Overwhelming emotions in dd12

[Hghlandlooo]

Dd12 is quirky, clever, sociable, extroverted in many ways. She has a diagnosis of dyslexia and has had issues with anxiety and overwhelming emotions. She will at times get very upset to the point I would say of a panic attack when at school. She can’t explain why and she absolutely hates the loss of control to the point that it makes her anxious to think she might became upset. She has recently moved schools which she says has been really positive after really not liking her previous school (no refusal but anxious and tearful about going). She has had counselling previously as her brother has a LD and at the time made family life quite challenging but it was pretty rubbish. Any suggestions on what we can do to help her

I was very like that as a child. I was diagnosed dyslexic as a kid muddled in fine then puberty hit and I fell a part somewhat. I was an adult when I got my autism and adhd diagnosis. Sooo much made sense and I suddenly was managing my emotions just fine after years of having it labelled mental health struggles. I’m actually very angry that will all the “help” I received no one ever considered neurodiversity and it was always attributed to mental health and therefore something I could and should’fix’. I lost my teens and my 20s to it. Once I got the correct diagnosis I literally was fine overnight, made changes to accommodate my differences and can function fully and manage my emotions as well as any person- it was the constantly striving to be like everyone else and manage the same things everyone else could they had me constantly overwhelmed and reacting. If I were you I would read up on autism and adhd in girls and see if either fits how she is. Maybe I’m projecting but I wish someone had considered it for me or told me to consider it. Late 30s now and still not over the trauma of some of what happened to me if I’m honest

Dyslexia is a type of neurodiversity just like dyspraxia, ASD, ADHD etc it's not unusual to have more than one condition - DS has ASD and dyspraxia. Definitely read up as the PP suggested and see if anything fits - don't believe that because she is extroverted that she can't be autistic either.

Maybe talk to her school SENCO and see if they have any suggestions or if there's anything they could put in place to help and support her. If she feels like she is going into a panic perhaps there's somewhere she could go - pastoral care perhaps. Just knowing she has that option might even mean that she never needs to use it.

I would also look carefully at exactly what times are causing her to go into a panic - if speaking up in class makes her go into a panic then a reasonable adjustment might be for her not to be asked to speak up in class for example. If you can work out what is causing the panic then you might be able to find ways for her to be able to deal with it.

Thank you so much for replying @Burntt and @savemetoo I definitely agree that there may be co morbidity going on. We are quite a ND family and she’s used to hearing about people’s differences. The difference is where the rest of us would like to hide away she wants to be out there singing and public speaking 🤦‍♀️ She throws herself into things so intensely that the emotions just seem to bubble up out of no where (or perhaps everything). IShe’s gotten very upset today and spent some time in LS. I asked her about it and she said she was laughing with a friend and then just started crying. Then her friend asked if she was ok which just made it worse. Pastoral had emailed me about it so I shall talk to them and learning support and see what they have to say. Thanks again

Hi, I'm aware that this was posted a couple of weeks ago so I don't know if this is relevant, but that last part stuck out to me quite a bit- the quick change of emotions between laughing and then crying. Is it possible that it is hormones? Has she started her period? Sometimes my daughter finds that when her period is due or she is in the middle of it, the smallest things can set her off. Sometimes she cries even when she isn't sad. She started her periods when she was 12.

Even if this isn't the case, it's not easy growing up, especially not as a neurodiverse person. It's very common for neurodiverse children to be fine as kids, but once they hit puberty/secondary school things go a bit haywire. Maybe she's just incredibly anxious but doesn't know how to express it, so it comes out as tears and panic attacks.

Another thing I would be wondering is if she is overtired? How much sleep does she get?

I hope things get better for her x