I have two DDs. My DD1 is what I woild describe to be my 'tricky child' - she is diagnosed ADHD with Autistic tendencies. While I worry about her, she gets on pretty well in life with the occasional meltdown and social awkwardness lots of neurodiverse kids struggle with. But I am not nearly as concerned about her as I am my DD2 'easy child' (age 7). She has always been so happy and easy going, but over the past year I've noticed a lot of red flags. She is incredibly defensive - she hardly ever appologieses and always has an excuse, or will flat out deny doing or saying something, and quite honestly, gaslights me ('I never said that mummy, you're imagining it' - sort of thing). It gets very wearisome. But aside from this, she also cries at the drop of a hat, with no idea why she is crying. If I ask her why she is crying she says she doesnt know why but she just feels so sad. She can't tell me why she is sad either. This happens pretty much every day. If shes not sad then she is deliriously happy and is always trying to make others laugh and defuse situations with humour. I feel like she has a high level of anxiety, and fear of dissaproval. I feel awful and of course blame myself for whatever I've done to make her feel so insecure that she behaves this way.
I have no idea what to do! How do I help her? I don't always deal with it well and the defensiveness in particular makes me short tempered (again - guilt!) I would love any advise on how to help my little girl sparkle again.