Any advise, does my baby have early warning signs of neurological or mental illness

[MumQ8]

Hi all,

I'll try keep this brief but it's still a long read, not sure if this is the best section for this.
I'm worried about my baby boy, he is 3 months and 17 days old.
I do understand there are a lot of changes that happen around three months. He was a happy newborn, but around the late two to three months he has drastically changed.
And I'm worried it's more of a neurological or mental illness, early warning signs.
I'm wondering if anyone has had experience of this, and has maybe even older kids now diagnosed that showed signs as a baby.

For extra context I am epileptic and have a lot of family history on both sides, of many different neurological and mental illness. I also got very bad sepsis late in pregnancy; had a burst appendix and got sent home being told its pregency pains. And landed up back in hospital with my baby in distress. Was then given antibiotics nessary but unsafe for babies for two weeks in hospital. So that could have effected things. I then had an early emergency c section later on after the appendix. He was breech at the time, and there was a problem with him breathing when first born. He was taken away, and I only got to see my baby later. So those are factors that could maybe have caused something.

He has had bad reflux that began after a month I think, the Dr's are treating it. And it definitely improved he no longer projectile vomits. Other then that the Dr believes he is fine. But I don't feel like he is, and I'm going tomorrow for a third opinion now.

His moro reflex has become way more extreme, I've needed to put things by the changing mat for him to hold onto. Everything startles him worse.

He has become so sensitive to sensory input, sounds, light etc he can scream being outdoors, and relax in a dim room. I tried a baby group and he cried the whole time, I gave up after two sessions as it made him even more unhappy.
He won't sleep in a parm or car ride anymore, when we have gone out he will fight sleep for hours, eyes going blood shot he cannot be soothed to sleep. Only in a dark or dim room swaying and walking with him, and that can be a process.
Other days however he will oversleep, and trying to wake him to engage with him, has only resulted in him being awake and screaming, that full time before I can sooth him back to sleep again. I can't put him down or it makes it worse, I have to hold him.

He doesn't like his gym anymore, he cries if put into it. Before he cried if he didn't go in. He needs a single toy, and a simple space now. He stopped babbling, where's he used to babble nonstop (I understand that can be a developmental pause). He still can't hold his head up, and struggles in tummy time, they short sessions, which he can only tolerate on the chest and ball.

And my baby has become extremely sad a lot of the time. He will wake up screaming, cry and scream worse then getting a vaccine. He can cry so badly at times he can hardly breath. He can't be soothed easily, and can take ages to sooth and I've tried everything google could suggest.

And yes he is fed, cleaned, comfy, I have a Thermometer to check temperature accurately, there is no hair tangled around his toes, or rash, Etc etc etc. I honestly got to the point of changing the colours in the room, changing music, white noise sound, sang different songs, even decided maybe he didn't like Paddington stories anymore. I've got to the point where yesterday I was standing on one leg in hopes it would help, then realising that's just ridiculous.

Does anyone have any advise? Gone though something similar? Have suggestions of anything else it can be?
I'm a first time mom, and I'm heartbroken for my baby, I just want to make him smile more, I want to make his life better.

Thanks so much.

Hello, I wanted to reply as what you have written has reminded me so much of the early days with my little girl. She was pretty content for the first few weeks, then 'woke up to the world' around 10 weeks.

I found her so difficult as a baby. Hated the buggy and car seat and would just scream. I used to take her to baby sensory classes and always left early as she hated them. Slept relatively well in the night, but in the day would only sleep on me in a sling, which involved a lot of swaying around to music and covering her eyes to get her to sleep. If I didn't do this she would stay awake and get completely overtired. She absolutely hated tummy time and any overstimulating toys.

We powered through, she is now 3 and an absolute delight. She is still incredibly emotional, and doesn't like discomfort (eg if she falls over and slightly hurts herself she will react very strongly) but it now makes more sense to me why she was the way she was as a baby. There's absolutely nothing wrong with her developmentally, she's just a very emotional person.

