Four year old ‘doesn’t want to be real’

[Amysullivan]

twice this week at bedtime my four year old has said he ‘doesn’t want to be real’ I thought it was Toy Story related but tonight I asked him what he means by that and he said he ‘doesn’t want to be in the world’. I asked him calmly if anything has upset him but he said no so I didn’t push it and he fell asleep quite quickly after but this has broken my heart. What do I do with this?

Be careful of reading too much into it.
Keep an open conversation about emotions and check in every day in a calm and casual way
Dont automatically assume it is suicidal ideation, at that age it could be anything.
Make sure you’re aware of any external influence such as online usage (although probs not at that age - but just saying as many kids I work with, parents say they have the device locked down but in reality they don’t)
Checking out meaning with him, and not leading the conversation - he may well have forgotten about it or he may want to say more but he’s very young so again, this could be lots of things

Agree with PP try not to read too much into it whilst keeping a general eye on him.
Young children can struggle with the idea of fantasy and reality.
Some might want to be Spider-Man or Superman for example. I’ve observed some children who take this to an extreme level.
Interesting that you immediately thought of Toy Story. Maybe keep an eye on what he’s watching even with you. Some themes in Toy Story are difficult for young children. I believe the latest one is a PG rating. I’ve not seen it.
Is he generally sensitive or a worrier? It must have been upsetting to hear. Is he in Reception or due to start? Just wondering about transition visits and if that could be behind it? The reality of school every day? Just a thought.

I wonder if something is bothering him that he can’t explain. Does he have any sensory preferences that could be wearing for him? Just thinking how loud and busy a school is for the little ones.

That would be awful to hear. But as others have said, try not read into it. Especially as you have interpreted it as an adult. As a 4yo, he might mean something quite different.

At 3, my DS would always say he wants to "live in Bing" meaning he loved the way things were there. And I agreed lol. Bing's world is lovely. There's a chance he could have rephrased it by saying he doesn't want to live in this world, but he thankfully didn't. The real world looks absolutely shit to alternatives on kids TV shows. That's probably what your DS is getting at.

Maybe it would help to get tly ask what he doesn't like about the real world and then mention all the great things about the real world - nature, food, his friends/family, etc.

I wouldn't read much into it unless you have any other reasons to be worried. My 5yo DS is constantly talking about what's real and not real, it's part of growing up and learning about the world around them.

At this age it could just be as simple as thinking that it looks more fun to be in a superhero cartoon where people go on adventures and have powers and you never see them doing chores or paperwork. I'd be attentive to his feelings but agree with PP, be careful about interpreting what he said through an adult lens.