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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Friend just had an emergency section- what can i do to help?

28 replies

CrazyOVERbaby · 17/08/2010 13:01

Hello, having has 2 mercifully easy labours, I don't know the kinds of practical things I can do to help my friend who has just had an emergency section after a pretty rough labour. Obviously, hubby will be around to help her for a few weeks, but beyond that, I wondered if there was any practical stuff I could do to help. Not the usual stuff, like cooking and cleaning (although I will certainly be happy to chip in!) but things that I can do/prepare for to help her recover from the op. She is desperate to EBF, and I would like to help her, as this is something that she feels really strongly about. Is there anything I can do to help make things easier for her?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Ragwort · 17/08/2010 13:07

I found it really hard to establish breast feeding after an EMCS - I was kept in hospital for 6 days because DS wouldn't put on enough weight; we had also had some bad news about his health. I found out (much later) that it can be very difficult to establish breast feeding immediately - but no one told us that at the time and I really struggled. Finally DH had to INSIST that DS was allowed a bottle - (very militant attitude to breast feeding) - once I got home everything was fine and I was able to EBF. Sorry, that is a bit of a long winded way of assuring your friend that it might be difficult to breast feed at first (something to do with hormones I believe - not too sure).

All practical help will be very welcome, especially cleaning ! If she is very sensitve about having a CS - avoiding all those 'my birth experience stories' - not that it bothered me!

soniaweir · 17/08/2010 14:32

I've had 2 emcs and what i found was most useful was people cooking and cleaning for me.

Also encouragment for BF is good to but if it looks like it won't happen then being as positive about FF as possible. i was not able to breast feed the first time round and i was devastated and all my friends kept saying to me was that a happy mummy made a happy baby and they were so right. it took me a while to understand that.

i found BF much easier second time around even with a emcs. i tihnk it was due to a shorter labour and less drugs so my milk came in after 3 days and everything slotted into place.

Original poster

CrazyOVERbaby · 17/08/2010 14:42

Thanks for that - especially about the BF. That's what I'm most worried about for her. It really means so much to her to be able to BF, but I have heard it is much harder to establish after a CS. I'll just try to jolly her up and encourage her. Plus hoover.hehe

OP posts:

SkiHorseWonAWean · 17/08/2010 15:52

It would be really nice for her to get home to clean sheets on the bed - tough to do with a healing c-section! Also, the washing up - it hurt me to lean against the kitchen counter. Getting out of bed was really hard - I had my partner home to help me but I've heard of others arranging a kind of rope/pulley system tied to the other end of the bed to get themselves up - maybe you could help sort that out?

If she's allowed baths (I wasn't) then a big catering pack of salt in the bathroom so she can chuck it in the bath to help healing.

zookeeper · 17/08/2010 15:57

hoover the carpets and sweep the floors - both very difficult after a c-section

SelinaDoula · 17/08/2010 16:28

Prehaps you could pass on some info from this site-
www.kellymom.com/bf/start/concerns/c-section.html
Selina x

bumpsoon · 18/08/2010 23:41

I had an emcs and had no problems with bfing ,but i had bf my dd before that so knew what i was doing ,which is half the battle . The biggest thing for me was someone to talk to ,who would just listen to me babble on about the experience , went from home birth to crash section . Second what others said about cooking meals ,hard enough with a newborn at the best of times !

imkeepingmum · 19/08/2010 08:56

I had an emcs in June (first baby) and no problems breastfeeding. I was very well supported in hospital and had skin to skin in recovery and then fed my baby there, with the midfwife helping me to get the correct latch. To help with the breastfeeding once she's home, perhaps you could help her get into comfortable position to do it - quite hard after a CS to manuever yourself around - lots of pillows and cushions help. Also bring her drinks/food while she's feeding.

Anyone who brought food/cooked for me immediately went into my good books!

Strix · 19/08/2010 12:27

Bring her lots and lots of arnica.

Original poster

CrazyOVERbaby · 19/08/2010 15:23

ok, got it! Food, arnica (already sent some into hospital), cleaning and cooking. Got it. No idea about the BF thing as both mine were bottle fed, so I'll just try to encourage her,

OP posts:

harverina · 19/08/2010 20:54

I had an emc 4 months ago. What I really needed help with was practical things just like everyone has said - cooking, cleaning and laundry. My mum helped by taking my washing away and this was a huge help. Re: the breastfeeding - once her hubby is back at work, just be on hand to drop in, make her cups of tea, lunch and to give her house a quick hoover etc. The first few weeks of breastfeeding can be really intense - really wonderful, but tiring so a hand to do the most basic tasks was wonderful. Also, depending on how well her wound is healing, she might need help getting shopping in as she might not e able to drive.

bibbitybobbityhat · 19/08/2010 20:57

She will probably be fine after a couple of weeks and certainly no more injured than someone who has had a bit of nasty tear delivering vaginally.

