DD6 thinking about death/dying - help

[maddingcrow]

My DD6 has started saying she can’t stop thinking about death/dying.

She will suddenly say during Paw Patrol (or similar!) ‘I don’t want to die.’ Or ‘I’m not comfortable about dying.’ And says her tummy feels funny.

I’ve said all the usual things - it’s a part of life, it’ll be a long time away, it almost always happens when you’ve had a long life, etc etc but it doesn’t seem to be helping - whatever I say, I can’t say for certain what happens after you die, so I think it’s the not knowing that’s scaring her. She hasn’t experienced losing anyone close, although she’s always asking about my dad who died before she was born.

It’s almost making me wish I’d just told her we go to heaven (like I was told) - at least I didn’t think about my own mortality till I stopped believing in my teens!

Anyway, any tips or advice would be gratefully received.

My dgd 7 lost her paternal grandad and also great uncle on maternal side over the last year so we have had questions and moments of anxiety from her, we just explained ppl don't usually die until they are very old( both men were) and that she shouldn't worry, adults are there so kids don't have to worry about things. Not sure this will help you though 🤔

https://www.childbereavementuk.org/supporting-child-anxious-about-death
this site has some good advice. I remember one of mine going through this phase, think it’s when they start to realise that life can be difficult/hard sometimes.

Thank you both, appreciate it - that website explains things really well, so I’ll definitely use some of that next time she asks, which will probably be tomorrow!

Would she like books like badgers parting gifts or ones about grandpa dying.

Have you asked her what s he is worried about.

Normal in my experience. It’s an age where they ‘realise’ what death is. It’s not the abstract concept it was to them previously and they understand it means not being here anymore. That’s scary!

It then depends on beliefs and what you want to tell your kids as to how they move forward. This is where Christian religion is really handy (😁) as it’s not ‘the end’ but you just swap here for heaven etc. Or reincarnation where it’s also not ‘the end’ but still scarier than the previous option, as with that, they are still ‘them’, whereas with reincarnation they will be someone else, which is unsettling for a 6yo. Or, there is just nothing. Or, no one has the foggiest. Obviously, they get over their fear fastest with the first option, through to longest with the last options, where honestly, I think they just get tired of being scared of it.