I do suspect an element of undiagnosed reflux or similar which made her hate her buggy so much (once she was old enough to sit up, she became much more tolerant of it) It sounds like you are already exploring this route.

I just wanted to say it can be completely normal for some babies to be this way and for nothing to be wrong. I found it so isolating in the early months as I would watch these babies just lying in their buggies whilst their mum's drank coffee, and I would be the one walking up and down the road outside the cafe desperately trying to get them to sleep!

Hold on in there, it does get better x

Is he teething?

No.

this is not early warning signs of neurological or mental illness.

it’s most likely the reflux or teething.

quite a lot of babies spend most of their first few months screaming and crying pretty continuously. It’s pretty normal.

no link with Neuro problems or mental illness

Sounds like some time with a decent health visitor might be helpful.

DD is in her 30s now but my recollection of her at a similar age was that she cried and screamed all the time! She also had to be rocked to sleep which took hours.
She improved once she could sit up and take more of an interest in her surroundings. Once she could walk she was so much better. In my case I also think she was picking up on my stress and upset. I think a chat with a health visitor or someone else with practical experience of early childhood development would be helpful to you.
I think she got all her trouble out of the way early as she was a lovely child, an easy teenager and is a happy and successful adult.

@HRF2022thanks so much for sharing your experience with Me, and for the encouragement, I really appreciate you.
I already know that isolated feeling, and I'm sorry you went though it.

This really does give me a lot of comfort. I guess the crying was so bad, you imagine the worst. And everyone we know, all their babies were so different little angels. That you begin to really worry that yours needs help. It seemed so different we were worried it was impossonle to be personality. But happy that its possible that he is most likely just a sensitive soul. I've got myself a book today on babies personalities, and for the sensitive baby. So I can learn how to best be for him. Thanks again for the direction.

@Azandmenot that we can tell. But we have the gels and teether at the ready. Thanks

Babies that age aren't crying because they are sad, they're crying because they need something and it's the only way they can communicate and alert you , in your case most probably reflux or teething.

Babies spend a lot of time crying. They also change week by week and what they liked last week they won't this week.

All sounds completely normal 😊

@Octavia64thanks for the message. Saw the health visitors today. They checked him over, and they think his discomfort is from the reflux. They suggested I go back to his GP, to see if they can increase his dose.

Hi @MumQ8, alas for some
babies this is the norm as they realise they’re an entity of their own! My first two weren’t like this, then 3rd was and it really shocked me how unhappy and screamy they were. I worried a lot. They did have reflux which was treated but they were an unhappy baby for a good while. Sorry you’re going through this, it’s tough in the trenches - but if it’s any reassurance at all, no.3 is a happy, loving, pleasantly outgoing, thriving human now - in those dark
times, I’d never thought it possible!
You’ve got this!

@ScaryM0nsterthanks so much, we saw the health visitors today. And they were great.

I had one like this, he was constantly grumpy. He hated supermarkets (assume it was the noise and bright lights!) and the checkout staff would say “oh, we heard you come in!” as he would cry all the way round.
He improved a lot once he could walk, and was the easiest toddler/child you could wish for.
Later on as a teen he was diagnosed with IBS and I’m convinced to this day that’s what made him such a miserable baby…so it could well be the reflux causing your little one’s discomfort.
Anyway he’s now a strapping successful adult!

@Blackcountryexilethanks so much for sharing, I appreciate you. Definitely sounds a lot like my little one. Thanks for the suggestion, I have contacted an OT who specialises in creating schedules, and play for babies based on their personalities. So will get those classes to help me understand him better, also got a book on sensitive babies personalities. So happy to hear she was so lovely and doing great now.

Mine also screamed constantly. Obviously I knew babies screamed, but I was genuinely shocked by how loud this angry little tomato was. And DC would not let me put them down.

DC grew up to be a very affectionate cuddly child. Definitely nothing wrong. Just really liked being held and reassured.

I know you said you've tried white noise, but have you tried putting it on very loudly? I noticed mine settled down very quickly when the hoover was on. I was running the hoover in their room until I got worried about burning out the motor so I then moved to loud white noise.

