Help!? I need some advise. I have a nearly 12 year old boy. Me and his dad split when he was nearly 2.
There was DV throughout my relationship with his dad and my son witnessed some of this. Throughout his childhood he's been continually let down by his father untill the last 3 years ago, since then he's had consistent routine seeing his dad weekly. 1 year ago my son stopped seeing his dad for 6 months because of the dirt that he would throw on my name. My son stood up to his dad for the first time and told him that he was not okay with how he spoke about me. His dad apologised and has been a better dad to him since this for the first time in his life.
My sons dad's side of the family aren't involved with him unless his dad takes him to see them which is very rare, as little as 2 times a year. They won't text him or ring him to see how he is, but the occassions that they do see him they love bomb him. His dads sister has done nothing but cause problems for me in the past and still trys to continue to do so. My son suffers with severe ADHD has ASD and severe mental health issues (where he makes threats to end his life) my sons dad's sister only seems to message my son on occassions that she has passed me out in public(supermarket, petrol station ext) she Will promise him that she will come to see him or he can sleep over along with other things such as promising to buy him things or that she will give him money.. and never follows through. I've tried asking her not to do this and to go through me if she would like to organise seeing my son. I even blocked her of his phone so that she couldnt contact him directly without okaying it with me first. When she realised that id done this she then goes to see him when he is round his dad's and questions him why I've blocked her, and interrigates him about what ive said to him and proceeds to tell him i am in the wrong and that i shouldnt be stopping her from speaking to him via text ext.. victimising herself and manipulating my son acting like I am doing it out of spite. The effect it has on my son after she's messaged him is so emotionally damaging to him, his whole attitude is explosive, unreasonable , destructive and even self harms by hitting himself and he seems to be at his worst emotionally when she has made contact so it seems to me that this is a massive trigger! As he is very aware that she gives false promises, but i feel he holds onto the hope that she will follow through. I hate seeing my child like this. And I'm unsure about what steps I could take to stop this from happening? . I have tried to speaking with my son but being neurodiverse its difficult for him to understand fully especially when they are manipulating him.