Advice needed

[pumpkin1976]

My 13 year old DD has had a terrible week, restlessness and feeling anxious which abs culminated in her having anxiety/panic type attacks. Shes had periods of low level anxiety, with no known reason or trigger. She doesn't worry about specific things it's just the overwhelming feeling of stress and adrenaline that gives her the anxiety. She knows loads about anxiety, strategies but they don't work.

I'm thinking of taking her to see the GP. We don't want a referral to CAMHS (as would go private anyway) but im wondering what the GP can realistically do? I feel this is either an anxiety disorder/condition which she will always have or whether something physical is causing it. She had a blood test last year and her thyroid checked and it was okay.

what else could I ask the GP to do?

I'm at a loss and heartbroken for her, she's not the person she was a few weeks ago.

Bump???

Realistically, the GP can do very little. They might prescribe antidepressants (as they work for anxiety too sometimes) but they'll not do anything else. Some won't even prescribe unless DD is 18.

If you're going private for therapy, do you know what you're looking for?

you can have a chat with the GP, it can be useful to talk to someone to put things into perspective. They may offer to refer your DD to psychiatry or for therapy (both through camhs). Of course it is up to you to go private if you want to, but theres no harm in being on the very long waiting list.
what about school? They can also offer some support.
You seem to have ruled out a physical cause and you say that cognitive strategies are not helping. What about psychotherapy (see ACP website: https://childpsychotherapy.org.uk/) They would be working on a deeper level

It will depens on your area. I went to see GP for the same reason for my daughter and it’s an automatic referal to CAMHS. CAMHS may rejected it and sign post to another service. The area were my GP friend worls they refer to a service which is a step down from CAMHS and the kids get an in person appointment within a week.

Do you know what help you’re looking for?

Hi thanks all, she's now having a blood test hormone panel and cortisol, as she is having spikes of adrenaline (has happened on and off for the last 18 months) hard to separate what's from anxiety or physical stuff.

We aren't going down the CAMHS Route, I'm a social worker with children and know for a fact it'll be ages waiting and they'll offer online cbt . I know kids who are self harming that CAMHS won't touch, the support out there is awful. We've paid to see a private dr who works with anxiety/ ND and will have an appointment and see what advice we can get. My daughter can't relax, she doesn't know how to and can't bring herself to. I think it's a build up of stress over time and it causes a sort of burnout for her. CBT is an option but I know lots of kids struggle with this as it relies on a lot of self discipline but we'll see. School have been fab and can do work with her but we've said no as she'll hate school doing it and already knows loads about anxiety and how it works. They're checking in with her and the pastoral support there is very good (although I sometimes wonder that as a school they are high achieving and lots of the kids have anxiety hence why pastoral has to be good!)

thanks all, we will see how she gets on. She is soo annoyed and angry at herself and the world, as she's normally a happy go lucky girl who doesn't have specific worries and she can't work out why she's suddenly feeling the way she does x

Thanks for the update. I would interested to know what the dr suggests if you don’t mind sharing.

I'll let you know. I'm not expecting much but tired of going round in circles so thought I'd speak to someone who knows their stuff. My daughter is happy to go, she's annoyed at things and is tired of having people talk to her about brains and anxiety and give her strategies which she feels just don't work for her. Not looking for a magic pill from the dr either but will just be nice to talk to someone who'll listen and not rush. I do wonder whether my daughter is just hard wired to get stressed and burn out and we might need to look at lifestyle and schooling in general. Life is hiya too busy noisey and pressured for kids nowadays. The ones that think a bit deeper and feel things more can struggle with that I think. X

Has she been diagnosed as ND? Anxiety and burnt out if much more common but a diagnosis while considered a protective factors it’s a solution or startegy it’self.

You have my sympathy as my 12 year son started feeling generally anxious last year which has continued in to high school. He is anxious to travel and has a real fear of being sick. He is often sick before school and starts anticipating anxiety around tests, travel, fun days out (you name it) weeks before they happen. I feel for him but we keep plodding on trying new things over and over to try and desensitize rightly or wrongly. I think this is just him. Exercise helps greatly and he does a lot of sports. Sorry that's probably no help but my hope is that he develops coping strategies as he gets older with our help. Of course if it worsens we will go to the GP.

Thanks were wondering what is going on, although like you said strategies are better than a label. My daughter has had periods of anxiety as a young child (which were odd at the time but they were few and far between) The transition to secondary school is definitely the trigger. She definitely has (over the last 18 months) had periods of stability and things being okay and then it hits her. She is very social, loves her friendships and is popular, she's not a perfectionist (doesn't put a lot of effort into school work outside of school) and says she loves school but also admits that school is a distraction from her feelings of being restless. She does go to a grammar school and they do work then hard, I'm left wondering whether she should be at the local comp instead? I guess being over stimulated and drained can happen there too though. I think if she was a girl who pressured herself, recused and stressed over work a lot and feared failure we'd have moved her by now but she's none of those things. She did break down yesterday and admit that she does have frequent feelings of numbness, restlessness and disconnect. She's upset as she doesn't know why. She's so very tired at times too. It's getting her down but she said that she loves herself and likes who she is, she's just angry and confused at feeling that way.

We have a drs appt next week so we will see how she gets on with that. She also has a blood test looking at cortisol and hormones, not sure that'll tell us much. I have had a big chat with her about looking after herself, walking exercising to burn off adrenaline, she's rubbish at relaxing (does not have the patience too) She'd happily sit scrolling which is bad and she'll come off when we ask her too. It's like she doesn't have the energy to relax, as that takes effort.

what a stress but it breaks my heart seeing her struggle. We'd move heaven and earth for her if we had to, she's such a fab girl. My hubby works in education and said that over 50% of uni applicants now declare mental health an issue, I often wonder what's going on with the world and how it's treating teens nowadays x

This sounds really tough. I work with young people as a qualified children's wellbeing practitioner and I speak to loads of kids who experience this kind of anxiety. It sounds like you’re doing a brilliant job holding space for him while gently encouraging him to keep going. Repeated exposure can be helpful, even if it’s a slow process and your approach sounds really thoughtful. I’m so glad to hear that sport and exercise are helping, that has always been helpful for me. Hopefully he’ll start to develop coping strategies that work for him as he gets older too.