Starting to worry about leaving DD while i have dc2 - due monday!

[Alicetheinvisible]

DC2 due on monday. DD is 2.9yrs and has never stayed anywhere without either DH or myself being there. I have 2 friends who have said they will have her anytime of day or night, my dad who has said he will have her to stay and my mum who has offered to come up.

The problems are:

My mum lives best part of an hour away and has 2 children (aged 18mths and 8yrs) that live with her so she would have to find someone (her best friend would be available) to look after her kids. That would mean at least 1.5hrs to get to me, plus DD doesn't know her very well.
But, DD would get to stay in her own house, my mum would actually follow DD's usual routine so less disruption all round.

My dad is happy to have DD but she would go to stay with him and his GF. I am nervous about DD being somewhere quite strange without us and not having any of her things around her, plus being 45mins away.

My friends live in the same town, have child friendly houses, would happily have DD dumped on them in the middle of the night, but i know they think DD should be potty trained by now and would not agree that she has a bottle of milk at bedtime. Also DD would have to fit in with their routines wrt bedtime/breakfast time etc.

The reason i have just started worrying now is that DD has suddenly started being clingy and complaining about a sore ear and sore teeth (think her teeth are just having a final push tbh) and i am on the verge of getting DH to stay with her while i go to the hospital by myself.

I would either go with your Mum I think. can she not bring her DC's or would that be too much do you think?

Or your Dad...is she able to think of going to your Dad's as an adventure like a little special holiday by herself? I know he is a pretty special guy and despite the changes for her, he would no doubt be very aware of her needs. Pack her own going away case, just like Mummy's a few toys/rags/teddys etc.

Not your friend IMO, I would be the same and whatever changes she goes through, her routine and comforts are key to her being as reassured as possible.

DH staying at home as a last resort I guess...

not much help I don't think

Dh and i were chatting about it earlier and we think the best option is probably one of the friends. One especially as we see them every week for dinner and the son is DD's best friend.

Also depends on what day it is. If it is tonight then my dad would have to come out and stay with her which would be ok, but i think if it is from tomorrow onwards then would go with my friend. My dad works during the day too....

It is such a stressful situation!

Lovely neighbour from across the road has said that if it happens suddenly/middle of the night etc they will happily come and sit over here while waiting for someone (Dad, friend etc)

That is the other problem, you don't want to call someone too soon.

All things considered, it sounds like your DD might be happier with one of your friends tbh. Though I am concerned by your comment about them not approving about her bottle and lack of potty training....do they disapprove of this to the point where they wouldn't change her nappy or give her a bottle? My guess is no....? Or do they not know she still has a bottle?

That said, if your neighbour will come and sit with your DD for a short time while you await one of your parents, why do you not see this as a better option? For me, I think it would come down to which scenario provides the least disruption. That, strangely, may not involve your DD staying in her own home, it might be down to the people she would be with.

Difficult decision....

Absolute last resort would be your DH staying home with your DD. I don't really think one or two nights of disruption for your DD is really a good enough reason for your DH to miss the birth of his second baby though, but JMO.

I think one friend would be better than the other. Mostly because the one who has the two older children still babies them a bit anyway. The other friend would be fine i'm sure but she is always commenting that DD is ready for potty training, which she may be, but wasn't a couple of months ago when we tried, and now is too close iyswim?

I would worry most about DD being at my dads. Not that i don't think he is capable because he is fab, but DD would be too far away, in a house that is not child friendly and it would make me stressed.

We decided it would likely be less than 24hrs anyway. Just hope i go into labour early hours of the morning and have the baby around lunchtime, that would be best case scenario, but unlikely!

I was in your very same situation when I had my 2nd, having never left my DD for more than an hour with DP, I worried and worried about what to do right up until I was in labour and I left it up to my DP to sort arrangements, it was the middle of the night and I went by ambulance as I have very fast births and DP followed as soon as the GP got there. Unfortunately my DD woke before I left and spent the rest of the night awake hiding in the corner from GP. When I got home she was very clingy but this is understandable with a new baby around after a few days she had forgotten and was back to her normal terrorising self.

Some of my friends couldnt understand why I was stressing as they get babysitters all the time but I dont and it was a huge deal for me. Good luck and what Im trying to say is dont worry what will be will be and your DD will be fine.