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Child mental health

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Original poster

WFH with a 3 year old and 1 year old

31 replies

Agapita84 · 17/10/2025 20:52

How do you do working from home with a 3 year old and a one year old around?
I started WFH, but İ don't want to come out of my office in fear that the kids will want to be with mum. They are currently been looked after full time by dad.

Any tips on how to make this transition for them and myself would be appreciated.

The idea of me not coming out is that I don't want them to missunderstand and think I am back with them, when in reality perhaps I went to pick up a coffee and go back to the office.

OP posts:

User415373 · 17/10/2025 22:36

I just pretend I'm not there. I have actually pretended to leave via the front door then looped back to go upstairs. And DH tried to be out and about with them as much as possible.
This is rare though as they are generally both at nursery so not a regular problem.

Jk987 · 17/10/2025 22:39

Your dh should be taking the children out for at least half the day! The 3 yr old can be in nursery part time.

Can you go to the office once/twice a week?

ErrolTheDragon · 17/10/2025 23:00

Agapita84 · 17/10/2025 21:54

Thanks everyone, big misunderstanding here. My husband is the main carer. I do not look after the kids while working. I actually stay upstairs in the office and go downstairs for the occasional coffee that I definitely need. I just want to know how other mums in similar situation have explained to their very young kids and what actually works or doesn't work ❤️

I only had one dc, wfh full time until she started school. We had a nanny, I did essentially what you do, had my tea breaks and lunch then went back up into my office and shut the door. It wasn’t really a problem.

ShrimpyMcNeat · 18/10/2025 09:52

As PP said you (and your partner) will just need to be firm with the kids. ‘Mummy is working now and can’t play, go and do x with daddy’ (and daddy reinforcing this!!) will be vital

Agree with this.

Also...don't let the guilt get you. That's quite difficult and doesn't actually get any easier as they age.

There are times even now when a teenager will knock then rush in with something exciting to tell me and I have to say sorry, I'm about to step into a meeting. And it's hard and I need to pull my big girl pants up about it.

When I finish I always make sure I go straight to the dc to talk about their day etc.

Noshadelamp · 18/10/2025 09:58

If this is going to be an ongoing arrangement then they need to get used to seeing you briefly getting a coffee or stretching your legs and then going back to work.

Yes it will be difficult at first for all of you, but your DH needs to help them understand, and then distract them once you go back upstairs to minimise the effect on them.

"Yes there's mummy, she's working isn't she, so we need to just say hello and then leave her alone, come on let's finish this drawing"

"Remember we talked about this, mummy is getting her drink then going back to work upstairs, what do you want for lunch?"

No big deal, breezy.

It's not your responsibility to manage this, it's your DH's, he's the main carer.

I think the sooner they get used to it the better, it's unsustainable you not coming out of the room.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 18/10/2025 09:59

I used to look after a 4/5 year old girl after school three days per week. On one of those days her mum was WFH and it was always more difficult because she would want to go and see her mum. When she knew her mum wasn't in the house she was fine.

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