Sorry for the long read in advance ....
Im feeling quite deflated at this situation. And would be really grateful for your opinions / views on this situation .
My 14 almost 15 yo son is due to go on a holiday to Greece with his dad and his dad's partner. We co parent and have dine since my son was 3. He spends most weekends with his dad and this has always been the case as his dad has always been quit the controlling one that takes all of his own needs and wants into consideration and not other people's, and ive always been the one that just wants my sons needs amd wants met so if hes happy then so am I. (Myseld and his dad do get on amicably when he isnt acting a child throwing their dummy from the pram)
The holiday is all booked and paid.
My son never got asked if he wanted to go And he was just told he was going. I do normally always ask my son if he would like to come in holiday with us before we book as its important to me to implement choice and as hes getting older with different wants and needs I just like to make sure hes happy. (He isnt spoiled though if that makes sense)
My son is diagnosed with ADHD and emotional dysregulation and its really important to me that he has a parent that he can open up to and share his worries with etc... that parent has always been me... as the relationship woth his dad has always been a kind of pressured one with more of a friendship feel than father and son , ie, if he doesn't feel to go football training one week as hes unwell or tired then his dad threatens to cancel the payment or if his football mates have something he has to make sure my son has it too. Bit like a sheep .... hes similar himself with fashion. And keeping up with the jones'es type thing.
Anyway back to his holiday.... my son was dating a girl for 10 months and shes just broken up with him , and he is feeling really emotional and rubbish.... of course im gus safe space and his shoulder to cry on and he is really now not wanting to go on holiday with his dad to greece, hes too scared to tell his dad as his dad will really be angry with him.
And I will feel upset with his dad if he tried to force my son to go as hes always suffered wirh his mental health , and hes really not in a good place right now... if he goes to Greece he will nit go to his dad for support if he felt emotional or just needed to chat, it will just be his dad and his partner so no one to really socialise with .....
What would you do in this situation.... his dad has never really understood mental health or even his diagnosis and has basically told me never to tell anyone as he will be labelled.
He stopped paying child support ad the age of my son tuning 4 and said he will just save his money up for him in a separate bank which I dont belive he does (this is just some info to have more of an i sight to hiw he is).
My sons wellbeing is so important and all is dad will see it as wasted money.
Please help settle a mothers mind xxxx