Does my 8 year old have OCD?

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Very recently (weeks not months) I've noticed that my 8 year old DS has some slightly repetitive or obessive behaviour. For example, when I kiss him, he always has to have the last kiss. He has to straighten his duvet cover so that it covers the end of his bed in a straight line.

I asked him about this tonight, in a very relaxed way. He was smiley and happy and told me that if he doesn't do it, he feels like it will ruin his day. He also told me he taps his fingers against his hand in 3 sets of 3. And again, said if he doesn't, he thinks it will ruin his day.

I'm very thrown by this and not sure what to do. He's genuinely very happy and i wouldn't describe him as anxious. He is in Cubs and football and keen to try new things. I'd say he has a secure relationship with me and his dad (DH) and his older brother and sister. He sleeps well and i wouldn't describe him as a child who worries.

I don't want to make a big deal.of it, maybe its a passing phase? But equally I feel alarmed and I'd like to do anything to help him break these habits.

Thanks for any advice.

Bump

Hi. When I was eleven, I started with compulsive behaviour, to offset something bad happening. I had a little counselling. But nothing too specialist. I wish that I had been given more specialist assessment. I am nearly 60 and still suffer with OCD. It’s not too bad now but was horrendous in my 20s.

I was never diagnosed, however I would behave in a similar way as a child. I had to touch with my right hand only, if the left even brushed something then I would immediately correct by touching the same thing again 6 times with my right etc. It wasn't until years later I realised this was OCD behaviour.

I’m in my 30s now and don’t do this any more, or if I find myself thinking about it I can quickly reason with myself.

it could well be a phase as you’ve suggested. I would keep an eye for now, try not to draw attention to it unless you notice it’s getting worse.

Have you checked with school if they’ve noticed these repetitive behaviours in class?

My ds did similar at 11. You need to nip it in the bud now before it gets worse. He needs coping strategies to learn to resist the compulsions. He might always have the intrusive thoughts and compulsions but if he can learn to deal with them now ,then he will be much better than trying to deal with them later when they have gotten worse.

This book was really helpful.

Tamar Chansky - Freeing your child from obsessive compulsive disorder.

It does sound quite OCDish. My 15year old son has Asperger’s and is having counselling for OCD. I know more about autism than OCD, but have read that it’s good to support them with ‘exposure’ to the uncomfortable feeling, i.e. not carrying out the ritual and realising that nothing bad happens.

Thank you all.

I'm conflicted between keeping a watching eye for a few weeks and acting immediately to nip it in the bud.

If its a phase or something low-level I don't want to massively make him focus on it and make it worse.

Thinking over it, for a few months he says exactly the same thing to me when I'm leaving his room at Bedtime, "mummy you're going to go downstairs, do some jobs then come up and go to bed" and I reply- sometimes I say yes, sometimes I tell him I'm going to do something different etc and he seems fine. I've always thought he's kind of making sense of what's happening in the house when he's asleep.

Around a similar age my daughter started displaying OCD behaviours. Repetition and also compulsively collecting litter from the streets on the way home from school. It really did start to spiral. The school got the school nurse involved and it was really helpful. She recommended a book which worked fantastically well for my daughter (and also my godson who has recently displayed tendencies). The book is called ‘What to do when your brain gets stuck’. It’s really engaging and age appropriate.

I had to act to nip it in the bud as her compulsions were starting to cause her distress, not to mention the fact she would pick up anything and everything from the street, cigarette butts, dirty plasters, you name it and she’d pick it up and hide it in her room.

I’m happy to say she is absolutely fine now, she’s thriving. The only sign of any obsessive behaviour is that we have to have four kisses every night and our old dog has to have 40 kisses and the young one 20. Not sure whether I should be offended by that but given that she wouldn’t go into class without giving me 100 kisses at one point, I’ll take it!

It sounds like you’re very level headed in terms of not making a big deal out of it which is great!

I’d try to nip it in the bud, but not on your own! You need to know what you’re doing. Can you get a referral to a child psychologist who specialises in the area?

My DC has OCD which started around that age or even earlier. CAMHS told me children didn’t get OCD. They were wrong, and it’s still a major issue for DC (adult now). I so wish we’d be able to access effective help at an early age. I did try books like pp did but they didn’t work in our case. So I would act if I were you. Hopefully he doesn’t have it as bad as my DC but best to act I think.

For us the issue was complicated as DC also has Aspergers and repetitive behaviours are common with that, often used positively to self soothe. But OCD is different and the fact that your DS says it will ruin his day if he doesn’t do it would be a warning sign for me. That sounds classic OCD to me (unqualified but years of experience unfortunately). Seek help and best of luck to you and your DS. He’s lucky to have you to help him.

Thanks everyone, this is all helpful.

I think many (most?) of us can have some of these tendencies and it’s easy to slip into the “it’ll ruin my day” thought process.
I remember lying in bed as a teenager and getting up, straightening the desk stool “just so”, getting back into bed….repeat MANY times. I was old enough to know I had to nip it in the bud. I guess the ability to do that vs how people diagnosed with OCD manage is the crux of the issue.
I would so some research and see what you can do yourself before escalating but def don’t ignore.

Hey. You've had so many helpful replies but I have recently been going through similar with my 8 year old. I was feeling the same as you, I didn't want to highlight it to them but equally felt I needed guidance. Took several weeks for a doctors appointment which was today. They've referred for support, and said Its likely it will take months anyway, and if we feel we don't need the support then that's fine, but better to get the ball rolling. X