Please or to access all these features

Child mental health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

TW Child abuse, need advice.

4 replies

Breaksmyheart · 22/06/2025 05:04

I have to be careful with information as it could land in me and my children in serious trouble so I apologise if it's vague.

My son (11) has a close friend (12) who spends alot of time at my house. His home life is beyond awful, both parents use drugs with abuse present in the home in the form of physical, emotional, mental and neglect.

One of the parents is very popular in the criminal side of things and is well known for violence.

This boy is very open with me, as I offer a safe space for him to relax and be himself (he acts up in school and at home, understandably) and he's told me some abhorrent things but, the parents know I'm the only person who would know, as he's been friends with my son for years.
I want to speak out to relevant authorities but fear the repercussions on myself and my boys if I do. It's getting so bad he's told me he doesn't want to live anymore and has begged for me to adopt him. He's been sworn to secrecy by his parents to not tell anyone about what happens at home, and fears a beating if he does.

I will always be a safe place for this boy, I have grown to really care for him and often replace worn out uniform when his either gets too small or had holes. If I speak out I put myself and my children in danger. I don't know what to do and my heart breaks when he knows he has to go home and asks to stay. He's currently sleeping upstairs but I know I have to let him go at some point.

Please please advise me.

OP posts:
TheOrbOfTheEmmisary · 22/06/2025 08:51

You can't really do anything without his permission anyway, even if parents don't react, and nothing comes of it, your child loses a friend. Best thing to do is encourage them to talk to a safe professional at school.

NewDogOwner · 22/06/2025 08:58

TheOrbOfTheEmmisary · 22/06/2025 08:51

You can't really do anything without his permission anyway, even if parents don't react, and nothing comes of it, your child loses a friend. Best thing to do is encourage them to talk to a safe professional at school.

Yes. Get him to tell a teacher.

Realisation14 · 23/06/2025 07:16

100% agree with pp's, you need to encourage him to talk to a teacher about even a fraction of what's going on at home, it will be enough for them to report concerns to social services and trigger an investigation.

GoldMoon · 23/06/2025 07:21

If you said to him you are worried about him but fear of repercussions but would support him by going with him to report to a teacher , do you think he would be able to do that ?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page