The Distress Parent’s Separation Has on Toddlers

[Sweetcherry38]

This is a horrible dilemma for Toddlers it happened to me when I was a child and now my 3 year old is going through the distress of his parents being apart for 2 years. Anyone have any take on this. My son is my world and this is the last thing I want him to go through but I am concerned about how this is taking it’s toll on my son because his father was there at the birth but then had no interest or loyalty to either of us for 3 years and my poor son was left without a responsible or loyal father. It’s not easy for any single parent to have to deal with a child’s emotional distress especially when they are single and the only and primary carer of the child but it’s heartbreaking to see dealing with it alone but we persevere with fortitude. Is anyone or has anyone had to conquer this?

Is the dad still on the scene?

The father doesn’t contribute anything to his son’s life at all not even a birthday card or gift on his birthday. No CM either towards him and he left us to sleep with my unfriended friend. He has been carelessly absent from my sons life since so no he isn’t. I want nothing to do with him again but he has the option to see his son and gets plenty of options but he won’t even have a day off work to see him. It’s appalling.

In that case you can build a great life for you and your DC.Not saying it is easy, but the back and forward, possible conflict, step families etc is hard too. I’d just go forward the two of you and build the best life you can. Have you got friends/ family around? That definitely makes a difference.

Thank you. We: my son and I are trying to move forward with perseverance and fortitude and happiness together but I can’t deny it has been so hard for my poor son mentally to put up with his fathers selfish mind games e.g now I care about you, now I don’t. I’m in your life one minute then I won’t see you for months that’s his game. That’s cruel to kids who need both their parents. But we are making every effort for him to see his father but his father is not coming forward and isn’t committed.

Definitely agree with PP. You can be the very best parent on your own and give him everything he needs without some jobsworth in your life. You need nothing from him. Your lad just needs safety, love and a good routine.

Unlike a friend if mine who is separating from her husband. They both clearly love the child but detest each other. They do a week each and both are introducing new partners already, one if which has their own children. The poor 4 year old is a totally changed child and it’s tragic.

I think you should stop making an effort with the dad as that could be giving your son false hope.