Having a wobble over VBAC

[Alicetheinvisible]

Baby is due in 11 days (not that i'm counting) and has been decided since march that i am going for a vbac. It was pretty much my choice, but apparently i am a good candidate for vbac.

DD was born after a 30 or so hr labour by emcs after failure to progress. I got to 5cms and she was getting distressed. It was calm and not stressful despite being an 'emergency' and afterwards i recovered so quickly i had said i would definitely have another cs. I was in hospital 2 nights (that was the worst of it tbh) but after the epidural had worn off i had no pain relief as i just didn't need it.

I have been fine about the vbac but recently started stressing about it. Is there any point if this is my last? (that is something else that has been bothering me, but a whole different discussion!) the baby is in a different position every day, legs one side, then the other and sometimes back to back.

I just don't think i can go through with the vbac tbh, the whole thought of it is becoming more and more terrifying

Hiya. I went for a VBAC 3 months ago and have to be honest and say I wish I'd had a csection again as I really wasn't expecting the "downstairs" problems I'm having (have just started another thread about them as am so distressed!).

I'm not in the best frame of mind at the moment so may not be that positive about VBAC and there are many success stories and they say that recovery is alot quicker than csection but consider the fact that you already know what you're dealing with with a csection and if it's your last anyway.

Think also of why you want a vbac. If it's just for the experience of a natural birth also remember that it's just a few hours in their whole life and it'll make no difference in a couple of years time how they were born.

Don't want to put you off or influence you eiher way but I would think about your reasons and what you want after the birth as opposed to the day itself.

Hope that helps!

Ah, poor thing - It is totally normal to be having a wobble.
I think every woman feels pretty wobbly approaching the birth of their baby, even if they have had 6 previous textbook VBs, even more so if they have had complications.

Can you put you finger on exactly what is worrying you?

Could you get your head round it by thinking - I will give this a whirl, knowing that at the first sign of trouble you can have another section?

I have had an EMCS , a planned section and a VBA2C. The EMCS was very calm, the planned section was awful, the VBA2C was fab. I totally had to persuade myself into it though.

Thank you for your honesty!

I don't want a vbac because of a desire to give birth or because of a traumatic experience like most people do.

It is more that i didn't like the idea of having the baby 'removed' when it wasn't ready, more than happy to go into labour then have a cs but know it is not done really.

Also the fact that we had said we would like a bigger family, but i am starting to wonder if actually two is going to be enough and if only having two means we can afford to send them to private school etc (like i said, whole other discussion) Also my age seemed to come into it as i am only 25, so they would rather i try for vbac, if i was in my late 30's they would suggest a cs.

Alice, if I'm not mistaken, I think you are in the same neck of the woods as me, and I have had 2 VBACs at the local maternity hospital. The staff there were great, and did listen to me, even at the point where I was asking for a section (which I didn't have in the end).

Is there something in particular that you're worrying about? I know I felt absolutely on top of the world after my VBAC, was out of hospital in 36 hours (would have been less but my BP took a bit to recover from the epidural) and it was a much better experience than my section.

mazzy i have certain restrictions/targets that have to be met, which i think that i have been hiding behind iyswim? Like not being able to be induced, having to get 1 cm an hour once in established labour etc and i think i have been expecting not to reach these. Only now am i starting to realise that i might and then have to push the baby out. I am petrified of having stitches or instrumental delivery.

Poledra i have no worries about the hospital itself.

Hi Alice - I am also going for a VBAC - I have had 2 normal births and the last one ECS,..honsetly the normal births were so much easier...but it is the fear of the unknown.. BUT think you can be up and about hours/minutes after birth not a day plus its not major surgery.

I keep telling myself this - but who doesn't have wobbles over labour...its going to hurt!

Well I was 40 when I had my VBA2C (12 weeks ago), and my age had nothing to do with it!

At 25 you have at least 15, maybe 20 years to want/need/accidentally fall pregnant with a 3rd child.

I know from my own experience that at 38 weeks it's easy to think "oh I'll just have a section", and I was never that fussed, personally, about wanting the experience of a VB per se. But I found the recovery so much easier - home the same day; felt back to normal after only a couple of days; compared to the elective section. And the experience, ad it turned out, was actually rather amazing.

Is your midwife nice? Can you go and talk to her about your anxiety?

Cazzy it is strange to think we may end up in there at the same time

Is it silly to be rather worried about ruining my pelvic floor, or being so sore down there i cannot sit properly for a week. I was back on my horse 3 weeks after my cs (yes i know it was silly and more luck than anything but...)

Before having DD my biggest fears were having an epidural, instrumental delivery or stitches. I was determined i would cope on G&A. This time i am almost planning on an epidural.

Alot of the damaage is done by pregnancy anyway ... not by labour.

Honestly I could sit fine after birth...

oh god think I am denial I am about to give birth! I love it when you tell people you are due tomorrow and they look at you like should you be out the house?

My MW is nice but i don't have a lot of confidence in her.

sorry x posts

alice I totally know what you mean, totally. induction etc all seem like get out clauses.

i went over by a week with this baby and had it in my head that most women deliver by term +10, and if I hadn't then maybe there was a reason...and I'd have a section (ie didn't actually have to decide anything myself. sidestepped the cm per hour thing by not going to hospital till i was ready to push....(and the pushing, if that is what worries you, was fucking intense but not awful, and done in less than an hour). i'd stipulated no forceps on birth plan, no-one had a problem with that -agreed would have a c/s if problems arose. did have a couple of stitches. not nice but nothing to stress about in themselves.

