Moving 3 year son out of the area, away from his friends and to a new nursery! VERY WORRIED

[SLEEPDEPRIVEDHELP]

Hello,

We live in a very, dinghy small flat but in a nice area near a park like Regent's Park, however we desperately need more space and can't afford to move within the community we're in now - plus I'm ready for something different and have many friends who live in the area we're moving to.

There are two things keeping me awake at night is the fact that my 3 year old son has so many friends in the area and loves his nursery, I'm so worried that for a bigger house we're ruining his childhood friendships. I just need help understanding how best to help him cope and how to assist him in making new friends?

The second is, my partner's mental health and how this will impact our child. She is all over the place with the move, she at first advocated strongly for it while I advocated strongly that we stay in the area because of the good schools and excellent transport links. We remained at an impasse until I relented and agreed to move as I cannot stand remaining in the flat any longer, now she's done a total 180 and is so upset we're leaving and blaming me for not holding the line.

Anyway, it's a bit of a draining situation but I just would like to some advice on how to support my son with this and how others have coped with moving a little one from their community of friends!

Do you have many friends from when you were 3 years old...
I think he'll be fine!

Re your 3 year old, they will settle in quickly and genuinely won't remember very much at all about their old home/ nursery/ friends. I moved age 5 and have some very vague memories of my first house/ school, no memories at all of friends. As someone who moved a few times with siblings, the only time moving to a new area really impacted on any of us was after the age of 13 or so.

Honestly, his age is the perfect age - not started school yet. He will make friends just as he has done already! They do really easily at that age as they aren't self-conscious.

If you leave it, he (and you) will grow out of the flat even more, and it will get harder to move him as he'll have started school.

Yes true - I suppose my only fear is that had we stayed he would have held onto those friendships

Hah true!

I moved home when I was 3 and a half.
Apparently I played with the boy next door and some girls down the road.
I went to a playgroup.
I regularly went on the train to town with my mum.
We went to a playground regularly.
There was a lady in the newsagents I loved plus a local "granny" that was friendly to all the children in the area.
I remember ZERO of this.
Absolutely none of it.

With all kindness he is 3. When he starts school most likely they will all go to different schools or be in different classes. You cannot not move house because of a 3 year old and his friends.

LOL I agree, it's how emotional my partner is being that is making me second guess myself

He’s 3, his friendships will all change when he goes to school anyway. Honestly he’ll be fine at this age.

Yes true - I suppose my only fear is that had we stayed he would have held onto those friendships

Unlikely. If you mean friendships from nursery/play school they are likely to fizzle out when children start school. They won't all go to the same one and will make new friends. If these are friendships you facilitate then they're not necessarily ones your ds would choose for himself.
Moving now will be much much easier than once he's started school.

You have many friends in the area you're planning to move to. And will have more space. No brainer.

We moved several times when I was young and I started my third school aged 7. I don't think it caused me any problems.

Honestly don't worry.

I was so worried when DD started school because none of her nursery friends were going to her school and she'd known some of them for over 3 years. She asked about a couple and we had a couple of park meet ups but by Christmas she was focused on her new school friends and stopped asking about nursery ones.

You're DS will be fine once he's settled.

My children are 10 and 7 neither can remember anything from when they were 3! They aren’t childhood friends that he’s going to miss they are other children who happen to go to the same nursery. Your son will make real friends at school that will be his childhood chums, children are much more resilient than we give them credit for!

DS3 had a very very best friend at 3yrs and I was really worried how going to a different school away from him would affect him. However he did not notice at all. He had so much fun making new friends he never mentioned him.

In fact DS1 chose to go to a different secondary school to his friends he had had from when he was a toddler and it was the best decision.

Children are remarkably resilient