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How do I tell my 7 year old that his dad doesn’t want to see him anymore?

4 replies

ForBlueHedgehog · 04/11/2025 21:51

My 7 year old child has been having contact with his dad for a little over two years (through his dad’s choice that there was no contact before this). I tried to work with him on contact schedule but we disagreed. Throughout the mediation and court process he was consistently difficult. We have had the court order now for around 18 months. During this time he has already dropped some allocated contact with our child due to his “behaviour”. He was mostly consistent with the remaining contact he did have, however our child’s need was always below his children from a different relationship. He now wants to vary the order again and I have disagreed. I believe it is to meet his needs and not our child’s. as I have disagreed, he has stated that he wants no contact going forward. He has maintained this position, even in response to trying to find a solution.

I now have to tell my child that this relationship they have built with their father and siblings is no longer going to continue. Our child will be truly devastated. I have no idea how to tell them. Does anybody have any advice, please? I have been thinking for weeks, but nothing seems right. His bahbiour is already struggling at the moment, we suspect there could potentially be adhd there and I’m going through the necessary channels for this.

OP posts:
Ghht · 05/11/2025 02:08

Oh gosh, that must be so heartbreaking for you. What a disgusting man for doing that to your ds.

My own father also stopped seeing me suddenly, around the age of 5. I was devastated and confused. I definitely don’t think you should tell ds at this age that his dad simply doesn’t want to see him anymore- the rejection and hurt is far too much. I would probably make some excuse that his dad needs to work away so he won’t be seeing him for a while…something like that just for now. Little kids don’t need to know the truth of some things because they just end up blaming themselves otherwise.

Namechange822 · 05/11/2025 03:24

Before you talk to him about it, I would think hard about whether there is any way for him to have an ongoing relationship with his siblings. Could you contact their mum about facilitating some sort of contact?

No5ChalksRoad · 05/11/2025 03:36

You need to navigate this with a professional therapist, not mumsnet. Urgently.

Your child’s lifelong mental health is at stake.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 05/11/2025 03:44

I think you need CAMHS involved, for the suspected ADHD and the bereavement.

Your poor boy.

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