Should I tell a parent about a child's self-harm post?

[Withatraceofmisty]

DD, 12, has used my phone to keep in touch with some of her friends on whats app. I therefore can see some of their notifications/ stories.

One of her friends posted this evening a 3 part update, with trigger warning self harm, photo of cuts on her arms and a comment about body dysphoria.

I'm not close to the girls parents. I know them to say hello etc,. Should I mention to the mum what I've seen?

yes.

You know nothing about the home life.
Contact school safeguarding instead

Would you want to know if this was your 12 year old?

Yes x tricky and upsetting but yes.

What would you hope the friend's mum would do if the situation was reversed? That's your answer.

Report to school. They can make a judgement call based on what they know about this child and likely refer to social care. I would not contact parents as you don’t know what’s going on for this child. Don’t do nothing though!

School are generally useless. I'm not sure they'd do anything based on a whats app sent outwith school hours.

Report to your safeguarding lead at school.

Also, talk to your own child about taking care of her own MH and that she isn't responsible for the MH of others.

Agreed, tell the school

The DSL has a responsibility to act. They will triage on the basis of need, bit will still act.

Tell your DSL either way. If you know the child/parent we'll enough tell them too. But some parents will respond defensively or negatively.

I would tell school and parent

Yes please do. As a mum who has recently been made aware that my daughter is self harming I would appreciate your concern.

Yes definitely tell the parents. I had an almost identical situation a couple of years ago and told the parents immediately. I'd want to know if it were my daughter too.

Thanks all. Looks like I have to bite the bullet and have that conversation.

If the situation were reversed, I would definitely want to know.

Yes.

Yes, I was that mum, I knew anyway but I was grateful that someone cared enough about DD to tell me about it.

Absolutely do let the parents know. I’ve been in this situation and am eternally grateful to the dad that spoke to me. I was able to speak to DD and get her help. Please do let them know.