It would drag terribly if you had to stay in the house the whole time. I am planning on my waters breaking in John Lewis at the weekend, do you think i will get a hamper?

So i can put in my birthplan i would want to avoid an instrumental delivery if at all humanly possible?

would you be happy if your labour went the same way as last time?

sorry your midwife isn't confidence inspiring

Alice, I feel exactly the same! I am 39 weeks, and going for VBAC but my emergency CS was so trouble free last time I am not sure I want to bother with the VBAC.
I want to ride my bike asap afterwards, my friend couldn't ride a bike for 3 months after forceps delivery!! I know this is bad to be worried about things like this, and in general recovery will be easier, but still. Also really don't think I want more than 2 children, nor does DH.

If my labour went the same way i would at least feel in my comfort zone having been there before, despite knowing that it is far from ideal. I am sure it is just fear of the unknown and lack of confidence in my body being able to do something.

Childbirth is rather terrifying - however you do it, you have to get a whole little person out of you which still freaks me out and I've done it twice!

Have you thought about why you want a VBAC? It might help to focus on the positives rather than the negatives eg, being home possibly within 12 hours, being able to pick up DC1 and give them a cuddle as soon as you walk in the door etc.

I had a positive ELCS with DS and for DD I had a huge VBAC wobble - right up to being in labour - when my waters had gone, I'd had 2 nights of on/off contractions and the consultant popped in, and said yes, I think you'll be fine with a low level induction - we'll come and get you when there's a bed ready. I was ready to send DH after him and have them prep me for theatre! But my VBAC was an incredible experience - even with a ventouse delivery and stitches (and even with those, I was in much better shape afterwards than I was with my CS!)

Hi Alice-gosh I was in your position 3 years ago just before having DS2-had got to 10 cm with DS1 (after 24hr labour) pushed for 2 hours but he was HUGE (9lb 11) got stuck in awkward position and the only way he was coming out was EMCS! Like you had quick recovery & said would def opt for ELCS next time then actually decided to go for VBAC with DS2 with the absolute firm belief it would end up in CS....it didn't! I was induced and settled in for a long labour prob ending in cs but bless DS2 he had got himself into a cracking position labour was 3 hours start to finish and he was born with 2 pushes and a puff of gas & air...all 10lb 4oz of him! I was most put out I hadn't had time to have my pethidine ! I was so proud I had managed to give birth to him and it really was a most amazing exhilirating experience but after giving birth so quickly I bled heavily and tore very badly so actually although I felt better because I hadn't had a long labour it ironically took me longer to recover (needed a repair downstairs!)-but i do have huge babies! After much much much consideration I had an ELCS with DS3 a wonderful, calm, amazing birth and I loved it as my hospital listened to everything I wanted for the birth (lowered screen, quiet room, baby lifted out so i could check sex etc) but having 2 very active young children already the recovery was a lot different than with DS1!
Sorry this has dragged on but having had 3 very different birth experiences there is no easy option iyswim just what is right for you....for me a VBAC was def right with DS2 and I wouldn't change his birth for anything despite the damage (which I fully recovered from after a bit of help!) and an ELCS was def right for DS3 as I would have felt too frightened to push! All 3 births different, all 3 births gave me beautiful babies.....do what feels right as this will mean you feel positive and recover better no matter what birth you have!
Sorry have harped on & hth x

It really is something i have to decide myself isn't it?

I do not feel any guilt or bad feelings over my emcs as it wasn't my decision, all out of my hands and DD and i were both fine.

This time it is my decision, and while feeling like going for a cs is a bit of a cop out and i would be disappointed with myself for not trying, if i go for a vbac and it goes wrong then i would blame myself for not going for the easy option iyswim?

I want someone to say, "Well done, it is good you want a vbac but actually baby is the wrong way round (or something equally unthreatening) so we will have to go for a cs" which, lets face it is not going to happen!

I totally empathise with you Alice, if someone had been able to say to be "sorry baby is breech so a cs it it" I would have been over the moon coz the decision making itself was a total and utter nightmare.

For what its worth, I was down to go for a VBAC up until my 36 week appointment last week when I totally changed my mind (wasnt an instant decision had been praying on my mind for weeks and weeks) I sat and talked it through with hubby and friends and anyone who would listen and decided that something really was stopping me from feeling relaxed and happy about trying a VBAC. I had had a textbook labour 9hrs just gas and air, 2hrs pushing with DS1 but he was brow presentation so ended in a very scary EMCS.

The fear for me this time is it going wrong at the end and I knew that this would pray on my mind all the way through labour, would it happen again? etc
So I made the decision to go for a ELCS and since then have felt really at peace with the whole thing. I don't feel Im cheating or letting me or the baby down but doing whats right for us.

Just try and work out what would scare you the most, having an ELCS or ending up with another EMCS. I discovered through speaking to therapist at the hospital and reading various things that I had to have the perfect vaginal birth or I would feel like a failure and wish I had gone for a ELCS and as NO ONE can guarantee a perfect birth I've opted for a ELCS. Im just too scared to try a VBAC and Im not ashamed to admit that (now)
Good luck, its such a hard decision
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