspect an ambulance crew would have just as much fun trying to find me.

I think if I lived just a few minutes away from a hospital it wouldn't be a question. I'd go for a HB.

i had a homebirth for dd2, it was brilliant. Not just the birth itself but the whole post-birth experience was a million times nicer than being in hospital.

I think it sounds like a lovely idea and would love to have the guts to do it but after a complicated delivery in my first labour and an undiagnosed condition in dd2 which needed immediate care I'm pleased I had mine in hospital.

Good luck whatever your choice. :)

I'm 3 miles away from nearest hospital, not the one I am booked into but I would go there in an emergency. Does that seem like a reasonable distance? How long do you think it would take for an ambulance to get to us in a priority situation? I live between a town and a city, about 3 miles from both.

Great article - really positive without being evangelical, which is spot on as horses for courses and all that.

I had my first (DD) in hospital and my second (DS) at home. Both were pretty long labours, but for me, the homebirth was just great in comparison. I felt entirely supported as we had two midwives with us the whole time (very different from my hospital experience). I knew that if they'd detected any kind of problem, I'd have transferred to hospital (and I tried to remain sanguine about this possibility).

Labouring in my own home, using my own bath etc was great, it was nice not to have to travel to hospital, and - best of all - two hours after he was born, DH and I were snuggled in bed with brand-new DS and not a stain on our (ill-advised) cream carpets.

Of course, this is all with the benefit of hindsight and I wasn't at all interested in a homebirth for my first. But, ah, it was brilliant!

That article may have just brought my mother round to the idea! She was very dubious at first, simply through having had her children at the peak of the medicalisation of birth in the NHS.

I've really looked into the evidence surrounding homebirth and personally I'm happy that if everything is going smoothly, it'll be far less stressful and as safe as hospital - possibly even safer.

Various health issues I have mean that a water birth is my best pain relief option and the only way I can guarantee a pool is available is to have one at home. And reducing stress is hugely important for me for pain relief and the best way I can do that is to stay at home with a midwife with me throughout labour. Also, my health issues mean that a hospital stay could lead to a major flare-up, with consequences for me, my family, my chances of breastfeeding, etc, etc.

Everyone has to feel comfortable themselves with their decision, whatever that is. And only you will know of your own issues, worries and wants.

How did you get your DH's on board with HB?

My DH is not keen, I've got him a book, HB for Fathers, sent him various MN links and articles but he just isn't taking the time to read them. It's really starting to piss me off actually. I'm really not looking forward to giving birth again, and am stressing over this HB decision. I couldn't do it without his back but I'm not sure how I can make him realise what a big deal this is to me.

He just wants a healthy baby whereas I want an experience which won't traumatise me again (no real reason for the trauma, just a quick labour in which I felt scared and out of control). I've been up since 5.30 (not unusual for me atm) thinking about this and having a go at him in my head as we have the MW coming round on Thurs and he still hasn't even looked at the book, which has been there for 6 months.

How do I get him on board without guilting him into it and without blowing up at him which I am ready to do?

DH's getting on board was helped by the fact he can't drive (and homebirth cuts out the need to travel to hospital, at least by car/taxi) and that the local birthing centre had the same transfer time to hospital, in the event we needed more care, as it did from our home. So I'm not sure this will help you, Bumperlicious. But you never know.

DH was adamantly against homebirth for our first child, but the terrible aftercare I had in hospital after DD got him thinking. He was still not massively keen but the more we talked about it the more homebirth seemed like a good plan. I think it helped that I wasn't massively for it either, but just intrigued enough to talk through the pros and cons with my midwife, then with DH. It also helped that the midwives here are very in favour of HB and the rates are higher than average.

So try not to blow up at him about it (easier said than done I know). Has he read the Guardian article posted above? It could give him food for thought. How far are you from the hospital? Ask the midwife how long it would take to transfer you if necessary? This might reassure him. Perhaps start the conversation with the midwife 'we're considering a HB; can you talk us through the risks and benefits?'

My DH has gone from a bit concerned about HB to being massively positive. But it probably helped that shortly after having DS we were sitting on the sofa eating pizza, as opposed to DD's birth - where he was kicked out of Lewisham hospital at 11pm.

Bumperlicious - I think for the man the birth is a very complicated mix of emotions - they see you in discomfort and pain lasting sometimes for hours on end, and understandably they believe that any one in that much pain should be seen in a medical background - ie a hospital.

But, by the same token they want what is best for you and so if a homebirth is going to help you and your mind set then that is very very important.

I had total belief that a labour at home was best and my DH had to agree as it was my overriding desire. he may just be puting off discussing it with you because his idea's are at odds with yours or he is just wrestling with it in his own mind. We have been very conditioned to believe that a hospital is the best place to be.

If you had a very quick labour last time speak to your mid-wife about what might happen this time. As I say I tried and failed for both my home births my first labout was 6 hours long and 2 and half hours of that was the final stage of trying to push. 2nd time around it was 45 min from start to finish - If I'd waited for the midwife she wouldn't have made it!

