5 year old reactions (and eating)

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My 5 year old is quite typical in most ways, I think. She can be reasonable, and can have outbursts which I thought would have passed by now, but tonight’s was extreme, and I’m worried by what she said.

She takes ages to eat, and it’s annoying me a lot. Sometimes she will refuse for ages to try something new, or eat something a bit different, and then when she tried it, she likes it. Are dinners are mainly:

pasta with pesto (pistachio or basil)
quinoa with roast veg and tofu
curry with rice. Not at all spicy
orzo pasta bakes with cherry tomatoes and tofu
udon or soba noodles with veg
pasta with roast veg and seitan sauce.

we do these dinners on rotation so once or twice a week, when it’s curry or quinoa, it’s just painful. “X please can you eat “ etc etc. takes ages and just delays everything. Eventually someone spoon feed her usually and I just hate it. I decided tonight there’s no more dessert if there is a battle at dinner. I’m too tired of it. She was so angry at the thought of no dessert, which is usually yogurt and fruit, that she started hitting her head, crying, and saying she wanted to die. I stopped her, calmed her down quickly, and she ate. No dessert tonight but this reaction was shocking.

i just don’t know what to think or do! I’m not changing what we cook, and we’re not giving her pasta every night as she would ideally like. She loves tofu and most vegetables, but not so much in a curry. She will however eat it if push comes to shove and a good puddingpudding is up for grabs. We have bribed her before with chocolate or mango yoghurts. But I don’t want to do this anymore. I just want a normal dinner time. Also worried that the one year old will start to copy either the extreme reactions or the reluctant eating.

By myself with the two kids a few nights a week, and if the 5 year old isnt in bed by a certain time, then I don’t think she gets enough sleep. She has to get up quite early. She wants to read a million books bed and obviously managing this with the other one is a handful.

Maybe she hates some of the meals you regularly cook? She can force it down sometimes if she’s really hungry and feeling up to forcing herself, but sometimes she just can’t, and gets upset knowing there’s going to be pressure, and she’s going to end up hungry. The extreme reaction to the withdrawal of dessert is understandable, since that would be the only part of the meal she looks forward to.

You said “I won’t change what we cook” - with respect, why the hell not?! A member of your household appears to have different food preferences to yours (that is actually allowed, she’s a person!) and given that she’s already following a vegan diet because of your preferences, I would have thought it even more important that you try to give her food she can eat without it distressing her. Lots of adults don’t like tofu/curry/seitan/whatever. She eats most of it, so fgs meet her halfway and drop the siege mentality.

Thank you. Yes, a few weeks ago I was ill and couldn’t cook. They had acodado toast and loved it. Fine for a one off, I just thought it didn’t really constitute a balanced meal. But maybe it is fine with a few things on the side.

Just a note on the vegan issue that so many people have, every parent “forces” their children to eat what they eat. Again, she doesn’t want to eat meat! And again, it’s the time everything takes, and I am possibly expecting her to eat more than she wants to. Again, apart from curry and quinoa with roasted veg, she likes the food we cook! Again, she would happily eat tofu or seitan all day if I let her!

How are 7 dishes a week containing only carbs and vegetables balanced meals?

Sigh. Vegans just cannot be reasoned with. You'll see the truth in the future.

Give her the pudding first or serve it with dinner, you shouldn't withold this if you continue to make dessert an option you control and a treat you will cause issues.
Treat all dinner time food the same and relax a lot, don't make this a control issue.

Then stop giving her curry! Plenty of perfectly healthy and normal adults don’t like curry. Same goes for quinoa. It’s not a failure of parenting if you compromise with your children.

They were examples….we do cook other things but these are our go to recipes on busy weekday nights.… so yes, we do often eat the same things!

I’ll try this! Thanks!

Let go of 'a balanced meal' and just aim for a healthy diet overall.

You seem overly worried about food.

Let her eat pasta every day
Let her eat yogurt and fruit.
Relax.

Yes, might stop these for a while.

I think her diet is really healthy. So happy she likes a lot of veg and other healthy things. I’m annoyed about the time she takes to eat, but more worried about her extreme reaction tonight.

What a load of utter bollocks.

Of course you don't need to give a child meat.

The vegan diet described by the OP is far superior nutritionally than giving a child meat!

No, every parent doesn't force their child to eat what they eat. Most parents do not remove two important food groups from their children's diet- meat and dairy.
Your child is basically being fed plants and not being given a choice about meat, fish, eggs, dairy, foods that a lot of kids love to eat because they are full of healthy fats and protein.
You are limiting your child's diet because of your own personal choices.

Yes but you're unreasonable expecting her to eat quickly, and her distressed reaction to your food control is not unusual.

If her diet is healthy, why are you being so controlling about her eating?

I just can’t give her pasta every night! But thank you for the points, you’re right, she does eat healthy foods, and my expectation on quantity and the time it takes need to be adjusted I think.

Lmfao, oh jesus Christ. The amount of people on this thread that have not a single clue about nutrition is appalling.

"Just let her eat pasta every day!" Are you actually serious?

Kids do need meat. You know why? Cos they are human beings. Adults need meat, too. Everyone does. You dont have to look hard to see how many kids and adults have died from consuming only vegan diets. You don't have to look hard to see the plethora of health ailments a vegan diet causes. It should be classed as child abuse.

And yeah, everyone's gonna call me insane, which is so hilariously ironic. At least I don't value the lives of animals over my own children.

I think you’re being very controlling and forceful. It’s going to create a negative association with eating. Who cares if she doesn’t like certain meals; most adults dont like certain meals. I’d recommend you read Sarah Ockwell Smiths book about eating and children. I don’t know why you want to encourage her to rush to eat a meal, thats very unhealthy( she should eat at her own pace so she can listen to when she is full

I don’t eat much meat and some things my 5 year old boy loves:

home made sweet potato chips
or homemade normal chips (in oven) kids need loads of carbs
quorn southern fried bites

green beans with garlic butter on them
garlic bread (you can get vegan)
baked beans
mini pizzas
macaroni cheese with Cauli and broc in

I’m sure you can use vegan cheese in these. Possibly your menu may need a switch up. I’d try the home made oven chips first he loves them.
kids can’t have much salt but we put a dash on, and some paprika he loves it

hope this helps

Pleading with her and spoon feeding her is ridiculous! You're turning mealtimes into a battleground and giving her the weapons! Just put the food in front of her, let her eat which bits of it she wants, and leave what she doesn't. Chill out, make happy relaxed conversation, don't focus on her or her eating and just lead by example by eating your own without drama.

Finally, another commenter with sense and an actual education on nutrition! Thank God.

Not sure, just think she should eat her whole meal, or most of it, without asking/nagging her, as I don’t give her huge portions. She only has a slightly bigger portion than the 1 year old because he is an excellent eater at the moment.

Avocado on toast is great occasionally. As is a toasted sandwich.

I really lile this lady for quick dinner suggestions- there are lots of veggie options I don't know how many are vegan. Taming twins https://www.tamingtwins.com/category/recipes/main-courses/vegetarian/

OP, I'd ignore the meat brigade. They're stuck in the 1950s and don't understand nutrition.

The idea that you're forcing your beliefs is also ridiculous. Every parent raises their child with whatever morals they feel is correct. Some ignorantly feed their children carcinogenic products, such a bacon, for example - but that's their view on what is right.