Pushing my luck?

[Mam2Be]

I?m 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I don't really know what to expect but I'm quietly confident with the whole birthing thing (although this is subject to change!!). However, I really, really want to be in hospital for the least amount of time possible.

So, I was wondering how long could/would you leave it before it was a mad dash to the hospital? I want to do most of my moaning and writhing around on my own bed as loud as I like and then jump in the car when things get really moving. I?ve had a very straight forward pregnancy (touch wood) and baby is head down and wriggling his way down already.

Although I don?t feel quite brave enough to say I want a home birth with my first and midwife hasn?t even suggested it as an option?I do secretly hope that the baby won?t hang around and just make an impromptu appearance at home..wishful thinking!!

I?m I just playing with fire or do other women feel like this or even plan to do this?

When contractions are about 3 minutes apart.

I planned for a homebirth with my first baby and he was born at home. No one can tell you what labour will be like for you, they can just tell you what their experience was.

Are you down for hosp or MLU?

I don't think you wil have a problem, with both my labours I called to say I needed to come in and they sounded doubtful - both times I was 9cm+ dilated.
OTOH both labours were in the evening, one at 5.30pm and one at 11.30pm so I had to stay until the following afternoon . My plan was to have the baby at about 9.30 in the morning and to be home after lunch :)

The contractions timing thing is difficult - mine were three minutes apart from the outset but I didnt need the hospital.

If you are screaming and writhing about you are either pretty far gone or could do with some pain relief so I would go in!

In both my labours the point where I felt I needed a midwife / more pain relief was when I should have gone in / contacted her. Was usually around 7 cm then.

No reason you shouldnt have a home birth with a first if things are fine - why not mention it now?

IMHO the best thing to do, considering your secrently hoping to birth at home and certainly wanting to leave going to hospital as late as possible, would be to book for a home birth and then transfer to hospital if you feel you need to. It could well be that when things are well under way you won't want to go through the upheaval of a car journey.

I'm assuming that's OK in the UK, it's common practice here in Holland in any case. 'tis what most midwives I've met advise in most cases.

Hi Mam2Be

if you secretly want a homebirth (and might subconsciously hang around at home until it's too late to go in) it might be worth exploring it now.

Your midwife may not have mentioned it, but no reason you can't - they don't officially book you in for one until 36/37 weeks anyway.

I had a homebirth with my first and it was brilliant.

Where abouts are you? In my area they are really supportive of homebirths.

If you do want to go in to hospital I'd be led by your instincts. When it feels like you need to be in hospital go in - your body will know what's best. It's usually around the point where your contractions are coming quite close together and you've retreated in to yourself.

Have you thought about hiring a doula to stay at home with you until it is a sensible time to go to hospital? I've booked an independent midwife for my second baby as I want to be at home for as long as possible and then get out of the hospital again as quickly as possible. People have suggested a homebirth might be better for me but in all honesty, serious problems with my first birth have left me both wary of hospitals yet not wanting to be too far away from medical care, and I live in a fairly isolated and difficult to find place. It is possible, but I think I would discuss it with someone rather than just crossing your fingers.

Thanks everyone for your messages. I think the hesitation to just go for a homebirth stems from all the women in my family having some form of complication or another and being quite a fair drive from hospital I don't really want to cut of the security of a hospital completely. I think I'm just nervous of making the wrong decision and feel a little helpless in not knowing what to expect or how I will be able to cope with the pain! urgh..I just don't know what to do!!

But I think I will discuss a homebirth with my midwife, no harm in trying :)

Thanks ladies :)

If you're secretly hoping that the baby makes an "impromptu appearance" at home then I think it's really worth exploring the idea of a planned homebirth.

Unplanned and unassisted ones are a whole different ballgame.

why don't you just have a homebirht???

i've had an unassisted homebirth. it was a planned homebirht, but a very quick labour and ds3 arrived before anyone got there

i've also had an assisted homebirth, which was a fantastic experience.

bear in mind that if you do have a homebirth you'l have 2 midwives with you the entire time

compare that to my hospital experience with ds1. a trainee midwife every 5-10 minutes and my proper midwife every 20 minutes or so.

if there are complications they'll spot it, and get you transferred to hospital straight away.

Yes if you plan it, you can have gas & air at home - far more civilised! :)

Does your area do domino delivery? That way you can stay at home the maximum time before the MW decides to take you in.

I am planning a HB with my first, I'm now 39 weeks.

Your MW won't "offer" HB, you need to ask. I asked at booking in (told her I wanted HB, but would like to keep the hospital option open while I found out more about it), and still got put down as hospital with a query to HB, not the other way around.

I did allow myself to get put off the HB option, but just like you, found myself hoping for an accidental HB, then I realised that was silly and it would be much better to plan to have baby at home, both in terms of safety, and making sure I got the birth I really wanted.

If it comes to the crunch and you decide you do want to go to hospital, before, during or after a home birth, the option will be there for you, they aren't going to barricade you out of the labour ward because you changed your mind, for whatever reason.

If you need help deciding, it might be worth seeing if there is a home birth group in your area, where you can meet and informally chat with other mums and midwives. They won't try and persuade you, but they will give you a lot more info than you would usually get at a MW appointment.

Thanks for all your comments and suggestions..lots to think about!!! :)