OCD - my panic in dealing with it

[overnightgoats]

My nearly 14 year old son is spiralling into an ocd crisis. It's been coming on for a while but massively escalated over the past month. We are accessing private therapy whilst we wait for Camhs (who knows how long for). First session was this week. But I am really, really struggling with guilt and catastrophic thoughts that this is it. He has a physical disability already that means he needs our help with self care and I've just enabled all of his compulsions and now I am part of the routines. Now we can't get out of them and they take hours and hours a day. The worst part is he hits himself in the head and scratches at his face so I dont see how ERP is going to work. I am just so tired and scared. I feel like I am constantly having a panic attack, heart racing and I can't stop crying. I am trying to work too but had to take the last two days off. I dont know the point of this but any hopeful stories would be welcome.

First things first, go to the GP and get signed off work for at least a fortnight. It doesn’t sound like you’re well enough to work and it will allow you to concentrate on your son.

Private therapy is a good start - can you increase the frequency at first? Is it with a psychiatrist who’s able to prescribe as he may need medication to get him to a level where he can engage properly with therapy.

High dose sertraline is very effective for ocd but for a 14 year old you will need a child psychiatrist to prescribe. Can you afford to go private? This and therapy will be the most effective combination rather than therapy alone.

Thank you both. Clinical psychologist so I dont think can prescribe? It ages to even find her :( Another issue could be getting him to even taken medication.
I know I should be signed off, I feel like I am letting everyone down.
Sorry I am in a complete doom spiral...

‘Everyone’ can do one. You only need to worry about showing up for yourself and your son.

Screw work - get signed off.

I would look for a child psychologist as medication could be a significant part of this and currently isn’t accessible to you.

I know, can you guess i am a people pleaser and now suspecting reassurance ocd type thinking in myself...

I have looked and I can't see any locally that would treat him at 14 😥 Will ask the therapist on Tuesday how we could approach.

We are also asking his disability team to follow up with camhs as its impacting him physically (poor circulation already plus constantly soaked in sanitiser is awful) and he can't do physio, exercise etc as not time and too exhausted

We also self reported to social services because of how awful his bruising and scratching is. Teachers ask about it etc
Even though the sen team know what's happening.

Took 5 hours to get to bed tonight... least we hopefully have a lie in tomorrow...

Hi OP, virtual handhold here as I’m going through similar with my 9 year old 💔 self injurious behavior and all consuming phobia/OCD.
Definitely take off what time you can.
Equally after a break, I’ve found work a nice refuge (but I’m remote and I’ve gone PT to manage this- may not be the case for you .)

I have felt suffocated, I get your are his safe person but can anyone else try and build a connection with him (family etc) to give you an hour? And keep building on this.
I found I was absolutely drowning when we first descended into this new world of OCD madness, but after a while of it being my reality I’m doing ok (well sort of :( ) and intermittently have enough fight in me to advocate.

I would definitely look into a private psychiatrist if you can find/borrow the money, the wait for CAMHS here has been actively damaging to my daughter and we are still waiting as she’s “complex” (3 months after being prioritised and a hospital admission later.) So I’ve borrowed to get a private psychiatrist, CBT/ERP therapist and dietitian (still only had 1 appointment).

I think CBT/ERP with SSRIs can be hugely helpful from what I’ve heard for OCD - tho like you getting to the stage they can take the meds is another story. My DD is so stuck she feels anxious if she feels happy or has a normal day, as she feels it may put her at risk. She is scared to get better as it were :(

Anyway just waffling on to say you are not alone and people do recover from this, I keep telling myself. Best wishes

@sweetpeaorchestra a hand hold back to you too. It's just so exhausting isn't it. And all the time just wanting to say "well don't do it!" when they are distressed by it all.

We had a better session yesterday I think and we have heard he will be on the next camhs review panel. Because of his physical disability we are approaching non reversible set backs in his physical function long term so his Paediatrician and school have both followed up on the original referral.

The really stupid thing is his dad is the stay at home parent but I am the one now part of the ocd. I am really aware there's a whole heap of stuff to unpick about that.... also I am definitely making it worse, panicking and adding new compulsions.

I am starting counselling for myself tomorrow, hoping that helps me find a bit of balance.

Look at Natasha Jenkins on YouTube, she has good stuff for teenagers on OCD. I agree having been in a similar situation with my daughter that Sertraline was what gave her the space to start fighting back. Without it I hate to think how we would have ended up. I couldn’t get GP to prescribe and ended up going private through Clinical Partners. We’re a few years on now and she’s doing well. It’s an awful awful debilitating mental health condition, it will change, like others have said get signed off and give yourself a chance to think about how to tackle this. Very very best of luck I know how horrible the feeling of being stuck and scared is.

Thank you @RobinGoch and so glad for your DD, how well she has done (and you 🤗). I have a parent session with the private psychologist tomorrow and will ask her what she does when it appears medication would help ie does she have someone she would refer into...

He is trying so hard, this week we have had hours of distressed wailing and shouting but very little hitting or scratching, you can see how hard he is trying. Also quite a bit of shitty talking to me, but under all this, there's still a teenage boy, but all dialled up to maximum! And who can't go and do anything physical to get out that frustration.

Onwards... 🥰