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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Was it as bad as you had anticipated?

17 replies

Bumpybelly · 29/07/2010 14:12

I am dreading childbirth. Always have done and as i am getting closer to my due date and dreaading it even more. Scared of labour just happening like that and not knowing what to do, scared of tearing and the associated pain. Am going to be having hypnobirthing to help, but worried my fear will be to great

Has anyone out there been as scared as me yet when the birth came, it really wasn't as bad as they were worried it would be

OP posts:

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PlumBumMum · 29/07/2010 14:15

No definitely not
I kept in my head that in a few hours I would be holding a wee baby and it would all be a distant memory, it definitely got me through

thisisyesterday · 29/07/2010 14:16

first time i didn't think about it much and it was horrendous;. a million times worse than i thought it would be

second time i was quite scared because i knew what it would be like! so i informed myself, i learnt techniques to help me through it... and it was fantastic! yes, it hurt but i felt in control and i was so bloody proud of myself for doing it

in fact, it was so good i got pregnant fairly qujickly with yet another one" haha

i think hypnobirthing is a really good idea. the thing that got me through the really bad contractions was thinking about my baby, reminding myself that it was going to end soon (the contraction itself that is) and breathing!

PlumBumMum · 29/07/2010 14:16

I was scared and a couple of months before my baby was due my friend rang me to tell me she had just had a baby girl, and my first thoughts were
it didn't kill her and she sounds sooo happy!

gorionine · 29/07/2010 14:17

I think every single mom to be is scared of it one way or another. Especially when it is your first baby but not only.

It was easier than I though to give birth to DD1. Then people told me that I might have a harder time with the second so I was scared again but there was no horror story either for DS2.

Carried on being fine for Ds3 and Dd4 so I can safely say that for me it was not as bad as I expected, 4x!

CantSleepWontSleep · 29/07/2010 14:20

I didn't anticipate it being bad, and it was ok (all 3 times). I think that a positive mental attitude can help a lot, so do try to turn your thinking around.

going · 29/07/2010 14:22

I was really worried about labour with my first daughter. It wasn't as bad as I thought at all - was a pleasent suprise sa I was really worried!

WIth dd2 I was looking forward to it as I was so excitied about meeting my new baby and also having been through it before knew what to expect. Was a very easy birth.

With my son I was not at all worried until a few days before when a dr diagnose polyhydraminous and told me awful horror stories about what could go wrong. Thankfully all was fine but I was stressed which made things more painful than they could have been. Still quite an easy labour and birth.

For me the best thing to do was remeber that with each contraction, as each pain got stronger I was closer to meeting my baby.

Good luck!

Threelittleducks · 29/07/2010 14:26

It was ok actually. I dreaded the worst (alway do - pessimism has the benefit that everything is mostly always never as bad as you thought it was going to be) and tbh, it was painful for a bit but there were some lovely people, awesome painkillers and even when it ended in a section (that I NEVER wanted) it wasn't so bad.
In fact I'm about to go for an elcs with number 2. And now I have researched it and talked to consultant I have very little pessimism - which is very unlike me!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 29/07/2010 14:37

It was way better/easier than I thought it would be.

wigglesrock · 29/07/2010 14:45

It was about the same as I thought, the thing that kept me going was that I couldn't do anything about it!! The baby was coming out whether I wanted her to or not but I did recover much quicker than I thought - up and about with a lot less pain that I had thought!!

MoonFaceMama · 29/07/2010 15:12

No not at all! I only wanted gas and air as i wanted to feel in control and was worried that i wouldn't cope with just this. But i totally did, it was amazing. I tore but was so engrosed in the moment i barely noticed. I felt fantastic afterwards, really proud, and recovered quickly. It's really not that bad in spite of how it's portrayed on telly and by people who like to show off their horror stories. Read ina may gaskin for positive birth stories (just igno the slightly dated language)

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 29/07/2010 15:15

It was about as bad as I expected but in a different way as I had had an epi but I still felt pain in my back which was excrutiating with each contraction (OP baby) and I never expected the pain to be in my back, only in my stomach.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 29/07/2010 15:36

What I actually found harder was waiting for it and worrying than actually doing it if that makes sense?