@TeaRoseTallulahthanks so much, it does help to have the reassurance.

@Spareincomingthanks for sharing and the encouragement. Wow what you went though is crazy, must be harder to have had different babies first, then be surprised. It's so much reassurance thanks, I was just so worried that this was so unusual, and something was wrong with him. And I definitely feel happier knowing that other babies were like him, and landed up being happy kids.

@bigknitblanket Thanks so much for sharing really appreciate you , so happy to hear your son is now a successful adult. Really gives me a lot of comfort that my baby will be fine, and will grow up to be a happy chappy.

Have you considered your DC having cranial osteopathy? I’ve seen it having incredible effects on babies who are unsettled etc.

@HangTheDJHangTheDJHangTheDJ Thanks for sharing, yeah my little lad has a good set of lungs on him. And I know that all too well, I'm a human kangaroo, at least I'm getting very strong arms.
Thanks its really good to know, that your DC grew up to be healthy and loving.

My baby just turned 1 year old and some of this sounds familiar. From about 3 weeks he absolutely refused to sleep anywhere that wasn’t his crib, in the pitch dark, with his wave sounds playing. If we were out he would stay awake with severe FOMO and get more and more overstimulated. The more overstimulated he got, the more inconsolable he became. It also made his startle reflux much more severe and when he was very overtired he would startle so hard he struggled to sleep and would have to be held very tightly. It did mean that we hardly left the house for the first six months until he was on a predictable 3 nap schedule and could cope better with being tired.

If you haven’t already got it, download the wonder weeks app. It’s great for tracking milestones but also it identifies times when baby might be going through a fussy period as part of a developmental leap. This is basically because their brains are just developing at a fast rate and the sensory input is overwhelming to them.

Also, make sure you are following sleepy cues and wake windows as overtiredness can really make a baby overwhelmed and unhappy. I found the sample schedules on the Huckleberry site to be really good.

Last thing, my baby was diagnosed with a cows milk protein allergy (CMPA) around 3 months old. We had struggled for some time with crying at the bottle, gassiness etc. eventually he had blood in his stool which prompted the diagnosis. If the reflux doesn’t resolve with the medication please consider this as a possible diagnosis. I was pumping breastmilk and had to cut out all dairy and soy. But there are formulas available for CMPA babies too. Reflux may also explain why he doesn’t like the play gym anymore - it causes pain while lying down.

@Longhotsummers thanks for the suggestion, I've never heard of it before. I will look into it.

Haha yep I got very strong from it too. Even with a sling, it was a lot of weight to heft around.

If I'd known what I know now, I'd have started weight training before I got pregnant!

@badwolf82 thanks so much for sharing, I really appreciate you. Thanks for the suggestions I'll definitely download that app, will be good to have a guide, that all makes a lot of sense. I'll definitely try cutting dairy out, I drink almond milk but I have a lot of cheese and chocolates; definitely worth trying to see if that's affecting him.

I've definitely had to improve with reading the earlier cues; and we this week had got black out curtains and that's seemed to have made a huge difference. He wasnt napping if he saw lights or didnt have his white noise. Think the light was really bothering him.

My little one has major FOMO, and it's impossible going out. Nothing we have tried will work, no space he just will not sleep, thanks I actually hasn't put two and two together with the reflex and exhaustion. It's good to know that with the later naps it was better for you because I've also given up going out, after all the activities I've tried with him have ended miserably.

Thanks again.

hey it sounds like you had a very distressing experience bringing your little one into the world - you have had some great baby advice already, I would just say don't discount getting some help for you - talking things through with someone can be really helpful. Perhaps the health visitor can help connect you to someone to help you process everything you went through.

If there’s reflux issues, and settling, and sleep - try two weeks totally dairy free.

Some say it’s not an issue with breastfed babies. My experience says otherwise. Even sodding pesto in a wrap gave us 4 days of hell.

On the fomo for naps, and reflux - seat part of pram so not horizontal and something that achieves the effect of blonkers for horses so spoils the view. We went on to using a snooze shade.