Best type of therapist for young person with anxiety, possibly neurodivergent

[allthethings]

I'm writing this in child mental health as more likely DD needs a similar approach to adolescents as she's barely out of her teens.

She withdrew from university during her first year as wasn't able to cope due to her anxiety and she needed to come home. We couldn't get her to stay and utilise support whilst there.

We want to get her some counseling for her anxiety but not CBT. Something that is known to work best with neuro divergence. She's not yet keen to get an assessment and it has to be her choice.

She wants to tackle her anxiety. She has self esteem issues and a high fear/panic response to doing new things, going new places etc.. to the point of avoidance. Her world is very small. And without help I can't see how she will be able to do anything with her life either career-wise or following hobbies, and interests or meeting new people. Luckily she has a lovely part-time job she can go back to, so she's not housebound and at work she will come across as someone who can chat easily to colleagues and customers. But she will come home exhausted.

Is it best to get face to face or can online therapy work for this age group? From what I read, things that are important are emotional regulation, considering the nervous system, perhaps DBT or ACT. But when I look up local counselors, all I see is 'integrative therapists' but without specifics.

How can I find the right kind of therapist for DD?

When I was faced with a similar set of circumstances for my DC at a similar age, I chose a psychologist with experience in working with young adults. I also accompanied them to the GP (at that stage they wouldn’t have been able to go alone) and they were prescribed Sertraline which also helped.

There are a few neuroafirming therapists out there, I am neurodivergent and have been trying to find therapists for my younger children. There are a few on psychology today who seem clued up.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/1691698

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/stacey-campbell-maidstone/1017436

I have personal experience of both of these being very neuroaffirming, Stacey for my younger teen and Maria for myself. There are more if you sift through on the site. It is partly a case of finding the right fit. I agree CBT isn’t the best approach for ND folk a lot of the time.

I have just found someone to help my DS who is 20, ADHD diagnosed and he thinks he is autistic too but it's undiagnosed. He's not working and getting more and more depressed as well as his usual high anxiety. He refuses to see a doctor, counsellor or therapist but I found a life coach and he was up for it. She is so amazing. He's in such a good mood for days afterwards and it's really making a difference to his life (only had 2 sessions). She works over zoom and is £50 per hour.

www.melheatleylifecoaching.co.uk/

My son used a life coach and it has opened his world up significantly.
Brilliant Coaching

It’s not always the type of therapy that is most important. The therapist needs to be one your child connects to, and one you feel safe with. Look for someone who is well trained and has done their own work. Ideally trained to masters level.
look for UKCP or BPC therapists who have done an integrative training. Most importantly let her choose who she likes the look of.
In person therapy is often helpful if you can find someone, but if she is too anxious, online will be fine. I’d always choose someone nearby so there is an option for in person work.

A friend of mine was in a very similar position, and finding a therapist who understood anxiety alongside possible neurodivergence made a huge difference. They actually started with online therapy, which worked far better than they expected. You could also have a look at Therachange if she's open to online support. They have some thoughtful information about how anxiety and neurodivergence can overlap, which helped make sense of things. I hope she finds someone she really clicks with.

I’d recommend DBT. It is such an effective form of therapy. I was a very anxious neurodiverse young person and it changed my life in my 20s.
It usually involves 1-1 therapy as well as group work, so it’s quite intensive. I found out reassuring working alongside other people with issues, to realise I wasn’t the only one- whilst also having time to speak to a therapist privately.