I worried and worried then when it actually started I was so happy (although obviously very painful).

When you think about doing it is is awful - when you are actually doing it not so bad. No one would have second babies otherwise

I wont lie it was bad but in a different way to what I expected - actual contractions etc were not scary even though they were the most painful thing I had every experienced. A cliche but a different type of pain - I wouldnt go as far as saying positive but you know why your body is doing it. Its not as if your arm is hanging off type pain.

How far along are you now? A lot of mums wobble at around 33 - 37 weeks I think (have noticed this all 3 times and I think Sheila Kitzinger mentions it in her book). Then after that something clicks, you get so fed up that you just want it out NOW!!!

LuckyC · 29/07/2010 17:30

Was also terrified and para pre-birth. Actually didn;t realise I was in labour until 7.5 cms when finally went to hospital and was checked by midwife. Was surprised. Am idiot. (But was in denial as was only 36 weeks and had convinced myself would be late.)

It hurt, yes, but I was not in pain much more than I was in pain. The pain disappeared completely between contractions. Only got frightened of the pain - started thinking 'OK, I can't do this, want this to stop, don't want labour to progress any more as will hurt more' at 9 cms+ - classic transition stuff - at which point baby nearly there.

Also, was surprised at how high I felt - totally euphoric at times, must have been massive waves of hormones washing around me. Was fab. Thought I would be a screaming bitch but actually took me 17 hours to even say the F word once.

And I know it's the most irritating thing in the world, and I wanted to deck people for saying this to me before I had my DH1, especially as still did not really believe was going to have a baby even when was pushing - but my god it's all worth it when you see your baby. Amazing moment. Unbeatable.

Good luck!

harverina · 30/07/2010 01:08

No, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. Had an emergency C-section in the end. Of course it is painful, but I found the pain to be manageable.

I too felt quite euphoric at times and chatted alot - probably because I was a bit spaced out from the gas anbd air and diamorphine. luckyc is right, the pain goes away in between contractions so you have some respite.

I was terrified the night before I was induced. Very nervous on the way to the hospital, but all feelings of anxiety left me as soon as it all started.

Seeing your baby for the first time is the most amazing feeling in the whole wide worls. Focus on that if you can.

Valpollicella · 30/07/2010 01:15

It hurt a lot, but I kinda dealt with it in a way that I would not have normally dealt with that kind of pain iyswym?

Gas and air is farking marvellous - keep toking on it (if you can). You know the pain is there but you don't care

Take the drugs - no one gets a medal for a drug free labour. You wouldn't hhave tooth out without analgaesia (sp??)

Good luck

MoonFaceMama · 30/07/2010 10:07

val is completely right, no medals for drug free labour. But drugs can have side affects and other implications that you may wish to avoid so just do a bit of research. It's for each woman to make her own decision re pain relief.

Tillyscoutsmum · 30/07/2010 10:20

OP - I am the biggest wuss when it comes to pain. I'm also a bit of a control freak and hating the idea of not being able to control what was happening. I was petrified of labour and childbirth to the point that when I had some complications in pregnancy and there was talk of a possible ELCS, I was really glad.

As it was, I didn't have a CS (I was in tears for days when the consultant told me "we" were going to give natural labour "a go"). I had a great labour and birth. It was exhausting and it did hurt but it was also really positive. I had never felt more powerful in my life and the moment DD was put in my arms, I felt the most amazing whoosh of love and the previous 18 hours were worth every second . She was 9lb 12oz and I had no pain relief other than a TENS machine. I did tear but honestly didn't feel it at the time. My body just sort of "took over". I had gas & air for the stitches after and it was fantastic stuff. My second labour was more difficult (4 days !) and I had gas and air for that.

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