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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Anyone out there dreading going through childbirth again despite first birth going ok?

16 replies

cityangel · 15/08/2010 21:20

I am 36 weeks pg and had a 5 hour hospital water birth first time round with second degree internal tearing. I know compared to other Mum's that I was very lucky with my first experience. I just can't seem to get away from really dreading giving birth again Is anyone else feeling this way or do I just need to head for the nearest fish counter for a slap?!

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StealthPolarBear · 15/08/2010 21:21

I thikn we all do! After all it was a huge deal, and you only did it once.
I had a straightforward first birth, but was still very nervous about the 2nd. Had an uneventful 2nd birth too - hope you do as well

Tillyscoutsmum · 15/08/2010 21:25

I agree we all do. Part of me just thought I couldn't possibly be as "lucky" second time round and I thought everyone was expecting me to have an easy time of it so I felt the pressure of their expectations.

There's also the thing of, no matter how straightforward it was, it still bloody hurts and I did sort of forget about it until it was imminent again.

Hope all goes well for you. I won't say try not to worry because I know that is stupid but.....well......you know

Original poster

cityangel · 15/08/2010 21:33

Thanks both that's so reassuring already. I think there was an element of the unknown first time round that made me more battle ready... I need to work next week on being more positive.

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TheUnmentioned · 15/08/2010 21:38

Am 36 weeks too and had a 6 hour labour (induced) and am actually getting quite terrified, not so much of the pain but of something going wrong, I think I was much more naieve last time.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 16/08/2010 07:58

I had a crap birth with DS followed by a lovely birth with DD.

Strangely I am now dreading this birth with DS2 more than I did with DD? .

Perhaps it is because we know it can be straightforward so that makes us worry more? I dont know its daft

Allegrogirl · 16/08/2010 09:19

I had a 6 hour induced labour last time. Couple of big tears but nothing too awful. I was really relaxed this time up to 37 weeks now I'm really scared. I've never started labour on my own and not sure if I can do it. Being on mat leave doesn't help as I don't have work as a distraction. I guess it's got to happen however I feel about it!

NinthWave · 16/08/2010 09:27

I'm 32 weeks pg with DC2 and beginning to worry abut the birth. My first DS had a shoulder dystocia and had to be resuscitated - the birth went fine up until he got stuck, and he turned out to be 9lb 6oz.

Consultant has said that it won't necessarily happen again, and I'm having a growth scan in the next few weeks to estimate this baby's size. I'm really starting to worry about going past 40 weeks though - I've been advised that they won't induce me as this can increase risk of SD happening again, and I'm worried about having an even bigger baby that really won't be able to come out without a fight.

In a nutshell, yes I am bricking it!!

MrsC2010 · 16/08/2010 10:59

I can't decide it my labour was 'ok' or not...it was a bit Jekyll and Hyde. Part of me feels lucky it wasn't worse and a bit of a moaner, part of me secretly feels a little traumatised and worried. We wanted at least 3 children...I'm sure I can do it twice more! I only gave birth last week though so it is all pretty fresh.

MassiveBumperlicious · 16/08/2010 18:37

Marking my place to read later as I am crapping myself about labour no.2 in 5 weeks (at least I would be crapping myself if I didn't have constipation that keeps giving me labour flashbacks and making fear that I am going to pop the baby out!)

MrsC2010 · 16/08/2010 21:39

Meant to say I'm not sure I can do it twice more...

Roz14 · 17/08/2010 22:41

I am 38 plus 5 and although I am so excited about greeting my new baby into the world, I am also anxious. This is my second DC and although the first experience wasn't too bad, there were certain elements of the birth which made me feel that I had lost control of the situation. Maybe I am just a bit of a control freak by nature but I think this is the main thing that I am worrying about again i.e. Can I cope with the pain, what if I don't get to hospital on time to get an epidural etc, etc I just keep trying to remain focused on the baby, as I know it will all be worth it when i have got her in my arms.

nelliesmum · 17/08/2010 23:04

I was petrified all through my second pregnancy. I'd (eventually) had an epidural for the the first one, which had been lovely and right at the time, however I was determined to have one for my second as well, even though they didn't really want to give me one. It slowed the labour right down and all kinds of freaky and unnecessary things happened, culminating in them announcing that there was no heartbeat and having to deliver my DD with forceps. Luckily she was fine but I can still get upset 5 years later when I think about the fact that I didn't try just a little harder to do it by myself. Not sure what the message is here, except that I had a preconception of how I was going to manage the birth and I came close to messing up everything.

hairymelons · 17/08/2010 23:16

I'm 32 weeks with DS2 and yes, am more nervous this time round! Last time, I'd done Hypnobirthing and was all zen about labour and birth. Then I had a 76 hour back labour- the hypnobirthing did really help but the last 3/4 hours were hell. The back pain was absolutely indescribable, I hadn't slept for days and it took 2 hours 40 minutes to push DS out!

I also feel like I'm being a moaner though, I had barely a scratch, DS was fine and, as I laboured at home until right at the end, it was lovely until then.

I'm a lot more stressed this time- we have our own business (so major work & financial stress) and a toddler and we're both knackered. I've started listening to the hypnobirthing CDs again but I just cannot seem to relax. Maybe it'll be better when I finish work.

Thanks for starting this thread, I feel loads better for getting that off my chest!

OnlyWantsOne · 18/08/2010 15:19

I have 15 weeks left before DD2 is born and I am starting to feel worried, decided on a home birth this time after fairly non complicated 4 hour spon vaginal delivery with DD however, I wonder if looking back I was a bit wooo and in my "zone" to notice everything to know if im making the right decisions... arrrr scared now

Original poster

cityangel · 18/08/2010 22:38

I am just hoping that my nervousness won't impede my chances this time. If I manage to go into labour spontaneously from Mon next week, or the 4 weeks after and make the 4 mile cross town journey to the hospital birth centre I stand a chance of getting the labour I had before.....

This means crossing my legs as I go past the other local hospital, locating family to take my 2 year old, not panicking!

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PotPourri · 18/08/2010 22:41

Of course you should b ea bit apprehensive. It's sore! But the reward is so amazing. It's like getting up early to go on holiday. When the alarm goes at 4am you're like.....argh. But it is worth it in the end.

try not to worry too much about the arrangements, they will fall into place somehow at the time. (Easy for me to say, I know. I worried so much for each of my births about the other kids - but it was fine in the end)

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