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Child mental health

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Worried about 17-year-old daughter after possible past abuse

5 replies

MyPlumShaker · 26/06/2026 19:11

Hello, I'm looking for advice regarding my 17 year old daughter cora. Since lockdown her mood has gradually got worse. She doesnt leave her bedroom, doesnt speak to anyone (myself included). I spoke with her yesterday as she was upset and she told me she hates everyone and everything, doesnt trust anyone, has no feelings etc.

When she was 3 I met someone (tom) who was great at first, however became controlling and abusive towards me. He wasn't very nice to her either towards the end of our relationship (he became addicted to drugs - i ended our relationship in 2021 ). Cora was a normalish girl up until a few weeks into lockdown. Tom had to stop working so was at home all of the time, this is when Cora started to stay upstairs and became distant. I tried getting her help, through school and the Dr's and everything has failed.

Last night after a disagreement with her and her sister, I took both of their phones. I had a little look through hers, to see if there was anything on there with her saying she hated everyone, including her friends. I came across messages to her friend from 2023 speaking of tom. She told her friend 'abusive peado old stepdad' and 'watching her in the shower when she was 10' and 'more'. This has really concerned me as if it is right that he did something to her, it would explain why she has been like she has for the last few years. Ive tried to speak to her but not told her I know of the messages and she claims she can't remember back then.

I want to get to the bottom of this and get answers and her the help she needs. She starts college in September but im extremely worried for her future and how she is going to cope.

mum

OP posts:
MumOfOne90 · 26/06/2026 19:13

Go to the police immediately! Don’t ask her any leading questions they won’t stand up in court! Through the police you will access therapy, counselling and all the help you need! I’ve been through it myself with my daughter and she’s finally her old self after 3 years of stress!!!

Trumptontown · 26/06/2026 19:15

It’s probably a good idea to edit your post and take your child’s name out of it

MyPlumShaker · 26/06/2026 19:17

These arent their names

OP posts:
TeachWithMissM · 26/06/2026 23:02

I would definitely look into NHS talking therapies if she is willing - in several places you can self-refer to this! Is there an adult in her life that she particularly trusts and might open up to?

PurpleLovecats · 26/06/2026 23:04

This is very difficult. I think it would be hard to approach the police without anything more substantial but it does seem that something had happened to change her. Would she attend therapy do you think? Could you tell her you’ve read her messages?

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