1 week to go - getting wobbly!

[biggest]

After a horrible first birth experience, I am fast approaching due date number two and now starting to get the fear! I had high bp at 39 weeks last time, plus a baby with a dodgy ticker, so was induced at 39 weeks, WAY not ready.
Many interventions later DS was delivered by forceps and is a lovely healthy boy.
But this time, despite it being a normal (albeit knackering!) pregnancy I have been monitored closely and scanned a bit too much. BP is fine but now baby is measuring big so I am waiting for results of a GTT and yet another growth scan in a week.
So now my mind is racing - can I do another induction, should I have a caesarean, how big will baby be, will I need forceps again?
I think I just need some words of encouragement please and some hand holding over the next few days if anyone is up for it!

Pass me your hand and I'll give it a squeeze

You don't have to have all of the tests and scans if you don't want to.

No one knows how much your baby will weigh, diagnostic scans or not.

Don't let yourself be ruled by fear.

Clear all of the MW and Consultants comments from your head, and what do YOU think about the situation? What do YOU want to do about the birth?

Didn't want this to go unanswered. I've got no experience as such, but just wanted to let you know am thinking of you. Can you concentrate on the probability that things will be easier this time? Inductions and forceps are not the normal - and if it looks from the GTT and scans as though you may need them, you've got a good case for asking for C-section..

Biggest - congratulations, you are nearly there!

Of course you need a bit of hand holding after a horrible first experience - especially as you feel you've been monitored a bit too much this time.

I'm a trainee Doula and would be happy to have a chat/email conversation with you about your concerns and plans. You don't have to be monitored or induced etc. if you don't want to be and am happy to talk all this through with you. It's good practice for me!

I've got CAT messaging enabled or I can give you my website where you can get my email (rather not post it on here).

I know I could have avoided all of the scans this time and been more assertive but as soon as I cross the threshold of a doctor's office I lose all confidence in my own ability to make the right decision - and the fear of making the wrong one and putting baby's health in danger. So I accept what they say and then rant to my DH when I get home!
I am really trying to stay positive and taking it a day at a time but it is that decision making that I feel completely out of my depth about. WHat if I get it wrong?
Thanks for your kind offer rebeccad - do give me your website address if you can

www.hackneydoula.co.uk

Drop me a line via my email address on the site and we can chat a bit more about it. We can talk about techniques to clarify the info you are getting and see whether you want to take certain recommendations or not. Your DH can also help in this.

It is really hard to be assertive in front of the experts - don't beat yourself up about it - just remember you are actually the expert on your own body!

p.s. really not trying to advertise my site - just feel a bit funny posting my email on here

Ah, we're neighbours!

Really?

Where are you based?

Same as you - will drop you a line tomorrow as off to bed now

Great - drop me a line. We can always meet for a coffee as we're so local!