Really interesting. I talked through my inclination to have a HB with a consultant friend of mine and she talked me out of it in 2 seconds. Whilst i too loved the idea of being in my own familiar surroundings she pointed out that at hospital she is never more than 30 seconds away from an emergency situation in a birth, 30 seconds...that isnt an ambulance ride away, thats a few blinks! She reeled off a list of things that can and do go wrong in births, which worried me. She didnt do it to panic me, i know, but to arm me with the reality of it. She also mentioned that for some women of course it would be fine, but it is a risk, and one obviously anyone can take and should have the freedom to choose. Sadly it isn't one I feel comfortable taking.

It is such a shame that we see things as vile hospital vs lovely home, why oh why cant more post natal wards and even delivery suites develop a nice home feel to put us all at ease?

Good luck for your home or hospital birth OP, i hope it goes very well for you whichever you pick! {smile}

When I mentioned to my midwife that I was interested in a homebirth she said, totally casually, "Oh yes, births are more straightforward at home". My jaw nearly hit the floor - she said it in such a matter-of-fact way, it seemed like this big secret that most people are unaware of.

The best things for me were being on my own territory (I know I tense up loads if I go to hospital for anything), guaranteeing my use of a pool, not having to get up and go somewhere while dealing with contractions.
And going to the loo in my own bathroom and then coming back into my own bedroom to see my brand-new baby tucked up in my own bed - that was amazing.

The thing is coraltoes that could be said about anything really. I'm not sure that birth in itself is inherently dangerous, and the thinking that you should be in hospital just in case something goes wrong, which is fairly rare, is tantamount to thinking that we should all just live in hospitals in case the myriad of things that could go wrong with us, heart attack, choking, tripping and hitting our heads, etc. happen so we can just be 30 seconds away from a doctor.

But I do appreciate your reluctance. I'm not sure if I am going to be able to get past the 'what if something goes wrong?' feeling myself.

Of course, Coral Toes

a) consultants (I assume she is a obstretrician rather than say, psychiatrist) only see complicated cases or cases where things are going wrong

b) a great many people on here will tell you that it can take significantly longer than 30 secs to get a member of staff, let alone a consultant to attend, even in an emergency

c) there are plenty of "risks" going into hospital: stress for the mother of a new environment, the slowing of labour, the artifical speeding up of labour, MRSA etc

Anyway, I'm quite sure you know all that.

My midwife told me all the midwives have homebirths. I always thought it would be great and what I'd chose. But as it happened my DS was prem due to a placental abruption and haemorrage and I'm never now going to be anything other than high risk so will never have the choice. Because DS was prem I would also never want it as he wouldn't have survived if we'd been anywhere else and with my history I just can't take the risk.

My dh watched home births on YouTube which seemed to calm his worries a lot.

I had a hb and would again if I had a straightforward pregnancy and labour. My reasons are mainly the one-to-one mw care, not having to travel to hospital while in labour (unless by ambulance), more relaxing being at home and I think being less tense makes labour easier, hospital 5 mins away, being in my own bed with my new family afterwards.

I also think if I had to do a big poo with people watching (which is vaguely similar to giving birth) it would be easier to do it at home with a couple of people than in hospital under strip lighting with various people coming in and out and more on the other side of a curtain.

But ultimately it's where you feel safest. For many people that's hospital. For some it's home.

I've had both hospital and home births. Being at home was much much better for me. But I think that a large part of that is that the hospital birth was the first birthing experience for me. If I were a first-timer, what I'd really be craving (and only achieve in impossible land, obviously) would be some idea of how my body might navigate childbirth. The complete unpredictability of the experience, and of one's mind's response to it, is the hardest thing about childbirth #1, IMO.

In retrospect I don't think it matters particularly where I was. I'd have been panicky and anxious first time, much more confident thereafter.

Hi again, thanks for all the responses, really interesting.

Our hospital is about 5 mins away so I am not too concerned about getting there should anything go wrong with a HB. The more I compare my experience last time with the article, the more set I feel about trying for a HB if I can. I was labouring behind a curtain, being ignored for most of the time, then getting to 10cm very quickly without any pain relief and thinking I was going to die (I know everyone feels like this at some point in labour but still!) Then that night on the ward and the next morning with no one to help me and a busy ward full of other people and their (sometimes obnoxious) families (a few of the women on the ward had DHs who either didn't understand the nurses telling them when visiting hours finished or didn't care but the upshot was that random men were wandering around all the time and lots of toddlers visiting, grandparents etc, some people with 5 or 6 visitors it was incredibly noisy and not at all private).

From the article it sounds as though she had 2 mws throughout and G&A throughout which tbh would be a vast vast improvement on my hospital birth. I remember when I was leaving the delivery suite one of the mws saying to me 'oh you did that perfectly, you should have a HB next time' and in my hormonally addled state I think I told her to 'fuck off' but looking back, I think that reaction came out of not feeling as though I had been in control. I was so so angry that I had had no G&A at all until I was pushing.

It's funny because up until I read this article I was saying to DH 'next time round I want you to just keep asking for an epidural until I get one, I can't go through it again the way I did last time'. But I think labouring in my own bath with G&A would be a completely different and much nicer experience all round.

I am seeing my mw again in 5 weeks I think so I will ask her about it then. Now I just need to convince DH...