She won't be able to drive, though, or lift any older children, or heavy shopping. So would probably appreciate help with those.

Encourage her to start breastfeeding asap, lying on her side for the first few days.

You sound like a lovely friend .

1944girl · 19/08/2010 21:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missedith01 · 19/08/2010 21:08

Just stating the obvious, she might want someone to cuddle the babe so she can do things. My partner drove me mad at first by Doing Absolutely Everything ... had to sit him down and explain that sometimes I wanted him to have the baby so I could do stuff for myself.

ThatDamnDog · 19/08/2010 21:08

Oh yes, help with older kids, hoovering, changing beds and laundry all very useful. Re breastfeeding, lots of positive encouragement and more importantly sound information - so spend a while on kellymom as linked to earlier and bone up a bit. If she's anything like I was, having a section just made breastfeeding even more important to me and therefore it was vital that it wasn't undermined. Even just having the helpline numbers to hand is going to be useful, or maybe going with her to a breastfeeding group. I know I would have really appreciated that - you sound like a great friend!

Original poster

CrazyOVERbaby · 20/08/2010 13:30

Oh less of the good friend bit! You'd all do the same! I don;t know anyone who has had a baby who wouldn't do the same for a good mate. I just remember how hard the first weeks are with a baby, even after a good delivery, so I think it must be a bit crappy if you've had a major op. Keep passing on the tips though!

OP posts:

SkiHorseWonAWean · 20/08/2010 17:39

Actually I didn't want the baby held - everyone offers to hold the baby - what you really need them to do is fuck off to Tesco with a foot long list!

Original poster

CrazyOVERbaby · 20/08/2010 17:54

hehe ski horse. i'm off to asda int morning.

OP posts:

Chynah · 20/08/2010 21:50

If she has her hubby to help for a bit then that's probaby all she needs. She can drive as soon as she feels happy to and shoul be back to most normal activiy within 2 weeks.

missedith01 · 20/08/2010 21:58

SkiHorseWonAWean - I'm obviously a control freak. I can't bear the thought of someone in Tescos with my list, picking the bruised apples and the dented cans, and packing the eggs at the bottom of the carrier ...

maxpower · 20/08/2010 22:14

I found my recovery from an emcs to be very hard physically. I couldn't manage to leave the house alone for 5 weeks as manoeuvering the pram and walking was just too painful. I got really bad cabin fever and it only added to how upset I was about the emcs. It might be helpful to let your friend know that you'll happily accomany her outside for some fresh air if she needs the physical support (hopefully she'll make a miraculous 2 week recovery as suggested here )

SkiHorseWonAWean · 21/08/2010 05:36

Edith - I do totally understand what you mean - and the thought of some idiot returning home with buttons rather that shitake ... but... on this one occasion I let it slide so that I could hold my baby. It really pissed me off that people kept offering to hold the baby to "give me a break" but what I really needed them to do was run the hoover around.

The control freak in me was picking up every speck of dirt within a 500m exclusion zone!

I drove after 10 days...

Original poster

CrazyOVERbaby · 21/08/2010 10:27

Oh blimey, CS sounds rubbish.

OP posts:

Meglet · 21/08/2010 10:44

yes, give her the option of just flopping on the bed / sofa with the baby and do whatever she needs you to do. Don't hog the baby, unless she wants to have a shower in peace. Empty the bins, make the bed, order pizza in, clean breastpump if she's expressing.

It took me a month to really get out of the house after my em cs (and no driving for 6 weeks didn't help) and was still in pain then so see if she wants to go for a walk on a nice day and offer to go along too? Sometimes it's nice to feel normal again so even a wander to the supermarket might perk her up. It's hard going after an em cs IME.

fireblademum · 22/08/2010 15:05

my mum brought me and dh nice ready meals and home cooked food every day for the first couple of weeks. that was brill as i didnt have to cook or shop - or even think about it. otherwise, cleaning, gardening general errands all wonderful.
salt and lavender oil for the bath also good :)

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