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Child mental health

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Daughter alone at school

6 replies

Summerluvin1 · 12/11/2025 22:15

I'm sorry if this doesn't come under children's mental health as such but i wasn't sure which topic to put it under!

So dd 11 started secondary school in September, the school itself has zero issues, she loves the lessons and teachers (not so much the homework!) But I was thrilled she settled in so quickly. The issue is friendships. So she has/had a best friend we shall call Daisy. They were slas thick as thieves in year 6 and the start of this school year but unfortunately she has been 'dropped' by daisy for new friends. My dd is pretending shes fine but I know her, she's so quiet and subdued, so I really pushed it tonight and she said she is alone at lunch and has noone to be with and she would rather sit in the lessons because its better than being alone at lunch. I'm so upset for her. She really is a lovely, funny child and it just upsets me she feels like this. I can't go to the school as its not as if shes being teased or bullied which obviously is a serious issue, but looking for some reassurance thag this is just a temporary blip and school friends are easy to make!

OP posts:
50Balesofgrey · 12/11/2025 22:18

Do the school have lunchtime clubs that she could go to? I sympathise, you could have written this about mine.

mismomary · 12/11/2025 22:21

She will figure this out. It's tough right now but she will find her tribe, and will gain resilience during this tough time. Lunchtime clubs are a great idea, and the library, just while she finds her friends. Might take a term, might take two. She will get there.

REDB99 · 12/11/2025 22:24

A lot of schools do have provision to help support with this. I’d have a quiet word with her form tutor or head of year. There are often lunch time places or clubs that pupils can go to. Your daughter sounds lovely, I’m sure she’ll find a great group of friends soon.

CountFucula · 12/11/2025 22:27

Talk to the school - honestly they can help!

Ivesaidenough · 12/11/2025 22:30

Also agree talking to the school can help. My son's school suggested they put him next to other kids they thought he would get along with in lessons. I would not have expected that!

HonoriaBulstrode · 13/11/2025 00:15

She's probably not the only one in that situation - primary school friendships not surviving the transition. Can she look out for other girls who might be on their own and strike up a conversation? That's how I met the girl who became one of my best friends at secondary school, just got chatting in the playground one day.

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